Safe
by AlwaysAndForeverAfter
Summary: AU, Jade's parents take in foster children. They take in Cat, who was taken from a dysfunctional family. Jade, who was always emotionally distant, is intrigued by the strange girl and tries to find a way to make Cat come back to the real world and away from the fantasies and delusions she created, and Cat manages to bring out emotions in Jade that Jade never knew existed
1. Chapter 1

**I'm baaacckkk! haha and with another Cade story. I started thinking about this halfway through my other story, but wanted to finish that one first.**

**So yeah. This is an AU story where Jade does attend HA, and the rest of the gang does make appearances, but Cat isn't a part of their group. She becomes a part when she's taken in by the Wests and begins to attend HA with Jade, and starts hanging out with Jade's friends.**

**there will be mentions of Cat's past home life, which wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. i started out with an M rating, but i realized that that might limit the amount of people who will see it, so i'm changing it to T. it's not like there's smut or anything seriously _mature_ in the story. but there will be language and a few sensitive themes, but nothing too overtly _M_.**

**I'm in love with this idea, so i hope you all like it as much as i do.**

**The first chapter is short because i'm kinda trying to set the tone, but the rest will be longer.**

**Enjoy :)**

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Jade always thought there was an unusual irony in her life. For a person who is so terrible with people, she finds herself surrounded by strangers on almost a daily basis. People walk in and out of her home constantly, for as long as she could remember. Sometimes, Jade thinks that she scares the people away, but inside she knows that even her demented insanity is nothing compared to the lives that some of these people have lived. Though Jade doesn't like admitting it, she's not the scariest thing in the world.

Some things are just horrifying.

Since even before Jade was born, her parents took in foster children. Jade grew up with brothers and sisters moving in and out of the five extra bedrooms in their comfortably large house.

Jade has always tried convincing herself that she is the opposite of her parents. Jade's parents are saints, for lack of a better word. Mother Theresa herself must have laid a golden hand on the hearts of the West's, but completely forgot about their only biological daughter.

Jade wasn't like her parents.

Her parents open up their homes and hearts to total strangers. Often, these are kids who have seen a world of hurt, and the Wests are just trying to make things better for them. They sacrifice money that could be used for a more extravagant lifestyle for a normal family of three by turning it into a family of eight that switches constantly. Children grow up and leave the system. Children are adopted and leave the system. They're taken in by other family members and Jade says goodbye to them forever.

Jade is very good at goodbyes.

It's the hellos that always get to her.

Jade isn't completely heartless. She's not against the things her parents do. She knows that they've helped out more people than Jade ever will in a lifetime, and they're far from done. But Jade isn't a fan of new people entering her bubble.

It's times like the past week that Jade loves the most. For the past week, it's just been her and her parents. No other kids. No un-related "brothers" and "sisters" clouding her life. She can sit on her bed, listening to music softly in the background as her eyes scan the leather-clad book on her lap.

But she knows that these moments of solitude don't last long in her house. Over the past 17 years, Jade has learned to cherish those moments, because at any moment, her space will be invaded.

And so, as the doorbell rang and Jade heard her mother's lilting call for her to come down the stairs, Jade shut her book with a huff and walked out into the hallway.

She stood at the top of the staircase with her arms crossed in front of her against her black sweater, eyes glued to the door as her parents basically skipped to the white, wooden archway and pulled the door open.

"Mr. and Mrs. West," Angela smiled. Angela's eyes were as warm as Jade remembered them being 17 years ago. She was the case worker who worked most closely with the Wests, usually being the one to bring over the kids.

"Angela," Jade's mother chirped. "It's so lovely to see you again. How have you been?"

"I've been wonderful," she said. "But I have someone for you to meet. Mr. and Mrs. West, I'd like for you to meet Catarina Valentine."

She stepped to the side and Jade found herself staring at the girl from her position at the top of the staircase.

Jade and her parents were told little about the girl, other than the fact that she was a girl taken from very complicated home life, and that she was close to Jade's age.

But this wasn't the type of kid who is usually brought to the West's house by social services.

The kids are usually dark, both in personality and dress. Ripped jeans, oversized sweatshirts, and a look on their face that says they don't want to be here. There's usually a hint of defiance in their eye, and perhaps some battle wounds on their bodies. But that's not what Jade saw in front of her.

The foster kids usually aren't wearing pale pink lace dresses that delicately dance down to their knee and a white cardigan covering naturally tanned arms. They usually don't wear white ballet flats, or sparkly bows in their bright red-from-a-bottle hair. Except, it's not _red._ It's like a sharp fuchsia that screams in your ear. The kids don't usually smile weakly as they clutch a pink stuffed giraffe close to their chests.

"Hello," Catarina said with a tiny wave. Her voice was like a beautiful song. Jade watched as the petite girl shared pleasantries with her parents, just watching the way the tiny girl moved.

One thing Jade learned from her many years being a part of the foster care system was how to read people. It's something she was good at. People, as much as she disliked them, made sense. And this girl was no different, but it was like the story Jade was reading was filled with plot twists. Her eyes read happiness making fears. Her clothes were dark depression trying to be hidden by a false pretense of innocent joy. The stuffed animal to her chest and the bow in her hair were a tortured childhood and a desperate need to never grow up. The girl was complicated and intriguing.

"Jadelyn," her mother called again. "Come meet Catarina."

After a pause, Jade stormed down the stairs and into the foyer. She watched the small girl's eyes open a little wider at the sight of Jade's intimidating presence, but soon regained her composure.

_Acting_, Jade decided. One thing that most of these kids have always been good at is acting like they're completely fine when in truth, they're scared of life.

"You can call me Cat," the girl said. The corners of her mouth lifted into what could barely be considered a smile.

Jade nodded once, being about as close to a proper hello as this girl was going to get from her.

Jade didn't particularly like hellos.

"Why don't you show Catarina to her room," her mother said. Jade internally smirked as she saw Cat's eyes trail over to her mother, noting how the woman still used her full name.

"Whatever," Jade grumbled. She walked over to the girl, noticing how the head of brightly colored hair only just barely reached to Jade's chin.

"Put your arm out," Jade commanded.

Cat frowned as she shakily extended her arm. _It's a start_. Jade thought. It was a sign that the girl wasn't incapable of trust. Jade grabbed the girl by the wrist, feeling the fabric under her fingers. It was soft, and undoubtedly expensive. Jade pulled slightly and the girl walked behind her, pulling on her pink and white polka-dot suitcase as they made their way up the stairs and down the hall to the bedroom opposite Jade's.

The extra five rooms are basically decorated to fit any child who might walk through their door. One for a teenage girl, a teenage boy, a little girl, a little boy, and the fifth being a unisex room with a crib for a baby.

Jade hated babies.

They walked into the teenage girl room and Jade released her grip on the girl's wrist.

For a moment, neither of them says anything. Cat's eyes scan the room, which is void of any personal objects, and Jade's eyes scan Cat.

"I can read you, you know," Jade says suddenly, and Cat's eyes move to meet hers. "Everything about you."

Cat furrowed her eyebrows, and Jade thought she almost looked cute with that pensive look on her face. "What do you see?" She asked.

Jade shrugged. "A girl trying to make a good impression. She's seen hurt and pain, and she doesn't say anything about it, but her eyes scream for attention. They say that this girl wants laughter and love, but she feels broken inside. On the outside, she's perfect. Perfect hair, perfect smile, perfect clothes. But inside, its scars and bruises."

Cat didn't say anything, and Jade continued. "You're not the first to walk in here, you know. I've seen dozens of people like you. I just wanted you to know that I see everything. Including the things you don't know that I see and the things you don't _want_ me to see. All of those things that you're trying to keep secret won't stay secret for long."

After a moment, Cat finally answered. "Is this how you greet everyone, or am I special?"

Jade grinned, dark and sarcastic. "Little bright balls of sunshine don't usually walk into places like this, so yeah, little girl. I'm gonna say you're pretty damn special."

Cat's eyes didn't move from Jade's piercing green. "If you think that's going to scare me, you're going to have t to try harder," she said softly. "You're not as scary as you think you are."

It was a challenge wrapped up in such a polite wrapper that it almost made Jade smile.

Almost.

"You know what," Jade said, "that's what you think now. But you barely know me. Believe me. I'm more fucking scary than you think."

Jade saw the way Cat flinched at the expletive, and Jade's mother walked into the room.

"How do you like your room, Catarina?" she asked.

The smile returned to Cat's mouth as she looked around again. "It looks great," she said. "Thank you so much for letting me stay here."

"The pleasure is all mine," Mrs. West said. "Don't think of yourself as a guest in this home. This is your house now too. If you're hungry, open the fridge. All is yours."

Mrs. West turned to Jade before continuing. "And I know that my little Jadelyn is a bit… hard to get along with, but she'll take care of you, too," she said.

Jade hated how certain her mother seemed of her own words.

"Yeah," Jade said with no true sincerity behind her words. "I'll take care of you. Promise."

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**Ta Da! Chapter numero uno is complete. What do you think?**

**Reviews make me happy :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Yay! Chapter two. Sorry it took me a bit longer to update than it usually takes me. i'm normally updating every day or every other day, but i wanted to get into the right headspace for this story. I wanted it to be _right_, you know?**

**Also, i don't use a beta, so all mistakes are my own, and i do appologize profusly for every single one of them.**

**So yeah. here you go!**

**Enjoy :)**

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The Wests had an arrangement with Jade's school that the children they take in, if they're in the high school age, will attend the school for the period of time that they remain in the West residence. Jade was a Junior at Hollywood Arts, which is a performing arts school for gifted children. The majority of the time, the children who stay with the Wests aren't exactly musical geniuses or artistic masterminds like the rest of the HA student body.

The next morning when Jade walked down the hallway towards the stairs, she learned that Cat would fit in quite nicely. Loud, strong, rhythmic tones pushed through the shut bathroom door and floated throughout the house as Cat sang in the shower. Jade stopped in the hallway and just listened. Her voice was strong. Stronger than Jade would ever expect to come out of such a tiny body. The notes were perfect, and runs were executed with a well-practiced ease, as if the girl had been singing her whole life.

Jade found herself smiling at the sound, but when she realized the grin on her lips, she quickly turned it into a scowl and headed down the stairs to eat breakfast.

Jade poured herself a small bowl of Cheerios and made a turned on the coffee maker. Her mother and father flew through the kitchen, grabbing things and sticking them in their bags as they got ready to go to work themselves.

Jade heard delicate footsteps coming down the stairs and almost choked on her Cheerios at the sight of Cat. The little redhead had a pale pink flower clipped into her hair that matched the lacy pink dress that fell to her knee.

The coffee maker beeped and Jade got up with a scoff. "You always look like that?" she asked Cat as she poured herself a cup.

Cat looked down at her outfit and frowned. "Yeah?" she said softly.

Jade snorted and sat back down at the table. "Make yourself some breakfast," she said. "Cereal?"

Cat looked around at the different cereals in the cabinet and turned away, fiddling with the hem of her skirt nervously.

Jade took a spoonful of Cheerios to her lips and raised an eyebrow. "Are our cereal choices inadequate?"

Cat frowned and tilted her head to the side like a confused little puppy.

It took Jade a moment to realize why, but when she did, she rolled her eyes and sighed. "Not good enough," she explained. "What type of cereal do you usually eat?"

"Lucky Charms," Cat said, slowly walking over to the seat across from Jade at the table. "Fruit Loops. Captain Crunch. Fruity Pebbles."

Jade fake gagged. "Those are all so crazy sweet and-"

"Magically delicious!" Cat sang. Jade chuckled sarcastically and nodded.

"Riiiight," she said, dragging the word out like taffy. "Have some coffee then."

Cat shook her head. "I've never had coffee."

At this, Jade's eyes widened and she dropped her spoon in the now empty bowl in front of her. "You're _got_ to be kidding me. You're saying that you've yet to try a sip of the magical goodness that is coffee?"

Cat shook her head again and Jade quickly handed Cat her cup.

"Drink this," she demanded. Cat eyed her skeptically, so Jade lifted the cup to Cat's lips. "Drink," she said again, more firmly.

Cat complied as the cup was gently tipped towards her mouth so that the hot liquid could be drank. With just the tiniest sip, Cat grimaced and pushed Jade's hand away.

"That's so yucky!" she exclaimed, going up to the fridge to pour herself a glass of orange juice. "Why do so many people like that stuff?"

Jade chuckled again. "Well, I guess most people put milk and sugar in it, so that might help the taste."

"So why don't you?"

"I like my coffee black," Jade said with a smirk. "It mimics my heart."

Cat giggled and turned around, whipping her hair. Jade caught a whiff of the scent and found herself with butterflies.

_Wait, what?!_ She thought to herself. Why would Cat be giving her butterflies. Jade shook her head and downed the rest of her coffee before picking up her black messenger bag.

"You ready for school? She asked the redhead.

Cat picked up her brown backpack with pink flowers on it. "Yupp."

Together, they walked to Jade's car. She started the engine and connected her phone, putting the car into drive as music started playing through the speakers. Cat furrowed her eyebrows as a soft guitar and piano began to fill the car.

"This is the type of music you listen to?" she asked.

"There something wrong with it?" Jade countered. In her peripheral vision, she saw Cat sink slightly deeper into her leather seat at the natural venom in Jade's tone.

"No," Cat said meekly. "It's just, different, I guess."

Jade nodded and said nothing more as they drove to the Hollywood Arts parking lot. Cat's eyes were glued to the building and the people around it, her mouth wide in shock. Jade understood. Hollywood Arts was far from a typical high school.

Jade got out of the car and started to walk towards the front doors, and after a moment, Cat hurried up a bit to catch up to her. She spotted her unusual gang of friends crowded around Tori's locker, talking amongst themselves.

"People," Jade said with a nod. Beck walked over to her and placed a kiss on her cheek as he wrapped his arm around her waist.

"Hey babe," he said. "How's life?"

Jade rolled her eyes and nodded her head towards the petite girl hiding behind her. "That's Cat. She's staying with me for a while."

The group knew that Jade's parents were foster parents, and they were pretty much used to having different people coming in and out of Jade's house. One thing they've all learned is to not ask too many questions about life before the West house. Sometimes, when they do start to find out more about the person's past, scary things come out.

"Hi hi," Cat said quietly. Her high-pitched voice danced through the hallway. Jade inwardly rolled her eyes as Tori, Andre and Robbie instantly smiled at the sweet girl.

"Hey there Lil' Red," Andre said. Cat giggled and Robbie's smile grew wider.

"The office is that way," Jade said, pointing down the hall. "Go get your schedule and locker combination. My mom worked everything out with the school to make sure everything is ready for you."

"Kay kay." Cat bit on her bottom lip and began slowly walking in the direction Jade pointed when Tori spoke up.

"Cat, wait up. I'll show you the way." Cat grinned and the two headed down the hall.

"So where did you go to school before this?" Tori asked.

"I'm from Santa Monica," Cat said simply. A moment of silence passed between them as Tori thought of something else to say.

"I uh- I really think you're gonna like it here in Hollywood. You do anything performance-y?"

Cat shrugged. "I sing. And I like musical theatre."

"That's great!" Tori said with a smile. "I'd love to hear you sing sometime. Something about your voice makes me think that you'd be really great."

"Thanks," Cat said. Tori took Cat into the office and stayed with her as the secretary printed out the schedule.

"I'll show you to your first period class, if you want," Tori offered. "You have Spanish. I think Beck is in that first period."

"Sure. Thanks."

Tori dropped off Cat by the door as the little redhead slowly walked into the room to sit beside Beck.

Jade didn't get to actually see Beck until fourth period Creative Writing. She was already in her usual seat waiting when he sat down beside her and placed a fresh cup of coffee on her desk.

"She was in my first period class," Beck said suddenly. Jade frowned.

"Who is?"

"Cat. She's in my first period Spanish class."

Jade shrugged and snorted. "So? Why are you telling me this?" She picked up her pen and started to doddle a rose on her paper.

"I dunno," he said, and Jade knew that he shrugged, "She's kinda dumb."

Jade rolled her eyes and looked out the window. "The world is dumb."

After two more classes, Jade finally made her way to the Asphalt Café for lunch. Someone had shown the Cat the way, because she was already sitting at the table beside Robbie and Andre. Beck and Jade ordered from the food truck, and Jade even got a burrito for Cat. By the time they headed back towards the table, Tori was sitting there as well.

"Cat," Jade called. "Burrito." She tossed the burrito in Cat's direction, and Cat barely had time to react before it hit her. Cat didn't see it coming. As the burrito brushed the side of her face before falling on the table, Cat froze as memories played through her mind.

_He threw the jacket in her face, and the metal buttons hit Cat's upper lip and she winced in pain. He grabbed onto her arm and pushed her down to the floor where she landed on her backside and a painful sting ran up her spine._

_"Daddy," she whispered, bringing her hands up to protect her head as his foot connected with her stomach._

"Cat?" Tori looked at the girl beside her with worry in her eyes. Cat had gone frigid and her eyes seemed to glaze over as she disappeared into another world. Everyone had watched her intently as her face contorted with pain. She finally seemed to snap out of it and her eyes focused in on Tori's face, inches away from her own.

Jade watched with fascination as a well-rehearsed wall snapped back up and a childish innocent fell back into Cat's face.

"Whaty?" she asked. No one said anything, still shaken from the moment before. Cat paused for just a second before reaching for the burrito and unwrapping it.

"Jadey!" she exclaimed. "Buffalo chicken, peppers and mushrooms? That's my favorite!" she took a big bite before asking, "how did you know?"

Jade took a seat across from Cat and Beck followed. "Jade," she said. "Not Jadey. It's just Jade."

Cat shrugged and smiled. "Kay kay."

For the rest of the day, Jade watched Cat intently. She focused in on the redhead's every move, trying to figure her out.

It was one of Jade's favorite things to do. She liked getting deep into people's heads. To her, people were the ultimate puzzle, because you had to solve them without ever seeing the whole picture. You don't know what the original looks like, but you try to see how this piece and that one fit together to make sense out of it.

Jade loved the challenge. She loved figuring out why people do the weird things they do, and Cat definitely peaked her interest. But she wasn't the only one who had noticed Cat. Before the day was even half over, Jade heard Cat's name being repeated throughout the hallway as people talked about her.

Some things were fine. People commented on how she was nice and sweet. Some called her funny. Some said she wore cute clothes. This Jade was fine with.

But for some reason, Jade found her blood boiling when she heard the other comments. They'd talk about how her red hair was ridiculous. They'd say that she was weird. They'd call her stupid.

This, Jade could not stand.

At the end of last period, Jade found Cat at her locker and they began walking out towards the parking lot when some girl's voice caught Jade's attention.

"That new girl Cat is such an airhead," a blonde girl a few lockers down whispered to her friend. "She says the dumbest things. It's past the point of being dropped on the head as a baby and is wandering into the territory of being thrown up into the air, hitting the ceiling fan, and ricocheting off the wall." Her group of friends laughed, and Jade saw red.

She didn't even notice as her feet guided her to the blonde. Cat didn't see Jade was gone until she heard people gasping and talking. Then, Cat turned around and saw Jade with her arm across the girl's neck as she had her pushed up against the wall.

Cat gasped, wide eyed and watched. Her heart stopped as the other girl's face began to turn red and she was trying and trying desperately to fight Jade off, but it wasn't working. It was then that Cat learned that when you piss Jade West off, she was uncontrollable.

_"Please daddy," a young Cat said through her tears. "Please. I'll be good." The man towered above her and scoffed._

_"A little bitch like you is never good. You're useless. You're a waste of a life." He grabbed a hold of Cat's tiny neck within his beefy grasp and held her tight. Cat's vision began to turn white and spotted as she struggled for every breath. She began to feel light headed, and it was like the world was spinning around her. The whiteness was about to completely fade to black when she felt him release his grip and push her back onto the floor._

_"Worthless," he muttered before walking away._

Cat looked back up and saw Jade with her arms crossed across her chest, staring down at the girl. Cat's eyes zeroed in on the red spot on her neck.

"Never," Jade stated, eyes wild with fire, "ever _ever_ again will I catch you saying anything like that again, or I will _end_ you. Do I make myself clear?"

The girl nodded quickly before scrambling up onto her feet with the help of her friends. Jade chuckled and turned around. She was surprised to see the way Cat was looking at her. Her eyes were wide. Her mouth slightly agape. There was an expression on her face Jade couldn't quite place. Shock? No, that wasn't it.

Jade stepped closer to the small girl and Cat took a step back, and that's when Jade saw it.

Fear.

The look in Cat's eyes was pure terror.

Jade felt her stomach drop. She didn't know the gritty details of this girl's life, but she knew that there was nothing good.

"Cat," Jade said softly, probably softer than she ever said anything before in her life. Cat shook her head and took another step backwards before putting her head down and averting her gaze to the floor.

"I want to go home," Cat whispered. "Well, your home."

Jade opened her mouth to say something, but realized she had nothing to say. What words of comfort could she give the girl when she didn't even know what inner demons she was supposed to be tackling?

"Okay," Jade whispered.

They walked silently to the car and said nothing for more than half of the drive home. They contentedly listened to the hushed tones of the soft rock playing over Jade's radio.

Jade didn't move her eyes from the rode in front of her as she spoke. "Home is not where you live but where they understand you."

From the corner of her eye, she saw Cat's head turn and look at her, but Jade kept her gaze forward.

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**That last line Jade says is a quote by Christian Morganstern, in case anybody was wondering.**

**Reviews make me happy :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm really crazy about this idea haha. And I love every single one of you who is reading this as I write it. It really means a lot to me. I try to not make you guys wait too long between updates, but I'm just thinking of things as i go along with my day, randomly writing things into my phone, and then needing to type it all out when i get home at the end of the day. I know my writing process is extreamly disorginized, so i thank all who deal with it and still reach each of my updates.**

**Enjoy :)**

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The entire rest of the day, Jade felt something deep in her gut. It was an indescribable feeling that she had never experienced before. It was as if there was something inside her, eating away at her soul.

Normally, Jade would have been fascinated and absolutely enamored by this torturous feeling, but she was lost in the questionings of its origin.

She spent the rest of her day going about her business. She did her homework. She practiced the piano. She went to work at the coffee shop where she's been employed for the past two years. She went home to eat dinner. All the while, the clawing sensation persisted, as if there was something living inside of her and fighting its way out.

Cat hadn't said a word to her since the hallway at school. Jade told herself that she didn't care. This girl was just staying here until she could go on to a better place.

That's the way Jade had always seen her home. The West household was just a stepping stone in these people's lives. It was the place between whatever hell they came from and whatever lesser hell they were about to go to.

And so, Jade didn't seek out any contact with the petite girl. As far as Jade was concerned, they were housemates, and nothing more. It wasn't until much later in the day, when the four of them were all seated around the dinner table that Jade had contact with Cat. The two of them sat opposite each other, and their eyes met across the table.

The clawing sensation within Jade's gut intensified, and it wasn't a good feeling.

She wordlessly stabbed at her salad.

Jade was awoken in the middle of the night by an annoying touch on her shoulder. It kept repeating, over and over again until Jade came out of her sleepy coma, but the brunette refused to open her eyes. She heard the hard pouring of rain outside and a loud clash of thunder before her room illuminated with lighting behind her eyelids. Jade smiled.

And then the poke came back. Harder.

Jade quickly opened her eyes and turned her head. At first, she only saw what could have been almost mistaken to be the silhouette of a child. But then with another loud burst of thunder and another bright lighting flash, Jade saw Cat, standing in front of her bed in a pair of pink footie pajamas and a teddy bear under her arm.

"Cat!" Jade hissed. "What are you doing?" She turned and looked at the clock on her bedside table. "It's one in the morning."

Cat sniffled. "I don't like thunderstorms." Her voice broke over the last word.

"And?" Jade asked. "What do you want me to do? Make it stop raining?"

"Can I sleep in your bed?"

Jade saw up and leaned against the plush, black headboard. "What are you five?" The words came out harsher than she meant for them too, and Cat jumped at the tone. She sniffled again, louder, and began turning back to head out of the room.

Jade had the largest internal battle going on in her head. This girl was a stranger, and Jade didn't do people. She didn't want her in her bed. But there was something tugging on where Jade thought her heart would be had she had one that made her reconsider.

"Fine," she said, just as Cat as about to step out of the room. The small girl turned around and looked at Jade. Jade shuffled herself around in her bed to make room for the other girl and opened up the warm covers. "But just this once."

Cat quickly jumped into bed with Jade and snuggled herself into the blankets. "Thank you," she whispered. Jade noticed that it seemed to be a habit of hers; whispering when she was with the taller girl. Jade thought that maybe she knew the words didn't need to be loud to reach her.

"Whatever," Jade mumbled. She closed her eyes and was almost asleep before Cat spoke again.

"Do you hate me?" Cat whispered. Jade opened her eyes and just lay there for a minute, thinking over the words. She thought of how Cat had a mental freak out when Jade threw the burrito. She thought about how Cat was horrified of Jade after the hallway incident. How the girl seemed to jump whenever Jade's tone became angry.

If anything, Cat should hate her. The girl seemed so very bipolar about the whole situation. A couple hours ago, she was cowering in fear at the very sight of Jade, and now she was seeking comfort in the dark girl like a child would a guardian from a thunderstorm.

Jade turned around so she was facing Cat. In the moonlight that was fighting its way through the blinds over Jade's window, she could just make out Cat's face. "I don't hate _you_," Jade clarified. "I just don't really do well with people."

Cat's big doe eyes dug deep into Jade's emeralds, not faltering or looking away for even a second. "Everyone needs somebody sometimes."

"I don't," Jade retorted. She turned herself back around and fell asleep.

When she woke up in the morning to the blaring sounds of her alarm clock, there was an unfamiliar weight on her chest. For a moment, she squinted in confusion as she blindly reached over to shut off the obnoxious sound. It was only then that she looked down and saw herself staring down at a mess of red hair.

Cat was laying her head on Jade's chest, her left hand unabashedly cupping the taller girl's breast. Her mouth was open slightly and was emitting the cutest little snores.

_Wait_, Jade thought, _did I just call her cute?_ Jade shook her head and got up from the bed, roughly pushing the girl aside.

"Wake up," she said loudly. Cat shook the sleep from her head as she looked around the room confused. "Get dressed," Jade said. "We have school."

Before Jade could make it down the stairs to eat breakfast, she ran into Cat in the hallway. "Not even your friends?" Cat asked.

Jade furrowed her brow. "What are you talking about?"

"You said you didn't need anybody. Last night. You don't even need your friends?"

Jade scoffed. _Friends_. Such a silly word.

"I don't have friends," she said. "I'm not going to be bothered with people who only get in my way."

"I'd like to be your friend," Cat said, as if everything were that _simple_. Jade couldn't help but think that maybe, in Cat's world, it was.

"You're not going to like me when you really get to know me," Jade said. She didn't give the other girl a chance to respond before walking away.

Jade would never admit to the amount of time she spent observing the girl during the next day. They only had three classes together, and a lunch, but Jade made sure to keep tabs on her. She would find obscure ways to ask other people questions about Cat's behavior. She would keep her ears tuned in on any hallway gossip that may be about the girl. She scanned the hallways constantly for flashes of bright red hair or the sound of a giddy, girlish giggle.

Cat seemed to do be doing well. Or at least, Jade hadn't heard anything yet.

Jade knew there was something off about her; something that involved her past. And, while Jade wasn't really one to beat around the bush in even the most personal of matters, she didn't want to flat out ask the sweet girl to dive back into whatever shithole she was plucked from. From what very little Jade had seen from the girl already, there was no question that the life she lived was not very pretty.

One of the classes Jade shared with Cat was Sikowitz's acting class. It was Jade's favorite. While Jade had always had big dreams of being a playwright, she loved the challenges that the crazy barefooted man who taught the class threw at them on a daily basis – even if it were literal bouncy balls that he was _literally_ throwing at them.

"Jade," he called, taking a long sip from the coconut in his hand, "and…. Miss Tori Vega. On the stage please."

Jade and Tori got up from their seats and stood on the stage, awaiting his scenario. Jade's eyes scanned the faces of the classmates sitting in front of her, watching. Her eyes landed on Cat for only second before realizing that they were staring right at her.

Jade's eyes nervously moved along to the next person.

"Tori is a new girl in school, and Jade is a raging bully. Alphabet game. Starting… Jade. Now." He sat down in a seat in the front row and clasped his hands on his lap as he looked on in interest.

Jade loved his game.

"And where do you think you're going, freak?" Jade's voice boomed through the room. She added even more of a biting edge to the already naturally venomous tone she normally had.

"B-bathroom?" Tori said with a nervous stutter.

"Can't talk? I make you nervous?"

Tori shook her head. "Don't want to talk."

"Everyone knows you're a weirdo."

"Friends," Tori said. "My friends don't."

"Gee. Didn't think a wackjob like you would even have friends."

Sikowitz interrupted. "I want more drama!"

Tori looked at Jade and tried to think of something. "Hey, at least I have more friends than a crazy bitch like you would."

"I beg your pardon?" Jade said, brow raising in disbelief at Tori's words.

"Jade, you heard me. Don't make me repeat myself."

Jade sensed a change in the scene. It was as if they were no longer acting. The moment Vega had used her real name, she inserted the two of them into the conversation. This was real.

Jade felt the muscles in her jaw tighten.

"Kindly shut your trap before I walk over there and shut it for you," she spat.

The Latina grinned. "Like hell you would I want to see you try."

"My my _my_ aren't we getting a bit balsy." Jade's voice began to rise and she started to see red. Tori knew just how to push Jade's buttons, and she was going out of her way to make the taller girl flip out.

"Never too late to put my foot down and show you your faults."

"Oh my god just shut up now before you make me do something I regret."

"Promise?" Tori asked with a smirk. At that, Jade launched at her. Tori flinched back a little bit, but Jade didn't even have the time to touch her before a yell caused her to freeze.

"No!" Cat screamed, throwing herself from her seat and at the carpeted ground beneath her. The girl brought her knees to her chest and rocked back and forth on the ground, mumbling to herself with her eyes closed. "I'm under my bed. I'm under my bed. I'm under my bed," she repeated. Over and over again.

_Cat was huddled in the corner on the stairs, watching her parents argue. She cradled her left cheek in her palm, still stinging from where her father's hand struck her hard. She sniffled and turned to move, but accidentally knocked over the statue her mother had sitting on the landing, causing it to tumble down the entire flight of stairs and shatter against the tiled floor of the foyer._

_"What the fuck was that!" her father screamed. His heavy foot steps began to reach nearer and Cat scurried up the stairs to her room, diving under her bed and holding her stuffed bunny close to her chest. Her bed was always her safe place._

_Her father caught sight of her foot as she slipped under the bed. He reached under and grabbed her by the hand, yanking her out and pulling her onto her feet._

_The second slap was harder than the first. Cat felt his wedding bang drag across her cheek as she felt herself being thrown off her feet. She reaches out blindly for her bed, desperate to catch herself before she tumbled to the floor, but she was too far away. She lets out a gasp at the pain of her body colliding with the floor, and the back of her head smacks against the leg of her bed. Her eyes focus up at her father, who remains there standing._

_"Go clean up that mess," he said. His voice stung deeper than the cut on her cheek._

Jade watched the entire time. She still had her hand raised from where she was about to hit Tori, but her eyes were glued on the trembling redhead.

"Cat?" she whispered, lowering her hand and slowly walking towards the frightened girl. Cat was always dressed in pastels and smiles, and always had this aire of childish innocence about her. But here, as she lay on the floor in a broken heap, Jade saw a true child within her. It was as if she was regressing to when she was younger.

"Cat," she said again, slightly firmer. She crouched down on the ground beside her and gently reached a hand out to touch Cat's shoulder.

Cat jumped at the contact and her eyes flew open, landing on Jade's in a panic. "Please don't hit me," Cat said instantly, pushing herself away from the other girl.

Jade leaned back onto her heels and ran a hand through her hair, feeling her fingernails scraping against her scalp. It was a nervous habit she picked up when she was young. Her mother always would gently brush her hair back like what when she was upset. Then Jade didn't associate with her mother on that emotional level when Jade grew older, but it was still the only thing that calmed her.

"I would never hit you," Jade admitted.

"I don't believe you," Cat said in a pained whisper. "You choked that girl yesterday. You were going to hit Tori just now. You're mean."

The simplicity of Cat's statement made Jade pause. Cat was right. Nothing that she had just said was in any shape a lie. Those were both things that she had done, and she admittedly wasn't the nicest girl in the world, but the very idea of Cat thinking that Jade would ever hit her caused that painful feeling in her gut to return.

_Fuck_, Jade thought _what is that?_

When Jade's eyes return to Cat's again, they're so obviously torn. Something had changed within the petite girl between this morning when they were in bed together (had hated the way that sounded and the implications behind it) and what Cat was like now. And, she assumed it had something to do with Cat's freak out.

And, worse yet, she could see Cat coiling further into herself far faster than Jade could hope to set things right.

But Jade didn't understand why she would _want_ to set things right.

This is Cat. Her housemate. Nothing more. And yet Jade cared way too much.

She placed a featherlike hand on Cat's knee, feeling the muscles twitch under her touch. "Trust me," Jade whispered, and Cat's eyes bore deep into hers. Jade notices that they're not just brown. They're something darker and deeper. She sees the world in those eyes.

It's that simple, but Jade hated it. That too had implications behind it; implications of feelings that Jade refused to admit existed.

As much as Jade didn't do people, she _especially_ didn't do feelings.

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	4. Chapter 4

**Enjoy :)**

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That night again, as the wind picked up and the thunder roared, Cat tiptoed across the hall to Jade's room and climbed into the bed. She didn't ask the taller girl if it was okay, because she knew that Jade would just scoff.

When Jade awoke in the middle of the night, she became hyper aware of her proximity to the peacefully slumbering redhead, and thoughts of Sikowitz's class flooded her mind.

Jade was surprised by how unbelievably tangled their legs had become under the covers. She was unsure of where her legs vanished between Cat's, and what may stir within her gut if she tried to slide free of her though.

Jade's body was heated as it is. Cat's hand had snaked its way under Jade's top and rest gently against her flat stomach. Cat shifts slightly in her sleep and moved in closer to Jade, and the brunette's head spins with the smell of Cat's shampoo flooding her senses.

Jade was entirely cognizant of what it meant. Of the affection. Of the feelings that she had for Cat. A girl.

But _Cat_ of all people.

Jade wasn't a stranger to intimacy. She had been together with Beck for as long as she could remember. He was one of the only people she knew who could actually stand being with her and was willing to put up with her insane number of faults. She loved him for it.

She loved him.

And yet, with him, she never felt the things that she had acquainted love with. Love was all about sweaty palms, racing pulses, blushed cheeks and butterflies. As much as she loved Beck, Jade never felt these things with him. Not in the way that she feels them for Cat.

But she can't. Jade knew she wasn't gay. Countless nights in Beck's RV with the two of them clothed in only the covers of his bed as they lay skin on skin had told her that. But there was something about Cat that Jade just couldn't push out of her mind.

But she was determined to try.

She slowly and gently separated herself from the redhead, trying her hardest not to wake her from her peaceful slumber. Jade grabbed one of the many black pillows off her bed and tiptoed down the stairs to spend the next three hours of her sleep on the living room couch. She was glad that it was at least a Saturday and that she wasn't going to need to spend a school day with kinks in her beck from the discomfort she'll endure.

Hours later, Cat rolled over in the bed and shut her eyes tightly as a blinding sunlight fought its way into the room and right onto her face. She buried her face deep in the pillow, and found herself smiling.

It smelled like Jade. The West's house had this interesting scent. Something along the lines of warm vanilla and happiness. Every part of the house shared that smell, except for Jade's room. Jade was different. It was tangy oranges and a sharpness that was entirely Jade.

Cat opened one eye, noticing that she was alone in the room. That thought alone caused her to lift her head and look around, not seeing the taller girl anywhere. Cat grabbed onto her stuffed giraffe and headed down the hall and towards the staircase. She heard Mr. West snoring and the sound of the shower running in the master bathroom where Mrs. West must be.

When she heard the microwave door shut, Cat knew it must be Jade in the kitchen, and so she tiptoed down the stairs and into the kitchen. Jade had her back to her as the darker girl poured herself a glass of milk. Cat stood there and just watched her for a moment.

She looked at the sliver of exposed porcelain skin between the top of her black and white striped pajama pants and the hem of her black t-shirt. She watched as her shiny black hair, streaked with green and blue danced along her back and delicate shoulders.

"I don't get you," Jade said suddenly, startling Cat. The taller girl didn't even need to turn around to know that Cat was watching her. She put the gallon of milk back in the fridge and took a sip from her glass before turning around to meet brown eyes.

"Why?" Cat asked. Jade reached into one of the cabinets and pulled out a box of Lucky Charms and slid it across the table in Cat's direction, watching as her eyes lit up.

"You keep switching the way you act around me. In the mornings, you're all fine and whatever. Then, during the day, something snaps in you and you hate me. No, you're _scared_ of me. And yet, at night, you still crawl into my bed. Why?"

Cat shook her head as she poured herself a bowl of cereal. "I don't like thunderstorms."

Jade rolled her eyes. "Yeah. I got that. But why do you sleep in my bed when I obviously scare the shit out of you?"

"You don't scare me," Cat said quietly. Her voice rose to no more than a whisper.

Jade watched the small girl as she poured milk into the bowl and grabbed a spoon. "Yesterday at school, you kept repeating to yourself that you were under your bed. Did you hide under your bed a lot?"

Cat's eyes flickered up for just a moment before falling back down to the colored marshmallows swimming in the bowl on the table. "It's a safe place."

"Who were you hiding from?" Jade pressed. She tried to make her voice sound soft and inviting, knowing that she didn't want to scare the girl away, but softness isn't something that came particularly easily to Jade.

_Cat whimpered and looked up at her father. She saw his jaw tighten behind his trim beard and an almost indistinguishable twitch in his left eye. _

_Her mother casually stood up and walked to the kitchen. Cat heard the telltale sound of glass bottles clinking._

_Then, her father's fingernails pierced the skin of her upper arm as he shoved her backward. The liquor on his breath clouded around Cat in a sickening sweetness. She raised his hand and a slap resounded through the room, followed by a radiating pain from her cheek._

_His words instilled in her heart how worthless she was._

_He left her, a sobbing mess of a daughter on the cold wooden floor. _

"Does it matter?" Cat asked.

Jade's experience with all of the people who have walked in and out of her home have given her an innate ability to read the people around her. She could notice subtle changes in their demeanors- the dulling of eyes, a twitch in a smile, or nervous habits. Jade was a pro.

She saw the way Cat's expression darkened. She saw the way that the corners of her lips turned into the faintest of grimaces before evening out into a blank slate of pure nothingness.

"Of course it matters," Jade whispered. "_You_ matter."

Cat's eyes looked up and her broken brown mixed with Jade's curious green. But Cat didn't say anything. She looked back down and ate her cereal in silence under Jade's scrutinizing glare. She put her empty bowl in the sink and headed up the stairs and into the bathroom.

Cat turned on the hot shower and locked the door. She stood before the sink, eyes falling on her reflection in the mirror as warm steam began to fill the small room around her. She kept her eyes locked on her body as she began to remove her clothing.

She saw the scar on her shoulder. The bruises on her stomach that have yet to fade all the way. The burn marks from cigarettes on her stomach. She didn't need to turn around to see the long red stripes that went across her, serving as a permanent reminder of the pain she felt as his belt made contact with her skin.

Cat shook her head and stepped into the shower, letting the scolding water cascade down her tiny body, and not caring in the slightest.

Jade, her mother and Angela were all sitting around the kitchen table when Cat finally made her way down the stairs. Jade smirked as she took in the sight of the girl. The pink skirt Cat was wearing was her own, but she was wearing one of Jade's blue blouses. The chiffon material was almost see-through, and Jade could see the bright yellow of Cat's bra poking through. Jade noticed that Cat's hair was also curled slightly at the edges, and Cat must have helped herself to Jade's curling iron.

"Catarina," Mrs. West sang, pulling out the chair beside her as an invitation. Cat noticed that she still had yet to begin to call her Cat.

"Jadelyn promises me that you've been enjoying Hollywood Arts," she states, and Cat notices that she isn't the only one the woman insists calling by her full name. "Is that so?"

"Yeah," Cat chirped, smile set on her face. "It's really a great school. I've met so many amazingly talented people."

"That's wonderful to hear," Angela said. "So, the reason that I'm here is because I have a couple boxes of your belongings from your parent's house that I thought you'd want to sort through. You can pick which stuff you want to keep with you here, and the rest we can put in storage if you'd like."

"Thanks," Cat said. Jade noticed how her voice seemed to get lower.

"I'll help you bring them up to your room?" Angela offered, and all Cat could do was nod.

Each of them grabbed a box, being that there were four, and carried them up the wooden stairs to the room Cat has been calling her own. They set the boxes on the floor and just looked at them for a second.

"Well," Angela said, "we'll just leave you to sort through your things on your own."

Angela and Mrs. West left the room, but Jade simply took a seat on the bed. Cat gave her an impatient look, but Jade just shrugged.

"Don't mind me," she said. "I don't talk much. I'm just here to observe."

"You and I both know that's not true," Cat said, sitting herself down in front of the first box and beginning to open it. "You talk more than anyone else I've ever met."

Jade smirked. "It's part of my charm."

Cat turned away from her and reached into the first box and began to pull out piles of books. For the most part, they were all old, worn covers of classics. She pulled them out one by one, placing them beside her until all 20 of them sat on the floor. The books had previously sat on the only bookcase in her bedroom, but she had never even opened a single one of them.

Cat wasn't very big on reading.

Jade picked one up and flipped through the pages, reveling in the smell of old books. It was a wonderful musky, dusty smell that Jade loved. "Catcher in the Rye," she commented. "Good book."

Cat said nothing as she reached into the next box and pulled out a quilt. It was pale pink and yellow squares, stitched together. There were fraying threads hanging from here and there, and Cat held the quilt close to her body as she inhaled deeply, smelling the familiar scent of what was once her bedroom.

Was once, but isn't anymore.

"My Nona made it," Cat mumbled, folding the quilt back up and setting it beside her. "She hand stitched it and embroidered it."

"Are you and your grandmother close?"

"Nona passed away when I was 13."

Jade didn't say anything as she watched Cat pull out an old VHS tape. Cat read the label and smiled. "Nona videotaped my first school performance."

Again she reached into the box and pulled out a tiny jewelry box, like what you would find a ring in. Cat opened it and looked down at the shining gold surrounding a beautiful diamond set amongst tiny emeralds. "Her wedding ring," Cat whispered.

Jade said nothing. She just watched as Cat took more things from the boxes. There was a porcelain doll that looked just like her, complete with the incredibly red hair and big brown eyes. She had a voice synthesizer that, from the looks of it, was far from being inexpensive. There was a photo album that she quickly thumbed through, and Jade recognized a smaller version of Cat, but with her natural brown hair.

Jade decided she liked redheaded Cat better.

In a shoebox were more pictures, but these much older. They were filled with people Jade didn't recognize. Cat had a tiny pink blanket that looked like a baby blanket, and a bracelet filled with dozens of tiny silver charms that she snapped onto her wrist. She shook her hand once and smiled faintly at the jingle.

Apart from one more box filled with clothes, that was all of the things Angela brought.

Jade remained sitting on the bed as she watched Cat hang up the clothes in her closet.

"We can redecorate your room," she said suddenly. Cat turned around and looked at her. "I mean, look at this place."

Mrs. West never wanted to do too much decorating of the bedrooms because she was never sure what exactly the teens who would stay with her would like. The walls remained a very pale pink that was almost white. The bedspread was white. The desk, bedside table, and dresser were all a warm mahogany. But that was it. There was no personality. There was no personalization. There was none of that pizazz and quirkiness that Jade would have assumed Cat's old bedroom would have looked like.

"Really?" Cat asked. "But I don't want to decorate too much," she said. "This isn't _really_ my room."

"I know," Jade said. "It's not. You're just staying here. But honestly, you don't seem like the type of person who likes boring rooms like this."

Cat smiled. "I painted the walls of my bedroom myself," she said. "The walls had a base color of a really bright teal. Then I got little containers of a whole bunch of different color paints and just doodled on the walls."

Jade scoffed. "And how'd your parents feel about that one?"

Jade watched as Cat's smile faded for a moment. "My parents didn't go in my room much," Cat said. "My mother wasn't home very often and my father and I tried avoiding each other. We didn't really get along too well."

"Why's that?" Jade asked.

"One time, my brother took me to the park. And he squeezed his way into a baby swing and told me to push him, so I did. And then there was a lady who was looking at us funny because he wasn't a baby. So I got on my bike and drove to the store and bought him a binky. Then he put the binky into his mouth and said 'goo!', and the lady left us alone."

Cat's airy laugh filled the room. "Isn't that so funny?" she asked, dimples proudly on display. "He's not a baby!"

Jade raised a brow at the off kilter story, but she smiled slightly. It was cute. Cat was cute. She was pretty sure that the redhead had no mind-to-mouth filter whatsoever, but it was endearing.

"Great story," Jade said dryly.

Cat's smile suddenly faded and she watched Jade seriously. "Why are you so sad?" she asked, concern lacing her soft voice.

Jade frowned. "I'm not sad. I'm always like this."

"Exactly. You're always sad. I never see you smile."

Jade forced a smile onto her face and looked straight at Cat. "You see?" she asked with mock enthusiasm. "I'm smiling."

Cat rolled her eyes and sighed, and Jade couldn't help but think that the exasperated annoyance just looked adorable from Cat. "I meant a _real_ smile."

Jade frowned and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

Cat looked at Jade, trying hard to see into her.

She had seen glimpses of it before. The way that Jade's eyes softened ever so slightly when she talked to Cat. Cat wanted to see the look in those green eyes again. She wanted to see joy and happiness.

She needed to see it more than she's ever needed to see anything else before.

Cat is surprised to find the green eyes before her looking so intrigued.

"You're beautiful," Cat whispered.

Jade quickly shifted her eyes down at the ground, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. It wasn't a feeling she was used to feeling, and she definitely did not like it.

"I'm not as pretty as the other girls at school," Jade said, shaking her head. "I'm weird. I'm different. I like different things and I wear different clothes. Half of them think of me as a freak. If I wasn't such a bitch, I'd be at the bottom of the food chain."

Cat was stunned by the admission. She hadn't expected such a confession to be spurred from her simple comment. To be honest, she had started to set herself up to be completely dismissed.

Jade always seemed like the type to bury her emotions. She would tuck them deep inside her. This Jade, the vulnerable and unguarded Jade was new to Cat.

"No," Cat said, voice even and certain. "You're perfect."

Jade rolled her eyes and snorted, gaze still down at her feet. "Maybe to _you_."

"Yeah." Cat took a tentative step closer to Jade and gently touched the girl's chin to bring her gaze up to meet it. The idea of touching Jade like this scared Cat senseless. Jade had this aura about her that felt like a very high-end art museum, where if you reach out and touch something, laser beams would shoot out of somewhere and cut your hand off at the wrist.

But Jade didn't push Cat away. Instead, curious green eyes bore deep into expressive brown.

"Maybe that's all that matters," Cat said with a weak smile.

The smile was warm and gently. In part, it made Jade want to turn on her heel and run back to her room. To slam her bedroom door shut, blast some music and forget all about this strange redheaded girl with the adorable smile. To Jade, Catarina Valentine was a giant contradiction.

The people who walked into Jade's house saw firsthand that the world was not a good place. They knew that it did not contain good people. They saw the corruption, the deceit and the horrors that Jade had only ever heart about.

Cat was one of those people. Jade didn't even know for certain what horrors she had seen in her life. And yet, there she stands, smiling, eyes shining with a purity Jade had never known before.

It made Jade want to run. Far, _far_ away.

But, she remains, feet grounded. Her stomach was a mess of churning, conflicted emotions as they looked into those brown eyes.

Jade moved her head gently to the left so that Cat's hand fell from the place where she had been touching Jade's smooth skin.

"I should probably get going," Jade said, hating how low her voice sounded. She stepped away from the other girl and began to head out the door. At the last moment, she popped her head back in the room and said, "We can go looking for stuff to decorate your room tomorrow."

She hated the smile that spread across Cat's face.

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	5. Chapter 5

**To the Anon who asked for two chapters in one day. I hope this doesn't dissapoint haha**

**The last chapter had still left thoughts in my mind about this next one, so i just kept writing at your request.**

**So this chapter goes a bit deeper into Cat's past. and not all of it is pretty. i don't want to give too much away, but there is a flashback that does involve some blood. if that skeeves out out, its towards the end of the chapter, so you can skip over the blood if you want. it's not like a masacre, but i don't know how much it might bother some of you. i figure better to be on the safe side and tell you in advance.**

**Enjoy :)**

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Jade instantly went down the stairs, grabbed her keys from the kitchen counter and hopped in her car, driving on autopilot.

Jade hated this feeling. The clawing sensation was back. It was as if it was taunting her constantly. She had no clue what it was, but she knew enough to say that it had something to do with Cat.

Was this clawing sensation supposed to be affection? Jade didn't know. She knew that she had never felt this before, just as she had never felt for anyone the way she finds herself feeling for Cat. But that was stupid. Affection and love aren't supposed to be painful. It's not supposed to feel like something consuming you.

Jade drove until she saw Beck's RV, parked in his parents' driveway. She got out of her car and slammed the door shut, fiddling with her key ring to find the right one to open Beck's door. He had given her a key months ago, so now, she didn't even need to knock. She simply turned they key in the door and walked straight into the small space.

"Jade?" he asked, standing up from where he was sitting at his laptop on his bed. "Babe. What are you doing here?"

Jade leaned over and shut the laptop, putting it down on the floor. He watched her with a curious expression. And then, she was on him.

Her lips pressed to his with as much passion as she could muster. His hands roamed her body as her fingers tangled in his brown hair. She began to unbutton his flannel shirt as she pressed hungry kisses to his jaw.

"Babe," he said, watching his girlfriend hover above him and undress him, "not that I'm complaining, but what's up with you?"

Like that, she stopped. Her fingers dropped the material of his shirt and he heard her take in a sharp, ragged breath.

"I don't know," she said. She sat up on his lap and he lifted himself up onto his elbows so that she could look at her. He saw how she was torn and broken inside. It wasn't something he was used to seeing from her. Jade was always on top of the world. She made herself in charge, and no one was dumb enough to argue with her.

She spent a great deal of time building up the reputation she had made for herself. All of it was done in the name of self-preservation. Jade knew she was different. She knew that even in a school like Hollywood Arts, there was going to be some dislike for just how different Jade was. It wasn't easy for her. She was the goth. She was one of the only students there interested in being a serious playwright. She was talented beyond words. Acting, writing, singing, dancing. You name it, and Jade could do it.

People hate people who are talented. That's just jealousy. So when you mix that level of insane natural talent with Jade's alternative personality and darker interests, it was a recipe for hell.

Beck knew that one of the main reasons she became the hard-shell of a bitch that people know her as is because it was the only way to make sure that she remained relevant. This way, she wasn't just another nobody walking through the hallways. She was Jade fucking West, and the crowds in the hallways parted for her as she walked through.

Jade spent so much of her time trying to act as if she was above the rest of the world. As if she didn't feel the mundane emotions that normal people felt.

But no matter what other people said of her, Beck knew that Jade had a heart. It was just that not many people ever got access to it.

Right now, that heart was reflected in her eyes. The green swirled like emotion-laced paint, trying to make sense of everything. Beck sometimes thought that Jade's biggest problem was that for such a stoic façade, she felt _too much._ Jade had emotions bubbling up inside her that she desperately tried to keep inside, but she couldn't do anything to keep them from spilling from her eyes. That's the only place where Beck could ever truly get to see Jade's heart.

He reached his hand up and brushed a her soft black hair behind her ear. "What's wrong?" he asked. "There's something bothering you."

"Why do you love me?" she asked suddenly. Beck frowned at the question.

"Why are you asking?"

"Just answer it." She snapped at him. It was something she hated doing, but sometimes she did it without ever even really realizing it.

He sat up completely, gently pushing Jade off of him so that they sat side-by-side on his bed. He took her hands in his and looked deep into her eyes.

"I love you because you're a crazy bitch," he said. His lips moved into a small smirk and her green eyes dug deep into his. "You're confident and snarky. You're not easy. You argue with me. You're strong willed. You know what you want and how to get it. And, even though you'll never admit it to anyone, you're sweet. You do nice things for people as long as they don't know that you're doing it. You're kinder than you let people ever know. I love you because you're just as beautiful inside as you are outside."

Jade nodded, feeling an unwelcomed tear free itself from her eye. "Thank you," she whispered.

He shook his head. "But I don't get it, Jade. Why the questions? Why the bursting into my room and pouncing on top of me like a cat in heat?"

Jade shook her head and looked down at the bed. "It's nothing."

Beck didn't believe her. Not for a minute. But he had spent enough time with the girl to know better than you push for further questions when she obviously didn't want to talk about it.

When she wanted to talk, she would come to him.

That's just how Jade was.

"You want to stay here for a while?" Beck asked. Jade only nodded softly as she began to take off her shoes and slip under the covers of his bed.

When lunchtime came, Cat looked for Jade, but she was nowhere to be found. Cat hadn't seen her since the conversation up in her room. Cat went back up there after eating her peanut butter banana sandwich and wrapped herself in the quilt Nona made her. Cat reached under the bed and took out the shoebox with the pictures.

The pictures were old. Some of them were fading to yellow. Cat looked through them and picked out her favorite one. It was a picture of a little boy dressed in overalls, standing beside a teddy bear that was the size of him. The boy was smiling widely, showing his missing front tooth. The yard behind him was scattered with toy cars and a little go-cart.

Cat always found it hard to believe that this was her father. This little boy didn't have the hard eyes her father did. He didn't look like he'd have the rough, scratchy voice she associated with her father. This little boy didn't look like he would grow up to turn into the type of man to hurt his daughter, leaving her a bloody, crying mess on the floor.

But it was. Cat flipped the picture over and looked at her Nona's scribbled handwriting.

_Ricco Valentine – July 18__th__, 1968_

As much as Cat struggled to believe that this little boy grew up to be the man Cat knew as her father, it was a relief to her. It let her know that there was a time, long long ago, that her father was an actual person.

A gentle knock sounded on Cat's door, and she looked excitingly, hoping to see Jade's face. She hoped that she didn't look too disappointed when it was Mrs. West's face to peer into Cat's room instead.

"Catarina," she said. "Put on your shoes and coat. It's a bit chilly outside."

Cat put the box back under the bed and changed her fluffy pink slippers into a pair of bright purple boots. "Where are we going?" she asked.

"You have an appointment with your new psychologist, Dr. Lovely."

Cat nodded and silently walked down the stairs, slipped on her bright yellow jacket and followed Mrs. West into the car.

Cat never was a big fan of waiting rooms. She knows that no one is, really. But considering the amount of time she had been spending in them for the past year or so, you would think she would have gotten used to it by now.

But no. Each was always the same. Stale magazines. Old furniture. Strange art hanging on the pale beige walls. They're all awkward and uncomfortable.

There was one other person in the waiting room. So, following the unspoken rule, Cat sat nowhere near the man. She sat on the other side of the soon, staring at her purple boots and shuffling her feet as Mrs. West spoke with the woman sitting behind the desk.

A woman in a business suit walks over to Cat and extends a hand. "Catarina, I presume?" she asked. Her voice was warm and friendly.

Cat stood, smoothed out her skirt and shook her hand. "Cat," she clarified.

The woman nodded. "I'm Dr. Lovely. Please, follow me. We can chat in my office."

Her office was a medium sized room. The walls were painted a rich, warm scarlet. The furniture all a dark chocolate. There was her desk in one corner, surrounded by shelves upon shelves of thick, leather-bound books. In the middle of the room sat a chocolate leather couch and a matching chair opposite of it. The lights were off, but there was no need being that the sun shone in through a large window on the far wall. There were several plants in various locations around the room.

Cat remembered the first time she had sat down in a psychiatrist's office. She was about 15 years old. She sat down on the couch, being watched by a very tall man who kept asking her questions. He was called Dr. Mathews. He had asked her to talk about her parents, and she spoke vaguely, but her mind wasn't focused on it.

No, she was thinking if maybe he would give her some crayons. Then she could color him a pretty picture and he could hang it up on the wall. She liked coloring.

He talked to her, but Cat didn't listen much. She couldn't hold her train of thought for too long.

"Catarina?" She looked up from the floor and saw the concerned face of Dr. Lovely looking over at her. The doctor had taken a seat at the chair. "You can come sit down on the couch," she explained. "There's no need for you to stand in the doorway."

Cat nodded and shuffled her feet over to the couch. She tucked her skirt underneath her before sitting down.

"So, how do you like the West's home?" the doctor asked.

Cat kept her gaze down at the ground. "I know how this works," she said. The doctor was surprised at the confidence behind the small, child-like voice coming from the equally as small and child-like girl.

"Know how what works?" the doctor inquired.

Cat looked up and met Dr. Lovely's eyes. "I know you've read my file. I know you know about my parents. There's no point for chit chat."

Dr. Lovely nodded and wrote something down in the notepad on her lap. "Very well," she said, looking back up at Cat. "What would you like to talk about then?"

"Nothing," Cat answered. "I'd like to go home."

"Home to your parents?"

"No. The West's home."

Dr. Lovely nodded. "You've been there for only a few days and you're already calling it your home?"

"Home is not where you live but where they understand you," Cat recited. The words had been written in her mind ever since Jade had spoken them to her.

"And you feel as though the West's understand you?"

"They've welcomed me into their house and they've been nothing but nice to me. It's more a home than my old house ever was."

"So talk to me about your old house."

"You already know."

"I know," the doctor said. "But I want to hear it from you."

Cat took a deep breath and closed her eyes, going back to the emotions she had spent so long trying to push from her mind. "My parents were good people," she said. "My mom worked a lot. She's a talent agent. My dad worked for come big corporation that I don't really understand, but I know they both made a lot of money. But my dad got mad really easy, and my mom didn't stop him."

"With the jobs your parents had, did they spend a lot of time at home with you?"

"No," Cat admitted. "I had nannies all the time. The first memory I really have is when I was being taught how to ride a bike by Nanny #1 when I was like 6. And then we just kept switching nannies until I was 12. And then, either Daddy forgot to hire Nanny #8, or he just didn't care enough."

Dr. Lovely wrote more notes down. "And what was it like when your parents were home?"

"Scary," Cat whispered. "My daddy… he was mean. If I did something wrong, he'd yell real loud. His eyes would be sharp like glass. He'd hit me. Knock me to the ground. Kick me."

"And your mother?"

"Pretended it didn't happen." Cat's voice was almost an inaudible whisper, as if saying it any louder would have hurt her. It broke the doctor's heart to know that in all honesty, that was probably true.

Cat sniffled once and looked up at the doctor with tear filled eyes. They shone with the unshed tears that Cat was too strong to let fall. "Is that enough for today?" she asked. Her voice shaking.

"Yes, Cat," the doctor said softly. "I'll see you next weekend."

Cat nodded, stood up, and wordlessly walked to the waiting room where Mrs. West was seated, waiting to take Cat home.

When Cat and Mrs. West arrived back at the house, Cat was surprised to see Jade standing over the stove. The moment you walked into the kitchen, smells of garlic and deliciousness wafted through your senses. It was making Cat's mouth water, and she realized that it was dinner time.

Mrs. West began setting the table and Cat walked over to Jade to look at what she was going. She was sprinkling some cheese over what looked like lasagna.

"It looks super yummy," Cat said. "Smells good too."

"Vegetarian lasagna," Jade said. "My specialty. Can you grab me a tomato from the fridge and dice it?"

Cat got the tomato and a knife and placed it on the cutting board. Slowly, she picked up the knife and tried dicing the tomato. First horizontal lines to make slices, then across to make strips, and then across again to dice it. As she was almost done, the knife slipped and she cut her finger.

"Owie," she hissed, quickly moving her hand away so that she didn't bleed on the tomato. Jade heard Cat and turned around.

There it was again. Jade watched a blank look fall over Cat's face as she retreated into a dark memory. She watched as her eyes closed shut in a painful expression, as if she was feeling everything she had once felt. Cat was reliving everything.

_Cat was helping her mother in the kitchen when she accidently dropped a plate, having it shatter around her feet It wasn't entirely Cat's fault. Her father had insisted she help even though he knew that his daughter was extremely accident prone._

_At the sound of it, his heavy footsteps drew nearer as he came into the kitchen._

_"God!" he yelled. "You can never do anything right, can you. You're such a failure at life." He reached onto the counter and grabbed the paring knife that was lying near the sink._

_He waved the knife around. Cat kept shifting her focus from the wild look in his eyes to the glint of the metal against the fluorescent kitchen life._

_He spat at her. "An embarrassment for a daughter." _

_He grabbed onto her right arm, where she had rolled the sleeve up to her elbow, and held it out in front of her. Before she had time to think of what was happening, he brought the blade down against her skin, drawing a line of red. Cat felt it drag her skin as it tore her flesh in two._

_"Worthless," he muttered, tossing the knife into the sink and heading back to the living room. Cat looked over to where her mother was standing near the stove, mixing in the pot. The two locked eyes for just a fraction of a second before Mrs. Valentine dropped her gaze and looked away from her daughter._

_Cat rushed upstairs to her bathroom and wrapped a towel around her arm. The cut wasn't deep enough to be dangerous, but it bled. She sat down on the floor and rested her head against the cool edge of her tub, crying silent tears._

Jade watched as, with closed eyes, Cat moved her hand to grab onto her forearm. Jade didn't move her. Instead, she quietly walked to the cabinet where her mother kept the first aid kit and grabbed a roll of gaze and some bandages. She slowly took Cat's hand in hers, watching as her brown eyes fluttered open.

Cat didn't pull away from the touch. She let Jade put a bandage on her finger, even though the cut was almost nothing.

Jade's eyes tried to stealthily move to where Cat was grabbing at her forearm moments ago. Against the natural tan of her skin, Jade saw the thin white line of a scar. In her mind, there were dozens of questions she wanted to ask about the story of the scar, but she kept her mouth shut.

"Thanks," Cat mumbled when Jade was done.

Jade said nothing. She took the tomato and finished dicing it up finely, moving the knife skillfully as she quickly made chopping sounds against the board. She spread the tomato atop the lasagna and carried it out to the table.

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**Hah. i love updating that fast. the next chapter won't be as quickly as this. what is it, not even five hours since i posted the last one? i guess it's all my procrastination. i had all of spring break to do my homework, which i haven't even touched yet. and now, i'm going back to school tomorrow and there is still work to be done.**

**oh well. it was worth it.**

**Reviews make me happy :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**to Repetative Anon - I'd like that very much :) Thank you for your kind words.**

**So, i guess i can say that starting with this chapter and moving on to the next one, things will be picking up pace. I don't quite know whether it'll be the next chapter or the one after, but expect some major drama soon.**

**And, so far, this has been my favorite chapter to write.**

**I hope that's enough to leave you hanging in suspense haha**

**Enjoy :)**

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The next morning, Jade was only slightly surprised to wake up to a flash of red hair across her face. She brought a hand up to wipe it away from where it was tickling against her lips and propped herself up on her elbow, resting her chin in her hand.

The tiny girl beside her continued to sleep, with her head on the same pillow that, moments ago, Jade had been resting her own head on.

But there was no rain last night. No thunderstorms. And, Jade didn't remember even being awoken as the girl slipped into her bed.

Jade hated the fact that it didn't really bother her that much.

She carefully got out of the bed, trying her hardest not to shuffle around too much and wake the slumbering girl. She turned to her closet. The color choice in there was quite limited. Lots of black with little dashes of red, blue, green and purple. Jade had a definite personal style. She stripped off her shirt and stood there in front of her closet, staring at the clothes until an outfit idea 'came' to her.

Cat's eyes fluttered open and she stretched slightly, smiling again at the familiar bed. She noticed that she had yet to really spend much time in her own bed. Cat turned herself around and her breath hitched in her throat at the sight.

Her eyes scanned the pale, naked back before her. She knew she was leering, but she watched as Jade scooted over to the dresser and picked out a bright green bra. She watched as she saw the muscles rippling underneath the porcelain skin as the moved and slipped it on. Prominent shoulder blades and a thin waist, and yet not so thin that she looked emaciated. Jade had a curvier figure, and Cat couldn't help but notice just how beautiful she looked.

It was after Jade had put on a t-shirt and started to take off her pants that Cat made some noise. "G'morning Jadey," she sang, sitting up in the bed and rubbing her eyes as if she had just woken up rather than spent the last five minutes at staring at Jade in a state of undress.

Jade didn't turn around. "Jade. Not Jadey."

"Okay," Cat said with a smile. Jade's words didn't have the bitter bite to them that they had always had before, and that she learned that Jade has when talking with… most anyone else. Jade rarely was anything but kind to Cat, and Cat felt like that just showed another layer of Jade's complex personality. A later that was probably buried so deep beneath the callous exterior and biting words that it probably hasn't seen the light of day very often.

"So you're taking me shopping today?" Cat asked, getting up out of the bed and making her way to the door.

"That's the plan."

Cat's face grew incredibly excited and her voice even lifted an octave higher than usual. "Yay!" she exclaimed, her words light and airy. "I _love_ shopping."

Jade didn't say anything. She waited as Cat paused for just a short moment before heading out of the room to get dressed.

After coffee for Jade and a quick breakfast for Cat, Jade asked her mother for a credit card and they drove towards the store.

Jade had no idea what she was getting herself into when she had agreed to let the redhead redecorate. Instantly, it was as if their cart was being taken over by fluffy, frilly rainbows. A bright yellow bookcase. A floor lamp with a feathery, pink lampshade. A purple shag carpet. Mirrored decals to stick to the wall that were in the shape of butterflies. What appeared to be a string of twinkling, pink Christmas lights to hang across the ceiling. Blue zebra print curtains. Nothing even really seemed to match.

She looked up and saw that Cat was laughing. Like, really laughing. The type of laughing that makes your whole body shake and your eyes sparkle. It was cute, except there wasn't anything that funny.

"What?" Jade snapped, curiously eyeing the other girl.

Cat's laughing didn't let up. "Your face," she said. Her giggles broke up the words. "You looked at the cart and you just scrunched up your eyebrows and your nose wrinkled a little bit. It was funny. You don't like any of this stuff, do you." Her words were said more like a statement than like a question.

Jade shrugged. It was nothing even remotely close to what Jade would have picked out for her own room, but she couldn't help but think that everything in the cart was just so perfectly Cat.

And they managed to keep the furniture under their budget.

With the furniture all done, they only had paint left. Seeing the furniture, the idea of painting the walls to _try_ to match made Jade a little woozy. You can only do so much color at once, and yet right now, the trunk of her car looked like a rainbow threw up.

They sat in the car in almost complete silence, listening to the soft melody of one of Jade's favorite songs.

"Jadey?" Cat asked suddenly. Jade sighed, but didn't say anything as she looked over at the girl. "Do you believe in love at first sight?"

Jade looked away and faced forward. She thought of the countless pages of poetry she's read, the accounts told in the stories she adored, and the hundreds of songs written that were devoted to the subject. She thought of her own experiences. While she believed that the thought that there was pure romance like that was beautiful, she knew that the concept of love at first sight was complicated.

"Maybe," she said, being more honest than she had been with anyone in a very long time. "I believe that we can be drawn to someone at first sight of them, but we can't fall in love with them that instantly. To be in love means to really know someone."

Cat nodded, seeming to be happy with Jade's answer. "Are you in love with Beck?" she asked.

"I love him," Jade said firmly. She didn't look at Cat, but from her corner of her eye she saw as Cat moved her head to turn to look out the window.

"That's not the same thing," she mumbled.

Jade didn't respond.

They pulled up to the hardware store and went inside. Jade stood back with her arms crossed, leaning against a wall as Cat looked at rows upon rows of paint swatches.

Jade felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and smiled at a text from Beck asking where she was. She texted him back, telling him to meet her in the coffee shop nearby.

"Kay, Cat," Jade said, getting the redhead's attention. Cat turned around with arms full of vibrantly colored swatches, and Jade inwardly groaned. "I'm gonna be right back. You stay there and look at all the pretty colors."

Cat smiled widely. "Kay kay," she sang. Jade gently shook her head and rolled her eyes as she turned away.

The coffee shop was literally at the end of the block, so Jade left her car in the hardware store parking lot and just walked there. She was reaching for the door when she saw Beck's car pull into the lot.

"Hey babe," he greeted, stepping out of the car and giving her a kiss on the cheek. "How's life treating you."

Jade shrugged. "To badly to be good, but too good to be painfully entertaining." Beck chuckled at her cynicism. She went to go take a seat, leaving him to buy them coffees.

He knew how Jade took hers. Black. Two sugars.

He set her coffee down in front of her and took a seat. "So what are you doing at the hardware store?" he asked, taking a sip of his own vanilla late.

Jade took a long sip of her own coffee, feeling the warmth spread through her. If Jade closed her eyes and really focused on it, she was sure that she could feel the caffeine start to flow through her blood, waking everything up.

"Promised Cat I'd help her redecorate her room," Jade explained. Beck opened his mouth to respond, but his PearPhone vibrated against the table. He picked up the phone and smiled.

"Who's that?" Jade asked.

"Tori." His smile didn't fade as he started typing out a response.

"Why are you texting Vega?"

He looked up at her and quirked an eyebrow just as Jade noticed how angry her voice was. Sometimes she snapped out words more harshly than she intends to.

"You jealous?" he asked.

At this, Jade felt her heartbeat quicken and her breathing start to get shorter. "Do I have a reason to be?" Her voice was calm and even.

Beck knew this wasn't a good thing. For Jade, calm and even meant that she very well could be two seconds away from a psychotic meltdown.

"She's just a friend," Beck exclaimed.

"Yes," Jade said, dragging the word out like taffy. "An incredibly attractive friend."

"Why are you doing this?" He asked, rolling his eyes. "You're over reacting."

She shook her head. "No. I believe that I am reacting in a very appropriate manner when I find out that my _boyfriend_ is blatantly texting his _lady friend_ whilst sitting directly in front of me."

"So now I can't text Tori?"

"Not if you're cheating on me."

Beck groaned. "You can't do this all the time to me, Jade." His voice rose louder than he usually talks, especially since Beck isn't the type to yell. "You can't constantly dictate my life. It's driving me crazy."

"What drives me crazy is that you are constantly going around and flirting with other girls," Jade countered. "You flirt with every girl who will give you the time of day. You do that little hair flip and bat your freakishly long man eyelashes, and you have every girl swooning. And I've seen you check out Vega on more than one occasion."

"You know what, YEAH!" he said, his voice finally peaking at what could be considered a yell. "I _do_ check out Tori. Because I think Tori is _hot_. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

Jade's eyes dug deep into his, but he didn't back down. Beck saw pain and hurt in her eyes as she tried to keep them steady and stoic, and Beck tried to act as if he didn't care.

"Are we breaking up for real right now?" she asked. Even she was surprised at how calm her voice was being.

"Yeah Jade," he said with a sigh. "I think we are. I think it's time."

Jade ran a hand through her hair, imagining her mother comforting her when she was younger. "Okay," she said. And then, without so much as another glance, Jade was out the door and on her way back to the hardware store.

Spotting Cat wasn't hard. The girl's hair was basically a giant neon sign that would point her out in any crowd. Jade walked up to her and wiped at the tears that managed to escape down her cheek and tried to make herself look completely put together, but with one look at Cat, she had known she had failed. She watched as the little girl's face fell and worry etched itself across her features.

"Jadey," she whispered. "What's wrong?"

"I'm fine."

Cat frowns. "You don't look fine."

Jade harshly spits out. "I'm fine, okay. Just drop it. Nothing I can't handle on my own. What do you care anyway?"

There she went again. Jade instantly regretted her words; something she doesn't admit to too often. She was harsh. Before she could even attempt to spit out some sad excuse for an apology, Cat's full lower lip was already beginning to quiver and tears began to well up in her eyes. Jade couldn't think of anything else but to pull the small, sad girl into a tight an exceptionally uncharacteristic embrace.

Cat didn't hug her back, but at least she didn't push Jade away.

"Sorry," Jade mumbled. "Sometimes, well, I guess most of the time, I say some pretty fucking hurtful things, even when I don't mean to. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."

Cat separated herself from Jade and pulled at the sleeves of her sweatshirt so they covered her hands and used them to wipe at the tears resting on her face. She looked up into Jade's green eyes. "Why are you even apologizing?"

"Because I guess I care about you," Jade said. "That first day that you showed up, I promised I'd take care of you. Remember? And I know that I'm pretty fucking horrible at showing it, but I actually do like you. I don't _enjoy_ hurting your feelings, even though it seems like I do it a lot.

Cat shook her head and chuckled lightly. "That doesn't even make sense. You're not supposed to be mean to the people you care about."

Jade smiled at her weakly, seeing that the girl seemed to be accepting her apology. "Come on," Jade said. "Let's buy this paint. What colors did you pick?"

"Lime green, fuchsia, teal, bright purple and like a highlighter yellow." Cat laughed as Jade cringed.

"_All_ of them?" Jade asked. "At _once_?"

"I have an idea," Cat insisted. "Just trust me."

Jade rolled her eyes, but she paid for them all.

Halfway back to the house, Cat turned to Jade. "Why were you crying?" she asked. Jade felt her eyes on her body.

"Beck and I broke up," she said. "I left to go meet up with him, and we had another fight, and we broke up."

"I'm sorry," Cat whispered.

"Don't be. It's fine. I'll live."

They set the containers of paint in Cat's room and made a plan to start painting the next day right after school. So, they went downstairs to eat dinner and prepare for bed.

Late into the night though, Cat awoke with a start. Her mind seemed to be playing on loop.

_"You brought this on yourself," her father spat. Cat crawled into the corner of the living room, trying to make herself as small as she could. She closed her eyes and tried to pretend like she wasn't there, but it was no use. She would be able to feel her father's looming presence even with her closed lids._

_He stuck his foot out and kicked her sharply in the chin. Cat suppressed her whimper. "It's because you're bad," he explained. "Why can't you just behave? Why can't you just do the things I tell you?"_

_He grabbed the closest thing he could find. It was a small metal elephant that Nona had given her mother as a housewarming present. It was supposed to give good luck, but now Cat saw it coming straight at her. Instinctually, she wrapped her hands around her head and ducked her head into her lap to protect herself, but there was nothing to stop him from repeatedly hitting her in the body with the metal elephant with all his strength. Cat felt the sharp stabbing sensation over and over again until it felt like her entire body had gone numb, short of the telltale trickle of blood she felt running down her back._

_"You get what you deserve, bitch," he spat. He tossed the elephant at her once more before storming away._

Cat slipped out of her own bed, clutching desperately onto her pink stuffed elephant. Her heart beat seemed to beat through her entire body as she tiptoed across the hall and slowly opened the door to Jade's room.

She had expected the room to be quiet. She had expected Jade to be asleep. She hadn't expected Jade's body to be shaking with silent sobs as she cried into the pillow.

Cat didn't say anything as she walked further into the room and shut the door behind her. She knew that Jade had heard her, but neither said a word. Cat didn't ask if Jade was okay, because she knew that the taller girl would just scoff and tell her to go away.

Instead, Cat wordlessly crawled into the bed. It was warm from Jade's body heat, and it was welcome as it washed over Cat's chilled body.

Cat didn't say anything. Instead, she wrapped her arms around Jade as best she could and placed a kiss against the pale skin of her neck. Cat felt Jade's body stiffen in her arms. Cat kissed her again, lips against the warmth of Jade's skin. With a kiss to the cheek, and then to the temple, Cat found herself almost on top of Jade, holding the taller girl in her arms. She could feel Jade's heartbeat.

Cat kissed Jade's eyes closed, tasting the saltiness of her tears against her lips. And then, Cat's lips were on Jade's, and she felt Jade's entire body jump. But Jade didn't pull away.

When Cat did, she could see Jade's eyes reflecting in the moonlight spilling in through the window. Her breathing was ragged. Her eyes were wild.

"Cat," she whispered, but Cat didn't allow for it.

"Shh.." she said, shaking her head. She shifted herself so that she was even with Jade, lying beside her on the bed.

Jade's mind starting running in circles. She still felt the ghost of Cat's kiss lingering on her lips. She felt as if her stomach was going to erupt in butterflies and her heart was going to beat out of her chest.

Cat had kissed her.

The thought barely even had time to settle in her mind fully before Cat snuggled herself into Jade, her warm body fitting remarkably well against her own, as if it were two puzzle pieces being put together. Jade felt the other girl's nose nuzzle into the grove of her neck, a small hum of absolute contentedness slipping past Cat's lips.

Cat's eyelids fell heavily closed, but that was okay, because her world spun less when she was only facing the darkness behind her lids rather than having to focus on keeping the world balanced.

Jade's eyes remained open as she tentatively snaked an arm around Cat's thin waist, knowing that this was going to be a sleepless night with nothing but racing thoughts.

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**Tada! i imagine that there were people waiting for that to happen.**

**Reviews make me happy :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**yay! another chapter. and i'm so glad for the positive comments about the kiss. i'm not kidding when i say that your reviews make me smile. i love you all.**

**So, recently, i got a message from StolenProdigy about asking for help with another Cade story that she has been writing, called _And CUT!_. The idea is great, and i'm really happy to be working on her story with her, so go ahead and check it out.**

**this chapter also kind of suggests at something more of Cat's past. I do want to keep this story at a T rating (even though it's riddled with profanities) so i won't want to go into too much detail regarding her flashbacks about it. But if you do think that i start venturing into the M catagory, please let me know so i can change it accordingly.**

**Enjoy :)**

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The alarm clock sitting on Jade's bedside table was set for 6am. Jade, however, was out of bed by 3am. It was a restless night. She could make herself shut her eyes, but sleep wouldn't come. It was like her brain wouldn't shut off. So instead, she went downstairs and started the coffee machine.

The very scent of the coffee as it wafted through the kitchen was like medicine to the body and mind.

But her mind wouldn't stop. It would slow down from time to time, giving her just a tiny moment to breathe, but then it'd jump start again.

She thought of last night. When she and Cat were lying in bed and Cat held her close, showering her in sweet kisses, everything felt fine, even though it wasn't. Of course it wasn't. She was crying.

She dated a guy who was right for her. Like, really right. Beck put up with her shit, which is a lot more than she could say for most anyone else. He was sweet to her even when she was a bitch. He accepted her apologies. He loved her despite her faults. You don't just go and throw away a relationship that you've had for as long as you can remember. It's been almost three years.

She should be focusing on how she should go apologize to Beck because he was just so perfect for her, but she can't. Because all she can think of is the firework that exploded within her gut when Cat kissed her. And she knows that Cat felt it too.

Jade took her coffee, drank most of the cup, and then began to rummage through the kitchen in search of a notepad and a pen.

The alarm clock sounded and Cat woke up to an empty bed. The moment her eyes opened, she felt a smile tugging at her lips. Lips. Those very lips that not too long ago kissed Jade.

Cat turned off the alarm clock and went about her morning routine, getting showered and dressed with a little more skip in her step than usual.

"Morning," she sang as she danced her way into the kitchen. Mr. West had already left for work while Mrs. West was packing her purse and about to head out the door. Cat saw how Jade's arm jumped where it was pouring herself a cup of coffee, but Jade didn't turn around.

"Good morning Catarina," Mrs. West said with a wide grin. "Please. Make yourself some breakfast. I've gotta head out. You girls have fun in school." And with that, she hurried out the door.

Cat went over to the fridge to make herself a little fruit salad, and Jade grabbed a sheet of paper that was sitting on the counter and walked right passed her and out of the room. "We're leaving in ten," she said. Her voice was cold and harsh.

The ride to school was painfully quiet. Every question Cat asked was completely ignored. She knew that Jade was deliberately trying to separate herself. School was going to be just as painful.

Cat didn't have the time to catch up with Jade before the girl was already storming up to the building. Cat wasn't in any hurry though. She fixed up her outfit and made sure her backpack was zipped and her PearPhone tucked carefully into her boot before she herself started to walk from the parking lot and towards the main entrance.

"Cat!" she heard. She turned around to see Beck hurrying towards her. Beck. The boy who had made Jade cry last night.

Cat smiled at him weakly.

He held out a coffee in from of him. "Give this to Jade," he said. "It's how she likes it. Don't worry."

Cat took the coffee from him and frowned. "Why?"

"I used to get her coffee every morning. She needs it." He laughed, "I've learned the hard way that Jade is even _more_ of a bitch then usual without her morning coffee. I used to think that she was born with anger flowing through her, but I learned that I was wrong. It's coffee running through her veins instead of blood."

Cat's frown didn't falter. "But why are you giving me coffee to give to her?"

Beck's smile however, did. He ran his hand through his hair and sighed, "Because she won't take if from me."

"Because you broke up?"

Beck's lips formed a thin line before he nodded and walked away, leaving Cat in the parking lot. When she walked into the building, she spotted Jade by Tori's locker. She, Tori, Andre and Robbie were looking at Trina. As Cat walked closer, she noticed why.

Trina had her headphone on and she stood in the hallway, dancing from her waist up. The gang's faces all ranged from confusion, shock, and complete disbelief.

Cat walked up and watched Trina's spastic movements. She tapped the older girl on the shoulder, and with a dramatic eye roll, Trina removed the headphones and stared at her.

"You're a really good dancer," Cat said blankly. Jade eyed her curiously.

Instantly, Trina's annoyance dissipated. She smiled and flipped her hair over her shoulder confidently. "I know," she said. Jade almost gagged at the smugness that fell off the older girl's tongue. "But you should see me when I'm _really_ dancing. My feet were barely even moving just now."

"That was the best part," Cat said a smile, and Jade tried her hardest to fight back a laugh.

Trina's face contorted in confusion and she looked like she was about to say something, but the bell rang and cut her off.

"Goody!" Cat sang, clapping her hands. "Time to go to class." She was about to skip off when she remembered the coffee in her hand. She held it out to Jade, who eyed her suspiciously. Cat gave her a wink and Jade's face flushed red. She took the coffee and stormed away as Cat skipped in the opposite direction.

Throughout the day, Jade kept reaching into her pocket and fiddling with the folded piece of paper. Images of Cat raced through her mind at the most inopportune times. She couldn't even pay attention to her favorite Shakespearian sonnet being read aloud in her English class because she kept thinking of a particular redhead and the feel of her lips.

At lunch, Jade stepped out the door as a strong wind blew across the Asphalt Café and Jade laughed bitterly in her mind, thinking that her life had suddenly turned into a dramatic movie complete with wind effects.

Lunch was uncomfortable. Cat and Jade sat beside each other. Cat would say things to Jade that were ignored. Jade would be able to feel Cat's eyes on her, and she struggled to keep her gaze upon her food or basically anywhere else other than the chocolate brown eyes that made her melt. She made a conscious effort to make sure that her arm never brushed against Cat's.

At the same time, Beck sat opposite of the two of them. By the end of second period, word had spread around the school that Hollywood Arts' "It" couple had broken up, and probably for good this time.

To say that there was a general feeling of uneasiness at the lunch table would be an understatement.

As soon as the bell rang signaling that lunch had come to an end, Jade instantly shot up out of her seat and started walking away.

"Jade!" Cat called. She walked a little faster to catch up and stuck her hand out to grab Jade's. Instantly, Jade recoiled.

"Don't _touch_ me!" she yelled. Cat jumped back and panic flashed behind her eyes like a neon sign, but she kept composed.

"Can we talk?"

Jade turned around and started walking away. "What about?"

"Last night," Cat explained, walking quickly beside Jade, trying to match her stride for stride. It's not exactly easy to keep up with a girl who was about six inches taller than she.

Jade threw Cat a sideways glance and sighed. "Cat, we have to stop and think rationally about this."

Cat smiled, "I'm never rational."

"Yeah but I am," Jade snapped. She stepped up to her locker and fiddled with the lock until it opened, and she began getting her books for her next class.

Cat gave an exasperated sigh and Jade was surprised at the air of annoyance that the typically sweet-as-apple-pie girl could express.

"Rational about what Jade?" She asked. "About how you don't think of me as anything more than someone living in your house? I know I'm not the only one who feels the things I feel. I know you do to. But you want to be _rational_ and stay away from the crazy girl with a crazy past."

"Cat," Jade said softly. "This has nothing to do with your past. I don't care about your past. Your past doesn't define you. And I don't think you're crazy."

"So what do you need to be _rational_ about?"

She sighed. "Cat, I'm not… but you're a… and this is all so…"

She couldn't bring herself to say the words and hoped that Cat could read between what little she had voiced.

"I get it Jade. I really do. But you can't ignore it forever"

Cat walked away and left Jade standing in the basically empty hallway. Jade felt a wave of frustration building up inside of her and she picked up a random book from her locker and tossed it across the hall with all her might. She felt a calm rush through her at the comforting clang the hard cover made with the metal of someone's locker, but it wasn't enough to completely relieve the redness Jade felt. She stormed through the hallway and into her safe haven that was the Janitor's closet.

She wasn't in there for a full two minutes before she heard the door open. She had her back to it and turned around to see who was disturbing her peace.

Jade hated the pang of disappointment she felt when she didn't see a flash of red hair.

Instead Tori stood in the doorway, mouth agape. She shut the door behind her and continued to stare at Jade in shock.

"Oh my god!" she whispered.

Jade groaned. "What do you want Vega? You better have a good reason for barging in here like this when I obviously _don't_ want to be with _you_."

"You like Cat!"

It felt like the world had stopped spinning and everything came to a crashing halt. Jade had focused completely on the words that had escaped Tori's lips and it was as if she forgot how to breathe and her heart no longer beat. And then, it all came rushing back at Jade a little too fast. Her heart threatened to beat out of her chest and she felt as if she was hyperventilating to the point of near unconsciousness.

"What?!" she snapped. She hated the way her voice rose an octave higher than it usually was.

"I overheard you and Cat," Tori admitted.

"Oh, so you were _eavesdropping_?"

"I wasn't trying to listen," Tori explained, "I was just at my locker and happened to have been able to hear what you were saying."

Neither girl said anything for a moment.

"Is this why you and Beck broke up?" Tori asked.

"No," Jade said with a chuckle. "We actually broke up over a fight about you."

"Me?"

"Yeah. He said that he thought you were hot and he checked you out and whatever, and then me, being the insanely jealous girlfriend that I am, kinda flipped out."

Tori nodded. "So you still love Beck."

Jade shrugged. "He was my first everything. I don't think it's possible not to love him."

"But you like Cat." Tori asked the words carefully, knowing that she was treading across dangerous waters.

She had expected Jade to snap at her. To throw something. Maybe even to scream at her with wild eyes and tell her to get out of her Janitor's closet.

She didn't expect Jade to sigh, lean her head back on the wall and close her eyes as a single tear slid down her cheek.

The very sight of the vulnerability made Tori's heart ache.

"How can I have feelings for someone before I even had the chance to fall out of love with Beck?" Jade asked as bitter tears began to flow more freely. Tori sat down on the floor beside her.

"Feelings are a funny thing, Jade." Tori had no clue how to comfort the taller girl, but she was determined to try.

Jade groaned. "Is that your attempt at advice?"

Tori smiled sheepishly and took a seat beside Jade on the ground. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Nope." Jade popped the P as if that would emphasize her point.

Tori nodded slowly. "Do you want me to leave?"

Jade slowly shook her head no, and the two of them sat on the floor of the janitor's closet in silence.

Cat was walking through the halls at school when Robbie stopped her on the staircase. "Hey Cat, wait up!" he called. She turned around to see him with Rex in his arms, trying to catch up to her.

"Hey Robbie," she said. "What's up?"

"Well, I was actually wondering if you would go out on a date with me?"

Cat bit her lower lip. "Robbie, I don't think that's a good idea."

Rex laughed and Robbie told him to shut up.

"Why not?" he asked.

"No offence, Robbie, but you're really not my type."

"You hang out with Jade all the time and you seem totally fine with her and her rude self, but you won't go out on a single date with me." He seemed so hurt by the thought that Cat would choose someone like Jade over spending what would probablya quiet evening with Robbie.

Cat shrugged. "I like hanging out with Jade. She's nice."

Robbie snorted. "Jade _nice?_ You've gotta be kidding me. I've known Jade for years, and I've learned that she has two moods. Angry, or pissed off."

Cat frowned. "You're not being very nice."

"Neither are you. You won't go out on a date with me."

Cat started to turn around and walk away, but Robbie reached out and grabbed her wrist. "One date," he insisted.

"Please let me go," Cat whispered.

"Just let me try to prove myself worthy. One date." His grip on her wrist tightened.

_Cat cried. "You're hurting me daddy." The man's grip on her wrist tightened. She felt as if her fingers were turning cold from lack of circulation._

_"You're not going to run away from me," he spat. Cat could smell the liquor on his lips. He was so incredibly close to her that she could feel the heat emanating from his body._

_"I promise I won't run," she sniffled. "Just please. Let go of me." But he didn't, he only twisted her arm up sharply to above her head, and Cat cried out. He moved closer to her and roughly ran his hand over her clothes-covered stomach._

_"Such a shame that a pretty body was wasted on a bitch of a daughter like you. You're going to be beautiful when you get older, but no one is going to want someone like you. You screw up everything." His hand started toying with the hem of her shirt while his other hand tightened its grip even more so on her wrist._

_"You're hurting me" she cried. She cried louder, but her father only laughed._

Jade heard a familiar cry and was instantly on her feet. She opened the closet door and saw Cat, crawled up into a ball on the floor of the hallway and Robbie standing, staring at the girl in shock. Cat had her eyes tightly closed and she was rocking back and forth, crying and repeating the words, "you're hurting me," over and over again.

"What did you do?" Jade hissed at Robbie as she stormed over. He cowered in fear away from the intimidating girl.

"I asked her on a date," he answered. Jade sensed Tori approach, but she didn't move her gaze off of Cat.

"If the situation wasn't so dire, I'd comment about how you asking a girl out made her have a panic attack," Jade snapped. She slowly lowered herself onto her knees and scooted closer to Cat.

"Cat?" she asked, her voice soft and gentle. "Cat it's me. Jadey. I'm here. No one is hurting you."

Cat's crying lowered to a soft whimper, but she didn't open her eyes. Jade moved a little bit closer.

"Cat," she said again. "Open your eyes. Come back to me. I'm here." She slowly reached her arms out and enveloped the girl in a secure embrace. At first, she felt Cat's body stiffen, and then slowly start to relax, but her eyes were still tightly shut.

"Can I read you something?" Jade asked in a soft whisper. Cat didn't answer, but Jade reached into her pocket and pulled out the paper she had been writing on early in the morning and read aloud.

"Ask me not the questions why, because the answer is not within me. Not even I could tell you why my heart beats for you so. Neither you or I could ever explain why a daemon heart like mine can mesh with angel blessed, and cause a warmth that my soul hath not seen. A warmth my soul denied the existence of."

She knew that Robbie and Tori were watching, but Jade continued to read the poem she had penned.

"For you, the angel, so pained in past life have entered mine and caused a change. But is change what I long for? Is this a change for which I am ready? Many questions flood my mind and yet none is accompanied by an answer. And yet, without an answer, all seems fine."

Jade looked away from the crumpled paper and at the redhead who was basically laying against Jade's entire body. Jade looked deep into the soft brown eyes and felt as if she was getting lost in pools of melted chocolate. Every second she spent staring into those eyes reminded her of the feeling of soft lips on hers. It was hypnotic. It was as if Cat was a drug and Jade was hooked.

"Did you write that about me?" Cat asked. Cat looked up at Jade and understood. Cat wasn't very smart about history or math, but she was smart about people. Behind Jade's stony exterior, she saw the feelings. She saw that Jade cared about her, but that she was afraid to voice it. She saw that Jade did not want to admit that she may not be as strong as everyone thought she was. She saw that Jade was afraid of admitting the truth.

The truth being that she was starting to fall for a one Miss Catarina Valentine.

Jade nodded slowly and Cat paused for a minute.

Cat bit her bottom lip and looked deep into Jade. "If I kissed you, would you slap me?"

Jade's eyes opened wider, but she shook her head no, and Cat didn't hesitate.

This kiss was nothing like their first. This was like rainbows exploding and an orchestra playing in the background. This kiss made Jade feel like she was melting. It was everything that musicians, writers, playwrights, and poets had ever penned, and everything Jade had always thought to be a fairytale.

But she was living this fairytale. She was living it with Cat.

She pulled away and smiled as she looked at Cat's face, taking in every last detail. She wanted to remember the dimples on her left cheek, the twinkle in her eye, and the way that her lips were formed into an adorable smile.

She wanted to remember this perfect moment.

Or at least, it would have been perfect had it not been for Tori beginning to clap and Robbie's gasp of "holy shit."

Cat giggled, and Jade found it within herself to forgive him.

* * *

**So it may seem like all is happy fairytale rainbows in the land of Cade right now, but don't let looks fool you. There is drama to be brewing. The next chapter will include another visit to Dr. Lovely and Jade having a conversation with Angela. Lots to be revealed.**

**Also, i hope you all like the little poem Jade wrote about Cat. i have no problems writing poetry, but i thought Jade seemed like someone who would be deeper than i am, and possibly a little more oldschool with her writing style. something victorian and shakespearian-type language, you know?**

**Also, in case you can't tell, i don't particularly like Robbie very much. And i'm guessing you all can see what i'm hinting at about Cat's past. I definitly want to revisit this again, especially in her visits with Dr. Lovely and when it comes to the furthering of her relationship with Jade, but i know that i'm treading dangerous waters here. On one hand, i really want to go forward with it and just write everything that comes to my mind, but i also want to remain at a T rating for this story. So, we'll see how it unfolds.**

**Reviews make me happy :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi again! So, i've really been thinking about this story a lot lately. Some people had expressed the idea that they thought the whole relationship part of it was just moving way too fast to be considered realistic. When i write, i tend to see individual scenes, and then i try to shove it all together into something remotely cohesive. So, i have quite a few scenarios in mind that i want to play into the story before anything is decided finally.**

**That being said, the relationship isn't going to be without a rollercoaster ride before hand. Give it some time and see what exactly i've got brewing in my head lol.**

**Also, this chapter includes a couple switches in view point between Cat and Jade, because i immagined these two scenes happening simultaniously.**

**And, at the end, there's another flashback. I feel like i'm totally pushing the envelope with the T rating. But i'm not saying anything. Everything is implied, but nothing is said outright, you know?**

**Oh well. haha enjoy :)**

* * *

Cat was to be excused from the last two classes of her day to go to an appointment with Dr. Lovely. She wasn't exactly too fond of seeing the doctor. But then again, who liked going to the shrink?

No one likes to be psychoanalyzed. No one wants someone digging around in their subconscious. They always ask questions that Cat doesn't want to answer.

The moment Cat takes a seat on the couch, Dr. Lovely smiles at her and begins the game.

"So Cat," she said kindly. "How has school been going for you?"

"Great," Cat admitted. "I really like it at Hollywood Arts."

Dr. Lovely nodded and wrote some things down on a notepad. "And life at the Wests?"

"It's wonderful. Mr. and Mrs. West are so incredibly sweet to me, and Jade and I have really clicked."

"That's wonderful to hear. So what would you like to talk about today?"

"Aren't you the shrink?" Cat asked. She knew that most psychologists hated the word, but it was just so much shorter to say.

Instead of correcting her, Dr. Lovely just smiled. "Okay. Well, I was hoping we could talk about your parents a bit. Your biological parents."

Cat frowned. "What about them? You're holding my file. You know everything."

"Yes. But I wanted to hear it from you."

Cat sighed and looked blankly at her hands folded in her lap. It wasn't exactly a story she liked telling. "They were mean," she said. "They hit me. I always knew that I was a little different than the other kids. My mom never showed me how to tie my shoes or zip up my jackets. Half the time I went to school without a jacket. I needed the teacher to show me. If I accidently spilled something, my daddy would make me lick it up off the floor, saying that we weren't going to be wasting food just because I'm stupid and had to spill it. And then other times he wouldn't give me food at all. I was always really skinny as a kid. And they would hit me when I wet the bed."

Dr. Lovely nodded and wrote some more things down before reading over the file again. "It says here that your previous psychologist said that you continued to wet the bed with age. Do you still?"

"Sometimes," Cat answered softly. "But I wear special underwear at night. The psychologists always told me that I'd grow out of it eventually, but I never did."

"It's true that in most cases, the child grows out of it as they age, but there are some events that are so traumatic that the child never fully recovers from them."

Cat nodded, understanding what the doctor was implying.

"So enough of the bad," Dr. Lovely said. "Let's refocus on some things that are a bit more positive. What types of things do you like to do?"

"Uhh.. I like to draw. Jade promised me that we would paint my room soon. We haven't done it yet though. Maybe someday soon. We already bought all the paint and the furniture. I like to sing and dance."

"And these things make you happy?" Cat nodded.

"What about people?" Dr. Lovely asked.

Cat thought for a moment. There was a time that she had never even registered the fact that certain people could make her feel happy. To her, people hurt her in so many ways that it was hard to picture anyone making her feel anything as positive.

But now, the truth was that over the past week, there had been times where she had felt something kind of like happiness floating around inside of her.

"Jade," she said, smiling gently. "Jade makes me happy."

* * *

After school let out, Jade drove back to her house. She was just pulling into the driveway when she saw Angela's car pull up.

"Hello Jade," she called as she exited the car. Jade nodded her head in a form of a hello.

"Whatcha doing here?" she asked.

Angela held up a red folder. "I have some paperwork to drop off. Think you can get your mom to sign it tonight and tell her that I'll be back tomorrow to pick it up?"

"Yeah sure," Jade answered. "You uh… you wanna come inside? I can make you some coffee or whatever." She wasn't the type of person for hospitality, but she had an agenda. Angela was the only person who really knew the details of Cat's past, and Jade wanted to know herself.

"Sure," Angela said with a smile. "Coffee would sound nice."

They made their way into the house and Jade started the coffee pot before taking a seat at the kitchen table across from Angela.

"So what did you want?" the older woman asked. Jade furrowed her eyebrows.

"Why would you think that I wanted something from you?"

Angela laughed. "Jade. I've known you for years. I know that the only reason why you would ever invite me into your home to sit down and drink some coffee with you was if there was something on your mind. Now spill."

"How did Cat get into the foster system?"

"Jade," Angela said. "You know I can't just reveal people's pasts to you like that. Some things are personal. I can tell you that you are not her first foster family, but I can't tell you much beyond that. It's confidential."

"Angela," Jade sighed. "The girl is living across the hall from me. I'm not asking for the gritty, grimy details of her home life. I've kinda figured that out. But tell me about when you first met her."

"June," Angela sighed. "June of 2012. That's when I got a phone call from the LAPD about a girl in the juvenile detention center named Catarina Valentine, and that she needed to be put into a new foster home."

Jade's eyes opened wide in shock. "Juvie? Why was she there?"

"Her first foster home was in Santa Monica, not too far from where she grew up. They wanted her to continue attending the same school. But she ran away, saying that she was tired of it. The LAPD picked her up and placed her in the Juvenile Detention Center for three weeks until it became more than obvious that this sweet little 95 pound girl didn't need to be kept in a secure cell like that?"

"So then what?"

"I drove up there, and she was standing outside, waiting for me with a small bag and her stuffed giraffe. She was pale and her clothes hung from her body. IT was an oversized red sweater that hung all the way down past her knees, a pair of ripped pink leggings, and a pair of old, black converse.

"And then I saw her eyes. They were sad and broken, but there was all of this hidden strength behind that. She slipped into the back seat of my car and smiled at me, saying hello and introducing herself to me with this bubbly personality, like she was the happiest kid on the planet. I mean, I read her file. This wasn't at all like I was expecting her to be like."

"So she was always like this?" Jade asked, thinking back to her own reaction of the first time she had met Cat. The girl was everything that Jade never expected to see walking through her front door. That girl was all smiles and rainbows when most other kids and glares and despair.

"Not always," Angela admitted. "She was scared of things very easily. "The dark. People touching her. Loud noises. I remember that I called up the woman who she had stayed with before, and the woman said that one time after a shower, she had tried to blow-dry her hair, and Cat had nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound. And she was so afraid of saying anything or touching things. It was like she was constantly afraid that she was going to get in trouble for it.

"She was so quiet and polite. It took us forever to convince her that she was allowed to say the things on her mind. It was like she didn't know that she was allowed to talk."

"She probably wasn't," Jade grumbled.

* * *

"You had mentioned to past doctors that you frequently had nightmares," Dr. Lovely read. "Nightmares about what?"

"Oh," Cat looked back down at her hands. "They were just little flashbacks of when I was younger. But I've been having these nightmares for as long as I can remember. I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night, sweating, and my heart is beating fast."

"Do you still have these nightmares?"

"Not anymore," Cat said. She was surprised with how easily the lie slipped from her tongue.

Dr. Lovely nodded and wrote more in the notepad. Cat really wanted to know what was being written. "Have you had any other experiences that you find concerning?" the doctor questioned. "lapses in memory, panic attacks, things of that nature?"

"No," Cat said. "Sometimes when someone touches me unexpectedly I jump a bit, but not like crazy." It wasn't an outright lie. Cat didn't have lapses in memory or sudden panic attacks, but she didn't dare mention to the doctor the various flashbacks she had during the day.

"Has anything else been bothering you?"

"Nope," Cat said with her bubblegum smile, and the doctor just couldn't help but smile back.

* * *

"Do you worry about her?" Jade asked. She placed a mug of coffee in front of Angela and watched as the woman took a sip. Angela wasn't old. Far from it, actually. She looked to be no older than her early thirties. And yet, something in her eyes just seemed so aged. As if she had seen everything in the world; the good, the bad and the ugly.

Especially the ugly.

"Sometimes," she admitted. "Cat is a very special person. You've been spending quite a bit of time with her, so I'm sure you've noticed."

"What do you mean by special?"

"When she was very young, she suffered a severe hit to the head. Her brain was just developing. It has caused some cognitive delays and severe emotional issues, on top of the issues that would come from being in that situation alone. But Cat is very strong. She won't admit to you when there's something bothering her. I think that partly it's because she still has whatever her parents instilled in her mind that she's not allowed to speak the things she thinks, and she's still afraid of being reprimanded. So instead, she puts on her sweet smile and pretends like all is okay. She's physically there, but sometimes it's like she's emotionally distant. She retreats into herself."

Jade nodded. "Yeah. I've noticed. Do you, uh, think it will hinder her in regards to relationships? And friendships?"

"Cat has always easily connected with people because she's adorable and makes them smile. But she has problems with the physical, and with the emotional, and I think that all of her past may be a lot for a boyfriend to handle when Cat hasn't fully learned to handle it herself. I know that it's her life and that Cat thinks she's strong enough to take on the world, but I don't think now is the best time for a relationship for her. Why?" Angela asked. "Is there a boy in school she likes?"

Jade looked down at her hand, clamped tightly around the handle of the coffee mug. "Something like that," she mumbled.

Angela's cell phone beeped and she flipped it open. "Oh goodness," she exclaimed. "Look at the time!" She quickly drank the rest of her coffee and got up to put it in the sink. "It was wonderful chatting with you, Jade, but I really need to get going."

Jade stood up and walked the woman to the door. "Yeah sure whatever," she said. She noticed Angela give her a look, but said nothing. The moment the woman stepped through the front door, Jade slammed it shut so hard that the sound echoed through the empty house.

When Cat and Mrs. West came home, Mr. West was pulling into the driveway and Jade was already setting the table for dinner. Eggplant parmesan.

Every so often, she would glance up and look at Cat. Jade couldn't help the fact that she felt herself falling for the girl. Tori and Robbie knew, but she told them to not tell anyone until Jade was ready. She trusted Tori, and she knew that Robbie was so horrified of her that he wouldn't dare do anything she specifically told him not to.

Jade didn't want to go and have everything announced to the school before she had everything figured out herself. She had always found girls attractive, but she never saw it in the way that she was actually _interested_ in girls. And then, this one girl comes around and manages to throw Jade's world upside down in a week?

The moment she saw Cat standing in the foyer, she knew that there was something almost hypnotic about the girl, and she just wanted to know more. She could have never even guessed what she would be getting herself into with this one, though.

Thinking back to the things that Angela told her about when she had first met Cat, Jade tried to figure her out more. She noticed that Cat wasn't being very talkative unless directly spoken to. Angela had said that Cat sometimes forgot that she was allowed to speak freely. As soon as Cat finished eating, she excused herself from the table politely, and walked slowly to the kitchen and cleaned off the plates before sticking them in the dishwasher.

She turned and faced the Wests, still sitting at the table. "Thanks for the food. It was super yummy. But I'm really tired. I think I'm gonna go head to sleep."

"You feeling well Catarina?" Jade's mom asked. It was only 6pm, and the girl was already headed to bed.

"Yeah. I'm fine. I'm just exhausted is all."

"Okay," Mrs. West said. "Well, Mark and I are going to be leaving in about an hour. I have a meeting in Pasadena tomorrow, so we're driving out there. You guys gonna be okay alone for the night?"

"Yeah," Jade said. "We'll be okay."

Cat nodded and walked up the stairs.

She took a shower and dressed herself in her pajamas before sitting in her bed and looking through the photos in the box. She looked at photos of herself when she was tiny, seeing the false pretenses. Her parents were wealthy. The house was nice and big. They went on vacations all the time. Anyone looking in saw a wonderfully happy family.

But behind closed doors, life was hell. Looking through the pictures, the only sign of that is the false affection and the forced smiles.

By the time she put the photos away, the clock in her room read 11pm. She grabbed her giraffe and slowly walked across the hall to Jade's room and climbed into bed with the other girl. Jade was only partly asleep, and at the feeling of the dip in the bed, she wrapped her arm around the smaller girl. Soon enough, Cat's breathing evened out and she found herself drifting off as well.

_The sun was setting through her window, casting long shadows across her walls. She wished that someone could see into her bedroom and come save her. The rope tied around her wrist cut into her skin like a barbed wire. She watched the shadows grow longer and longer until they took over the room as night fell and the moon glowed in through the window._

_Her eyes were growing heavy. How long had she been tied up here? Hours? It had to have been. Cat felt her stomach contract so sharply with a hunger pang that she gasped at the sharpness. Her eyelids threatened to close, but she wouldn't dare fall asleep._

_There was noise downstairs. Her mother and father shouting. Her father's voice was growing closer and closer as heavy footsteps made their way up the stairs and down the hall towards her room. Cat's eyes were wide and she felt her heart jumping in her chest as if it was fighting its way free of the hell Cat forced it to endure._

_Like a scene from a slasher film, the bedroom door creeks open slowly and a foot stepped onto the plush carpet of her room. Her father came into the room and untied her, saying nothing. Cat watched, trying to forcibly calm her breathing as the ropes fell loosely around her._

_"Time for us to go to bed," he cooed, but Cat's empty stomach churned at his voice. He reached a hand out and grabbed a fistful of her bright red hair, and her eyes welled up with tears. She fought hard to not let a single one fall in fear of the consequences._

_When he brought his other hand down sharply against her stomach, Cat's mouth opened wide in a scream._

Jade awoke with a start, focused in on Cat, screaming wildly beside her. The clock read two in the morning. She had no clue what to do. Cat had never done anything like this before, and Jade was petrified. She tried to reach a hand out to comfort her, but the smaller girl jumped at the touch and fell from the bed.

She hit the ground with a loud thump that echoed throughout the empty house, and the screaming stopped.

Jade scrambled out of bed to turn on the light she check to see if Cat was okay. She was curled up in a ball, huddled close against the wall, slowly rocking back and forth on the floor with her eyes squeezed tightly shut.

For a moment, Jade wished that her mother was here with her. Not that her mother would know what to do exactly, but she wished she would give a helping hand. Instead, Jade was alone with Cat.

She slowly lowered herself until she was kneeling down on the floor, close to her but careful not to touch her again.

"Catarina," Jade said. Her voice was soft but loud. It was the first time that Jade used the girl's full name since that first day they met. "It's okay," she said. "It's me, Jade. You're safe. You're okay. I'm here."

She repeated the words over and over again until Cat stopped rocking and slowly opened her eyes. They darted around the room quickly in panic. Jade never stopped talking.

She reached a hand out slowly and placed a featherlike touch against Cat's bare knee. The frantic eyes quickly zeroed in and locked with Jade's.

"I'm here," Jade said again. She reached out and enveloped the girl in her arms, bringing Cat's head close to her own chest so that the other girl could hear Jade's heartbeat.

From the location on the floor, Jade couldn't quite see the alarm clock, but the feeling of her butt falling asleep acted as a signal of how long they were sitting on the floor like that. They remained in that position, legs tangled together and Cat's weight completely against Jade's thin but lion-like frame until Jade heard Cat's breathing even out and she was certain that the smaller girl had finally drifted off to sleep.

For a short moment, Jade pondered the possibility of her using her sheer strength to pick Cat up off the ground and carry her to the bed. Cat definitely weighed less than a hundred pounds. 95, maybe. But Jade realized she just didn't have the energy. She was exhausted. So instead, she rested her cheek against the top of Cat's head and let sleep take over.

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**See? Told you things weren't going to be all smooth sailing. I have quite a few things planned. The fact that y'all think this relationship is set in stone just means that i still have the ability to surprise you :)**

**Reviews make me smile :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**To the anon who asked: I don't want to give too much away. But i will say that everything has its ups and downs. Take from that what you wish.**

**But, i did say that there would be more drama, and that there would be a lot more stuff to put into the story before it even begins to be finished. just sit back and let the story play out. i promise that you'll be happy with the way it turns out. The road to the end game will be a bumpy one, but there is an end game in mind.**

**Enjoy :)**

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Jade spent the entire next day carefully watching Cat. She was still shaken up after the events of the night before, and Jade wasn't exactly the type to admit that something scared her. But the way that Cat seemed to zone out and have her mind take over like that was frightening to Jade.

During breakfast, after her parents had left for work, Jade approached Cat. "What was that?" she asked, her voice shaper than she had intended. "Last night.

Cat glanced up for only a moment and shrugged as she continued to pour herself a glass of orange juice. "A bad dream," she replied simply. He brought the glass to her glossed lips and took a long sip before saying, "I get those sometimes."

Jade hated the nonchalance in Cat's tone. The events of last night were not something to be nonchalant about. Cat seemed to have gone into a crazy trance. She screamed and didn't react to the people around her. It was as if she wasn't really there; just her body was. It was honestly horrifying.

And yet, here she was, talking about her _bad dreams_ as if she were talking about the light drizzle happening outside the window.

Jade bit down on the inside of her cheek in an attempt to hold in the slew of words that were threatening to spill out.

Sensing Jade's frustration, Cat set the glass down on the granite counter and put her hands on Jade's waist. "Its okay," she assured. "I'm fine." She lifted herself up onto her toes to place a kiss on Jade's lips, but Jade pulled away and Cat frowned, lowering herself back down to her feet.

"We can't do this," Jade said, taking a step back to further distance herself from the petite redhead.

"Can't do what?" Jade hated how small and broken Cat's voice sounded. It was as if Jade was physically hurting her; a thought that Jade could not stand.

"Us," Jade explained. "We can't do us."

Cat paused. "Because of last night?"

"Not only," Jade said. "I mean, you're obviously going through a lot right now, and I don't know if starting a relationship is really the best thing for you given the situation."

Cat's gaze lowered to her feet and her voice dropped to being barely louder than a whisper.

"You don't get to decide what's best for me." Even with her voice so quiet, Jade could feel the animosity.

"I know" she said. "But that's not everything. I mean, Cat, I'm not… I don't… I like guys."

"But you like me," Cat stated.

"I do," Jade agreed. "But I'm not gay, and this can't keep going on the way it is. Not now."

Cat's lower lip quivered for just a moment before she carefully regained her composure. Jade took in her beautiful features. Her plump lips holding back a frown. Her deep, brown eyes trying to fight back fears. The muscles behind her beautifully perfect face keeping every last inch of her a stoic statue.

"Ever?" She asked.

Jade paused. "I don't know, Cat." They stood like that, green eyes digging deep into chocolate brown, for what felt like hours. Days. Years. But in truth, couldn't have possibly been longer than twenty seconds.

Jade straightened herself out and glanced at the clock above the oven. "Be ready in ten minutes," she said.

In school, Jade realized just how much of a crazy stalker she was. Again, she looked everywhere for Cat. She made sure to keep that little redhead in her view at all times, when possible. She would look for a flash of bright magenta after every turn, scanning the crowds in the hallway until her target was spotted.

But she never approached Cat. No. Everything was to be done for a distance. Jade was trying hard to be sneaky about it, but it was pretty damn hard to be inconspicuous when you're Jadelyn freakin' West.

The hallways were usually packed with kids. All were singing or dancing or playing an instrument or something creative. People bumped into people. That's just what happened.

But one of the perks of being Jade West was that the crowds in the hallways parted before her. Normally, this made Jade smile. She knew she was at the top of the hierarchy. But right now, it wasn't helping the cause. Her damn popularity made her stick out even more than her normally head-to-toe black outfit would.

It made Jade wonder why she was just do afraid of letting people know that she might possibly be not as straight as she had originally thought. No one would ever have the balls to say anything to her face about it. She scared the shit out of most of the people in the school. And her classmates could talk and whisper about her as much as they wanted to behind her back. She didn't care. They could call her whatever stupid names they thought fit.

Besides, they lived in Hollywood. It's not like the idea of gay people was so outlandish in this town. Jade knew that there was nothing that could hurt her.

She was untouchable.

So why was she just so completely horrified about the very idea of it all?

The only class where Jade was able to keep an eye on Cat completely was Sikowitz's class. The two girls sat next to each other, but didn't say a word. When Cat was called up to the stage to participate in an acting exercise, Sikowitz told her to pick people to assist in the scene. He spoke even louder than usual to combat the sounds and voices of the construction occurring outside. Principal Eikner had decided to expand on the Asphalt Café, and you could occasionally hear the loud noises of the building.

"Tori, Andre, Beck and Robbie," she said. Jade crossed her arms in front of her chest and leaned back into her seat as she watched all of her friends perform.

Right at the end of the scene, Cat's eyes finally made their way to Jade's, but only for a split second. Yet, in that scratch of time, Jade felt so many emotions through Cat's eyes that it gave her chills.

Jade hated show she felt like her world was breaking when Cat's eyes tore themselves away.

The class clapped at the end of the scene, and Cat smiled widely. Then a loud bang roared from outside the window and Jade watched as Cat's face fell and her eyes turned to panic.

_Cat jumped at the sound. Her father threw a beer bottle against the wall. The glass shattered everywhere, leaving a puddle of alcohol all over the kitchen floor. He stepped closer to her and she could smell the alcohol on his breath._

Cat's vision returned to the sight of the class all staring at her.

"Are you alright?" Sikowitz asked. Cat only nodded shyly and took her seat beside Jade, trying her best to ignore the sharpness of Jade's eyes on her.

When the unusual bell rang, Cat picked up her backpack and turned to head out of the class. Jade quickly followed. For a moment, she contemplated just reaching out and grabbing onto Cat's wrist, but with Cat's habit of freaking out, Jade decided against it.

Instead, she used her height to an advantage and took long strides until she was in front of Cat and cut her off Cat skidded to a halt when Jade stood before her.

"What was that?" Jade asked. "And the nightmare. And in the kitchen. The burrito. Sikowitz's class on the first day."

Cat shrugged and fiddled with the strap of her backpack over her shoulder. "Jade," she whispered and looked around the hallway as if she was checking to see if there was anyone listening in.

"You're having flashbacks, aren't you." Jade's words were more of an observation than a question.

Cat shook her head. "No," she said. "I'm fine." Jade opened her mouth to say something else, but Cat just pushed beside her and walked quickly to her next class.

At the end of last period, Cat was already standing beside Jade's car, waiting. The car ride was awkwardly silent. Jade would glance over at Cat every so often, but the girl's eyes seemed to be glazed over in an absent expression.

The same went for the entire time they were home. Cat went upstairs to her room and locked the door. She didn't come out until Mrs. West called the girls down for dinner. And even then, at the table, Cat was basically mute apart from when she was asked a direct question. The moment she finished eating, she excused herself from the table and went upstairs.

An hour or so later, Jade went upstairs to prepare herself for bed as well.

She lay awake in her bed, eyes open and fixed on the darkened ceiling. Every so often, she would turn her head and look at the bright red numbers illuminated on her alarm clock. The minutes flew by, and soon minutes turned into hours. Jade waited for the soft pitter-patter of Cat's tiptoed steps coming across the hall and into her room, but for the first time since Cat came to stay with them, the footsteps never came.

The clawing sensation returned to Jade, and she hated it.

Cat must be mad at her. Cat must have been so upset with Jade that she wouldn't even come to sleep in the bed with Jade. Jade tried to convince herself of this, but there was something in the back of her mind that made her doubt it. On that day that Cat was scared of Jade after she choked that girl in the hallway, Cat still came into Jade's room that night.

Without even realizing it, Jade flipped her legs over the side of the bed and started walking towards the hallway and over to Cat's door. She gently put her hand on the doorknob, trying not to startle the girl who was probably asleep. Slowly, the pushed the door open and looked into the room, eyeing the bed. But the bed was made, and there was no Cat.

Jade felt her stomach drop and her blood run cold. She looked into the bathroom, but Cat wasn't there either. Jade ended up searching the entire house, and with every empty room, the nerves within her grew stronger.

Jade walked quickly to her front door and threw it open, feeling the chill of the night hit her body like daggers. It wasn't that Los Angeles was particularly that cold on an October night, but that Jade was wearing no more than a pair of men's boxers and a loose band t-shirt. She wasn't even wearing shoes. But none of that mattered as she walked up and down the street.

She didn't know what it was that she was hoping to accomplish. She had no idea where Cat could have gone. Jade closed her eyes and tried to think of where nearby Cat could have possibly gone. Images flashed through her mind, but one stood out more than the rest. Jade turned around and started walking in the opposite direction towards the playground down the block.

The woodchips felt like ice cubes under Jade's feet, but she kept moving forward, straining her eyes for any sight of Cat. She heard a ragged breathing coming from behind the swings accompanied by soft whispers. Jade thought for a moment that it might just be some homeless man, but the idea was tossed aside as a familiar sob met Jade's ears. She knew that Cat was there somewhere, wrapped up in the darkness.

Jade could just barely make out the petite silhouette of Cat, sitting on the ground in her pale pink footie pajamas, mumbling to herself. Jade walked over to her slowly, but stopped a couple of feet away to keep from scaring her, but Cat seemed to not even notice Jade.

The girl's body was shaking and sobs start raking her tiny body.

"Cat," Jade said. At the sound, Cat flinched and closed her eyes tightly.

"No!," she shouted. She began to shake her head back and forth quickly, her red hair whipping sharply against her face. "No, No! Daddy, leave me alone!" Her voice sounded so weak and broken.

"Cat," Jade said again. "It's me. Jade. You're safe. I'm here." Jade hoped that the words worked as magically again. She repeated them over and over again. Slowly, Cat's panic seemed to diminish. With every time that Jade repeated herself, she inched closer and closer to the shaking girl until she was no more than a step away.

Jade kept talking as she slowly lowered herself to the ground. Cat kept her eyes shut tightly, but she wasn't freaking out as much. Her breathing was still uneven and Jade saw her chest rising and falling quickly, but she wasn't shaking and sobbing. Jade continued to talk as she leaned forward and scooped Cat into her arms. Cat jumped slightly at the contact, but Jade just continued to talk to her.

"You're safe," Jade repeated. "I'm here."

Jade used all of the strength in her legs to lift herself up while clutching Cat close to her chest. Jade was grateful that Cat was that tiny. The girl couldn't have possibly weighed more than 95 pounds. Jade kept her close like that, constantly whispering reassuring nothings as she carried Cat three streets over to her house, up the stairs, and down the hall to Jade's bedroom.

Cat felt the world coming back to her and she opened her eyes, surprised to feel herself in Jade's arms and being placed gently on the bed. Jade lifted the bedspread to cover Cat, and was surprised to be met with wide brown eyes.

"You back?" Jade asked.

Cat frowned. "What do you mean?" she asked. "Where'd I go?"

Jade shrugged and chuckled, dark and bitter. "I don't know. Your body was at the park, but I have no clue where your mind was."

Cat moved her gaze away from Jade and onto her hands as she fumbled with the edge of the black comforter.

"Why do you keep taking care of me?" Cat asked. "You don't like me."

Jade sighed. "I _do_ like you. That's the problem." She stepped over to the bed and lowered herself into the covers alongside Cat.

"Why is that a problem?" Cat asked. "I like you. You like me."

Jade closed her eyes. "It's more complicated than that, Cat."

"No its not," Cat argued. "You only say it's complicated because you're _making_ it complicated."

Jade waited for a moment before turning herself on her side so that she was looking at Cat. Cat turned her eyes and met Jade's gaze.

"Do you have flashbacks?" Jade asked. Cat closed her eyes and the two fell into a silence. A long moment passed, and Jade had thought that Cat had fallen asleep. Jade closed her eyes as well before Cat's sweet whisper broke the silence.

"I like sharing a bed with you," Cat said. Her hushed voice danced around the room. "I usually don't have nightmares when I'm with you. When I sleep in my bed, I always get them. But with you, it's like you're scary enough to chase the nightmares away."

Jade smiled in the darkness.

"I never used to like sharing a bed with people though," Cat revealed. "Sometimes, my daddy would want to sleep in my bed with me. I didn't like that." With the moonlight fighting its way through the blinds, Jade could see Cat's face contort into a frown.

As soon as the words left Cat's mouth, Jade's mind began to put the bits and pieces together and she starts to form yet another picture of the life that Cat used to live.

That's what Jade's experience with Cat was. It was like she was given a puzzle with a whole bunch of pieces missing, and it was up to Jade to use what she saw of the broken puzzle to draw in what she thought the missing pieces were.

There really aren't any reasons that a man should ever share a bed with his preteen daughter, and that coupled with Cat's dislike or sharing bed's made Jade's stomach drop and the clawing return.

She struggled with something to say, but nothing seemed adequate. Instead, she just blurted out the first coherent sentence that came to mind. "You know I love you, right?"

Cat shifted in the bed and snuggled herself so tightly against Jade that it was as if they were one entity. "I know," she said. She moved her head and rested it against Jade's chest and she could hear Jade's rapid heartbeat beneath the skin that was still chilled from the October air. "I love you, too."

"Good," Jade said. She paused for a moment before placing a tentative kiss against Cat's red hair and wrapping an arm around the frail girl's waist. "And don't you ever forget that I love you, Okay? Never."

"Okay," Cat said.

Minutes passed and the two fell asleep to an orchestra of collected breathing and matching heartbeats.

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**And so the story is begining to become clearer, and more of Cat's history is revealed. I just really hope i did it justice. I've noticed that the things i write sometimes aren't like how i picured the scene in my head. **

**Reviews make me happy :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Honestly, i could have posted this along with the previous chapter, but i liked where that one ended and wanted it to be ended there. But as soon as i had posted that one, i guess my brain wasn't quite finished with the story, and more words just kept spewing out. And so, this is basically my mental continuation of the chapter that i posted yesterday.**

**Enjoy :)**

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Cat woke up on her own. It was a surprising change to having Jade's alarm clock blaring in her ear. But instead, she came out of sleep on her own accord and had sunlight shining in through the window and onto her face. Cat rubbed the sleep from her eyes and looked up. Jade was sitting in her black velvet chair with her legs crossed underneath her, writing in her notebook. When Cat glanced at the alarm clock, she gasped.

"Jade," she said, "We're late for school."

"Not going to school," Jade said. She didn't look up from her notebook.

"What? Why not?"

"We have an appointment with Dr. Lovely in two hours," Jade said. She glanced up for just a second and met Cat's eye as she said, "You have to talk to her about this, Cat."

"I have."

"No," Jade countered, with a sarcastic chuckle. "You haven't. I know you haven't."

"How would you know?"

Jade closed her pen in her notebook and placed it on her lap. "You've not the first person to walk into this house, Cat," she said. "I've seen craploads of people before. I've seen PTSD."

Cat frowned and cocked her head to the side.

"Post-traumatic stress disorder," Jade explained. "It's flashbacks and nightmares about traumatic events in your past. Basically, exactly what you have."

Cat crossed her arms in front of her chest and tried to look defiant. "How do you know I haven't told her about them?"

"Because you're not on pills," Jade said. "You're not on anything. You _should_ be. Anxiety stuff and what not. Heavy duty pills, too. But nope. The only thing you take in the mornings is your Flintstones gummies."

Cat shook her head. "I'm not crazy," she said. "I don't need pills."

"Medication doesn't make you crazy," Jade insisted. "It just means that you need help. You've been through a lot. It's obvious that its more than you can handle on your own. It doesn't mean that you're crazy."

Cat rolled out of bed with a huff and stomped her way to her room. Jade had to physically put a hand over her mouth to stifle a laugh at how adorable that girl is.

Jade drove Cat to Dr. Lovely's office and sat in the waiting room with her notebook on her lap as Cat walked into the Dr.'s office.

Jade hated how Cat made her feel. She hated that Cat made her stomach do flips and her pulse to race just a little bit faster. She knew that Cat wasn't going to stay in her life for very long.

No one did.

Everyone would show up, stay for a couple of months, and then disappear without a trace. In the beginning, Jade would befriend the people who would live in her house, but she was always the one left behind. She soon learned that it was best to just let them walk in and out of her life and to not get too attached.

That's why she fought hard not to let Cat into her life. She knew that one day, this whole thing would just become a distant memory that was going to be tucked into the dark recesses of her mind. Maybe, she might even forget all about the little redheaded girl. But the more Jade thought about the memory escaping her, the more ridiculous the idea became.

They had kissed in the darkness. Jade had held the girl tightly in her arms. While Cat slumbered, Jade traced the curve of her waist over and over again and memorized her shape like a map. She remembers the feeling of her body pressed tightly against her own and the sweet sound of her laugh and voice.

Jade knew that she would _never_ be able to forget it.

Jade hated that.

She never did feelings. She never liked feeling feelings. And yet, this random girl shows up and manages to make Jade feel things that she never even knew existed?

The kisses were nothing serious of course. There were miles worth of distance between the two of them. But maybe she just needed what Cat was offering.

Maybe she just needed to finally let Cat in and feel the affection Cat was willing to let her feel. The strange girl had gained access to parts of Jade that had been closed off for years, and in return, Jade was left with all of these feelings for a girl she had more than just an infatuation for, and an annoying clawing in her chest.

But the previous night had given Jade an answer that she had been questioning for a long time. She thought that she could just throw Cat out of her mind and turn her into just a house mate. But Cat was making it difficult. Even though Jade tried and tried to push the girl as far away from her as she could, visions of her smile and of her beautiful brown eyes continued to haunt Jade. Even though Jade told herself that she wanted nothing to do with her, she found herself seeking out Cat almost every night.

The feelings for Cat should have died in the dark abyss that was Jade's heart, but it had transpired into something so much bigger than what Jade's heart could even begin to handle.

The feelings were multiplying. It wasn't just a longing to see Cat smile. It became the need to kiss her, which became the desire to touch her, and then the wonder of what it would be like to have her touch Jade back.

Jade hated these thoughts that made a chill run down her spine.

Jade didn't know how long Cat was going to be staying with them. It could be days, weeks, months or years. But in this time, what would it be like for Jade to just give in? What would she have to lose to just have Cat's hands on her waist and her lips on her neck? What would it be like for Jade to tangle her fingers in Cat's red hair? The questions and wonder flooded Jade's mind until only one question remained.

What would it be like to be with Cat?

Jade was convinced that no person in her life could ever compare with the strange her she had met not even a month ago, and that it would be foolish to think that she could find someone better.

Cat was perfect to Jade. She was everything Jade had ever imagined. She was broken, and yet to alive. She had brought Jade up from the dark crater that was her life, kissing her softly in the process.

Jade closed her eyes and accepted her fate. There was no escaping the addiction of Cat at this point. Jade had fallen deep.

Jade looked up at the sound of the door closing and saw Cat walking out of the Dr.'s office, texting someone. Without looking up from the phone, Cat held out a prescription to Jade. Jade glanced down at it and recognized the name of a strong anti-anxiety medication and tucked it into her pocket, making a mental note to stop by the pharmacy.

"Can we go to school?" Cat asked, still not looking up from her phone. "It's only like fourth period."

Jade stood up and started walking towards the door, Cat following her. "Sure," she said with a shrug. "I guess. But why do you want to go to school."

"I'm texting Robbie," Cat said. "I told him that I changed my mind and that I'll go out with him."

Jade felt like her world shattered. Her footsteps stopped for just a second and it was like she forgot how to breathe before she pulled out her inner actress and put on her mask. But the intense clawing in her stomach continued.

"You guys are going on a date?" she asked. Her words were slow and deliberate to try to keep herself from saying all of the things she was thinking in her head.

"Yupp," Cat looked up from her phone just as they approached the car. "He really likes me."

Suddenly, Robbie was everywhere that Cat was, and Jade hated it.

He sat beside her at lunch, carried her books down the hallways for her, and waved at her from across the hall.

Jade hated it.

But she couldn't hate Robbie. Not really. She understood his infatuation with the adorable girl. After all, Jade was in the same boat. To hate him would be hypocritical.

He saw Cat and Jade kiss that one day in the hallway. But he didn't know that Jade had genuine feelings for Cat. That was entirely Jade's fault.

Wasn't this what she had wanted the entire time? Didn't she want for her and Cat to just go on with their lives and not have whatever weird connection they have? Of course, the day that Jade realized that there was no way she would be ever able to get on with her life without Cat by her side is the day that the universe decides to laugh in her face and have Cat move on without Jade.

But deep in Jade's mind, she knew that Cat wasn't happy. She still looked sad a lot of the time, but sometimes, Robbie made her laugh.

Jade hated it.

They stopped at the pharmacy after school to pick up Cat's medication. It was a bit late for her to just get started on it, so the first dose would have to wait until the next morning.

Jade made a mental note to check in the morning to make sure that Cat was actually taking the medications.

Later in the evening, Jade is sitting on her living room couch watching The Scissoring for the thousandth time when someone rings her doorbell. She paused the movie and took her favorite pair of scissors from her boot and walked towards the front door, flinging it open.

There before her stood Robbie, wearing a blue checkered shirt and a bright red bow-tie.

"Why hello there, Jade," he said, smiling widely.

Jade hated his smile.

"May I please come in?" he asked.

"No."

He opened his mouth to speak again when the quick pitter-patter of footsteps grew louder. Jade turned around and both she and Robbie watched Cat dance down the stairs, red hair flying behind her like fire.

"Robbie!" she exclaimed, approaching the door. Jade's eyes quickly roamed over Cat's body, taking in the pale yellow and blue floral dress, the bright pink ballet flats, and the white ribbon tied into her curls. Jade turned back to Robbie and felt her stomach churn as she saw his eyes lingering on Cat's frame.

"You ready little munchkin?" he asked, holding his arm out. Cat giggled airily and linked her arm with his. The two began to walk away from the door when Jade called out.

"Where are you guys going?"

Cat and Robbie both spun around. "On a date," Cat said. Her eyes remained locked onto Jade's. Something within Jade thought that she felt a challenge in Cat's gaze. It was as if Cat was begging for Jade to put a stop to the date. She wanted Jade to admit defeat and tell Cat that she can't go on a date with Robbie because Jade was falling for her.

But Jade wouldn't do that.

Instead, she rolled her eyes and closed the door, mumbling "whatever."

Cat jumped at the sound of the door slamming shut and the locks being turned.

"You like In-N-Out Burger?" Robbie asked, opening the passenger door of his blue Smart Car for Cat. She slid inside and watched as he skipped around the small vehicle to his side.

"Sure," she said. "That sounds fine."

"Great," Robbie said, starting the car up. "There's one on Sunset."

They drove in silence for a couple minutes, with not even the comforting music of Jade's car to fill Cat's ears. _Crap_. Cat shook her head to try to rid herself of thoughts of Jade.

"So," Robbie started, just as they were starting to pull into the parking space. "What made you take me up on my offer?"

_Because I girl I like won't go out with me._

Cat got out of the car and smiled at him over the roof. "Because you look cute in your glasses." She smiled more widely as Robbie's face instantly flushed a bright red.

They walked up to the door, which he held open for her and did a mock curtsey. "M'lady," he said. Cat giggled and walked up to the counter to order herself a Veggie Burger. She reached into her bag to grab her wallet when Robbie flashed his credit card faster.

"Allow me," he insisted, taking the card back after it was swiped.

"Robbie," Cat said, looking up at him. "It's okay. I can pay for my own food."

But Robbie shook his head. "Nope. It's a date. My rules are that if I ask you, I pay for you."

Cat smiled, taking her burger and moving towards the seats.

Robbie definitely was a gentleman. He was kind to her. He was a bit socially awkward, but in a way that made him endearing. But something about it just didn't feel right. Robbie didn't bite back sarcastic comments that made Cat laugh. Robbie didn't have big, green eyes that could hypnotize her. Robbie didn't have a delicious voice that sounded like a lilting lullaby with every word he said.

Robbie wasn't Jade.

Conversation was easy. They skipped over anything too personal. All they talked about was weather, class, and how much Cat like HA in comparison to her other school in Santa Monica. But the conversation was like that awkward meeting you have with a stranger. Cat still felt like she knew not a single thing about him.

They got back into the car and drove up and down Sunset once before heading back to Jade's house where Robbie could drop her off.

"I'm really glad you agreed to go out with me tonight," he said, putting the car in park and turning himself so that he was facing her.

"I had fun," Cat said. "It's been a while since I just drove around like that."

"Well, Jade's not exactly the epitome of _fun_," he said with a laugh. Cat cast her eyes down on her lap. She didn't see his hand reach out and cup her chin. But at the feeling, she looked up just as his lips were about to meet hers. Quickly, she moved back.

"Robbie," she said, eyeing him warily.

"What? You said you had fun."

"Yeah, but Robbie. I don't…"

"You kissed Jade," Robbie pointed out. "You kissed the demon monster who you're forced to live with, but you won't kiss me? We went out. You said you had fun."

Cat shook her head and unbuckled her seat belt, ready to get out of the car. "Everyone says she's such a terrible person, but she's not. Jade is the sweetest person I've ever met in my life." Cat got out of the car and shut the door. "Goodbye, Robbie," she said through the open window, and began walking up the pathway to the front door.

Robbie got out of the car and Cat jumped at the sound of his car door slamming. "Now you're going to be like that?" He asked. His voice rose and Cat's eyes widened. She spun around and saw him storming towards her.

"You have no reason to be mad at me," he said, stepping closer to her. Cat wanted to take a step back, but she felt her feet frozen to the ground. Her heart began to beat faster and her breathing to become uneven again. "You said you had fun. Why are you running away from me?"

_"Why are you running away from me?" her father asked. His voice was sickly sweet and his heavy footsteps drew nearer as Cat backed away from him. She tripped over the edge of the carpet and landed on her butt. She used her arms and legs to continue to propel herself backwards until her back hit the wall, but her father kept coming closer to her._

_"Please," Cat cried. "Don't hurt me."_

Robbie frowned. "I'm not gonna hurt you," he said. "Chill out." He held out his hands in self-defense, eyeing the girl. Cat had panic written all over her face.

"Don't hurt me!" she said again, louder. Robbie quickly looked around, trying to make sure that no one was around.

"Cat!" he said. "Quiet down. People are gonna think I'm attacking you or something."

"No!" she yelled again. "Daddy, don't hurt me! It hurts!" her voice grew louder and Robbie rushed over to her, instinctually putting his hand over her mouth to hush her yells.

But Cat screamed louder, desperately trying to distance herself from him. She fought with all of the strength she could muster in her tiny body, clawing at his arms and trying to kick him. But Robbie had a good 10 inches and probably 20 pounds on her, so Cat's attempts were futile.

He tried desperately to shush her. The porch light turned on and the front door swung open and Robbie saw Jade stare at him for just a moment before rushing forward.

"What did you _do!?_" she seethed, pushing him away from Cat. Cat instantly fell to the ground and rolled herself into the fetal position.

"Nothing!" he claimed. "I… she just started freaking out. I was trying to get her to shut up before someone called the cops on me."

"You fucking idiot," Jade muttered. She lowered herself down on the ground, inches away from Cat. She hated how this whole scenario was becoming all too familiar.

"Cat," she said. Her voice was strong, but without being stern. "It's me, Jade. You're safe. I'm here."

Robbie stood back and watched the interaction. Slowly, Cat seemed to relax with every passing moment. Jade inched herself closer and closer very slowly until she could put a featherlike hand on Cat's bare knee.

She jumped only slightly, but Jade repeated her mantra yet again and Cat held her arms out. Jade braced herself on her knees as wrapped Cat up in her strong arms again and lifted the tiny girl, holding her close to her chest.

"Get out of here Shapiro," Jade said, turning her back to Robbie as she walked towards the house. "I'll call the cops if you're not in your car by the time I reach the front door."

Jade smirked as she heard Robbie's hurried footsteps, the door slamming shut and the car being started.

Jade carried Cat up to her room much like she did the night before. Except last night, Cat was already in her pajamas. Now, Cat was almost unresponsive and wearing a dress.

She lay Cat down on the bed and contemplated what to do. Cat snuggled herself into the comforter and Jade realized that Cat was going to be of no help with the situation. And so, Jade leaned over and slowly slipped off Cat's shoes. She took the hair-tie off her wrist and tied Cat's hair into a messy bun.

She walked over to her dresser and pulled out a t-shirt. Slowly, she unzipped the back of Cat's dress and slipped it over her head. Jade was momentarily flustered to see that Cat wasn't wearing a bra, and she was glad that Cat was asleep and couldn't see the intense blush Jade felt rise to her cheeks. She quickly slipped the t-shirt over Cat's head, leaving her in just that and her pair of pink lacy panties. The shirt was so big on Cat that it looked like a nightgown, but it would do.

Jade climbed into the bed and wrapped both her and Cat in the covers and drifted off to sleep.

Jade was startled awake by the feeling of Cat suddenly sitting up in the bed. "Cat?" she whispered sleepily. She was still groggy and looked over at the clock to see that it was two in the morning.

"Oopsies," Cat whispered. Jade heard a sad sniffle and sat up at the sound.

"Oopsies?" she asked. "Cat, what's wrong?"

Cat didn't say anything. Instead, she starts sniffling louder and crying to herself. As Jade waited for an answer, she registered the fact that she was damp. She sat with a confused frown on her face until she realized what had caused the dampness.

"Cat," she whispered. "Did you wet the bed?"

Cat starts crying just a little bit louder and it breaks Jade's heart just a little bit more.

"Cat," Jade sighed. "It's okay. No biggie. No need to cry. I'll just change the bedding." Jade starts to get up when Cat finally speaks again.

"I'm sorry," she said. Her voice was an empty, broken whisper. "I usually wear special underwear when I go to sleep, but you dressed me last night after the… incident."

"It's okay," Jade said again. She reaches into her dresser and pulled out another t-shirt and a pair of boxers. "Here," she said, tossing them gently to Cat. "Go take a shower and put those on. I'll change the sheets, and then I'll shower. Don't worry about the bed."

Forty five minutes later, they're both showered and the bedding was changed. They had dimmed the lights to the point that they were just barely on and lay awake in in the bed, with neither knowing what to say.

"You don't have to tell me everything if you don't want to," Jade said suddenly, breaking the silence. I just want you to know that I know that your parents weren't very nice people, and that I'm sorry they hurt you. But you need to know that I'll never hurt you. Ever."

"The doctors think that I wet the bed because I was so young when my parents started being mean to me," Cat explained quietly. "She used a lot of big words that I don't remember, but it has something to do with acting like a little kid again."

"Regression?" Jade prompted, and Cat nodded.

"Yeah," she said. "That sounds right."

"I don't want you to be embarrassed," Jade admitted. "I want you to feel comfortable talking to be about things. Even the bed wetting. It's not your fault. You can't control it."

"Yeah," Cat whispered, snuggling herself tightly into Jade. "I love you too."

Jade knew that there was more to Cat's story that she had yet to learn, but she lay contentedly in the bed, just listening to the redhead's breathing. When it evened out and she was certain that the smaller girl had finally drifted off to slip, Jade let sleep over her, too.

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**Hmm.. i just realized how much of this story takes place in Jade's bed haha.**

**Reviews make me happy :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey. i was gonna update this sooner, but life got in the way. i haven't been spending much time at home at all lately. I'm gonna be graduating from high school in like two and a half months, so it's been a crap load of stuff thrown at me. I have four AP tests to study for over the next couple of weeks. I have college paper work to fill out. getting stuff about financial aid. manage to stay up to date with my current class work and keep my grades up. drive down to the barn to grain my horse and ride him. maintain a normal social life. and, keep up with the writing of my story.**

**so, you know, typical every day teenage stuff haha.**

**but, on a positive note, it's official. I will be attending university in the middle of New York City, and i couldn't possibly be more excited. haha sorry. i wanted to share the happy.**

**Enjoy the chapter :)**

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When Cat walked down the stairs the next morning for breakfast, Jade was sitting at the table with her notebook out in front of her, writing whatever it is she writes in that book. Cat was curious, of course. Jade was always so full of secrets. For someone who was usually so brash and outspoken, she rarely spoke about anything that was remotely personal. Even though Cat knows that she's been privy to sides of Jade that the rest of Hollywood Arts didn't even know exited, there was still a lot that the redhead didn't know about her roommate.

She grabbed herself a bowl of cereal and sat down opposite Jade, eyeing the tall brunette.

"Is that homework?" Cat asked, pointing the spoon towards the book.

Jade looked up, but said nothing. She leaned her chair back and stretched her arm out to the counter to grab the orange bottle and slid it across the kitchen table to Cat.

"Two pills," she instructed. "And no. It's not homework."

Cat nodded and took the pills, swallowing them and chasing down the chalky taste with a spoonful of her milk.

"So, what's that you're writing?"

Jade shut the book and stood up from the table. "School in ten minutes," she said as she left the kitchen.

Cat was almost always confused. She never claimed that she was a genius on any subject. But, she had always been good with people. People never confused her in the way that chemistry or algebra did. People were like music. Flowing and easy to understand as soon as you get used to reading in between the lines.

But Jade was an enigma wrapped up into herself. She confused Cat more than chemistry and algebra put together.

One moment, Jade was smiling and laughing along with Cat as if they were close friends. Then, she snaps at her and closes herself off so that Cat can't get in. But whenever Cat needs help, Jade is always the one to bring her back to the real world. One moment she's a raging bitch, and then she changes and becomes completely caring.

But Cat never knows which Jade she's going to get, especially since Jade wasn't exactly the best at expressing her true emotions.

The girl is an incredible actress. There was no doubt in Cat's mind about that. When a character needed to be sad or angry or elated, Jade could portray every emotion flawlessly and with the most believable intensity she could muster. The same would go for her writing. Yes, the few things of Jade's that Cat had read did have some sort of dark and twisted plot point in them, but there was a discernible amount of emotion in them.

Talking to Jade, her face was an expressionless mask. Except for her eyes, that is. The only way that Cat could ever get the chance to see inside of Jade was when she locked eyes with the tall brunette.

That entire day in school, Cat and Jade didn't say a word to each other. All that passed between the two of them was silent communication. In Jade's mind, it was great. Her words can't be misunderstood if there was nothing said.

But she was saying more than she let on. When Cat locked eyes with her at one point in Sikowitz's class, Jade had no way of knowing just what it was that Cat was seeing – the eyes are the windows to the soul, after all.

She saw a whirlwind raging behind her deep green eyes. Her irises swirled with the watercolor paint of her feelings. Cat could see all of the thoughts that Jade was too insecure to voice.

Cat thought it was beautiful. So long as she could stare into Jade's eyes like that, she could live a little longer with getting the cold shoulder.

But luck had to have been on Cat's side.

"West. Valentine," Sikowitz called. "Up on the stage por favor."

Jade's beautiful eyes stayed locked onto Cat's for a few seconds longer until they ripped away as she headed towards the stage. Cat followed, picking up the hem of her purple shirt and shifting her body weight from foot to foot uncomfortably.

"Pick a scene," Sikowitz said, taking a sip from his coconut and taking a seat in the front row beside Andre.

Jade crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Isn't that your job, Mr. Teacher Man?".

Sikowitz smiled. "Always a ball of pleasantries, aren't we." Cat looked up at Jade just in time to see her roll her eyes.

"Okay, _class_," Sikowitz said. "Someone suggest a location."

"Home," someone called from the back.

"Creative. Relationship?"

"Roommates," said another.

"Great. Now what is the issue?"

"Unrequited love." Jade's eyes snapped up and met Robbie's as he smirked and leaned back in his seat.

"Scandalous," Sikowitz said with a smile. "Begin!"

Jade's eyes looked back towards Cat's for a minute. Neither girl knew what to do, until Jade's inner actress came out.

"We can't do this," she said firmly. Visions of that day in Jade's kitchen flashed through Cat's mind and she felt a pang in her chest at the unwelcomed familiarity. It was hard enough to live through for the first time. Now she had to do it all over again?

Cat felt tears in her eyes forming. "But we've grown so close living together. Everything is perfect between us. I don't want this to end."

Jade shook her head and looked down at the ground. "It has to. I don't feel for you what you want me to feel for you."

"I love you."

The moment Jade heard the words, the clawing sensation in her chest felt stronger than ever before. It was as if whatever evil creature inside of her was threatening to free itself from her body right there on the classroom stage.

"But this is too complicated," Jade said. "We barely know each other. We lived two different lives. We're separate people. And I don't like girls."

Jade was surprised to see Cat shaking her head. "No," she said. "I love you Jade. And I know that you love me too. You don't have to say it in words. Even when you're not saying anything, your eyes tell me how much I mean to you."

Jade felt her heartbeat quicken. It was as if all movement in the room stilled. All eyes were on her and Cat.

Did she really just say that?

All of it felt just a bit too real. Without a second thought, Jade stormed off the stage and grabbed her bag, pushing her way out the door and into the empty hallway.

A moment passed in the classroom before Andre spoke up. "Anyone as confused as I am?" he asked. But rather than get an answer, the class just watched as Cat hurried off the stage and went in search of Jade.

Cat didn't need to think too hard to know to find the person in question sitting in the corner on the floor of the janitor's closet.

She knew that she had done something wrong the moment her eyes lock with Jade's. Cat slowly shut the door and puts her back against it, watching Jade watching her. Her shoulders were rising and falling with the deep breaths she was taking to try to reign her emotions. Cat could clearly see the muscles in her jaw clench as she grinds her teeth down to pull in her venomous words.

But Cat didn't quite know what it was that she did wrong. She did the scene, just as Sikowitz had asked her too. Wouldn't it had been worse if she had refused to do the scene?

But the emotions playing out behind Jade's eyes were enough to make Cat's stomach churn with guilt. Her eyes shone brightly in the dimly lit room, and her face turns into calm masking a pure anger, which was masking fear. Cat bit her lip and waited in silence.

"Well?" she spit venomously, and it was enough to make Cat jump, but the anger in her voice didn't even begin to match what Cat had heard from her before.

"Why are you mad at me?" Cat asked weakly. "I didn't do anything wrong."

Jade stood up, slightly wobbly on her feet, and towered over Cat as she stepped closer. "What was _that_, Cat? Why did you say those things?" Cat could tell that Jade was trying desperately to make herself seem angry and threatening, but Cat could see the fear and panic behind Jade's expression.

"I did the scene." Cat's voice was soft, and a pang of what Jade could only guess was guilt rang through her chest.

Jade fought it off. She didn't _do_ guilt.

She scoffed. "That wasn't just doing the scene, Cat. That was real."

Cat shrugged. "So what if it was? At least we finally talked about it."

"Yeah. In front of _everyone_!"

An irritated huff escapes through Jade's lips and a frown pulls at her face. Cat figured that the rest of Hollywood Arts probably thought that this was what Jade's face looked like permanently. They never got to see her like how Cat has seen her. The harsh lines of her face smooth out and tension evaporates from her very being, and in that moment, she is beautiful.

But now, she was just a mass of nerves and fear – two things that Jade is not good at. It's hard to admit that she may not be as strong as the rest of the world seems to think she is.

Jade didn't notice that she was crying until a tear landed on her hand. She looked down at it for a second, confused at where it had come from before she realized the stream of them on her cheeks.

"I'm sorry," Jade mumbled. "This whole thing is just so… so complicated."

"Don't apologize for crying," Cat said, taking a tentative step closer to Jade. The girl looked so much less threatening with tears in her eyes. She looked broken and scared. "It's natural. Human."

Jade wiped at her eyes, but it was useless. Tears continued to fall regardless of how hard she willed them to stop. "If I can't apologize to you for being human, what else is there for me to apologize for?"

"The words just started spilling out," Cat admitted. "It was like every other conversation we've ever had about us. I just wanted us to talk about it."

Jade paused. "You wanna talk about it now?" She was visibly more nervous than Cat had ever seen her before. Even after one of Cat's particularly bad episodes, when the redhead was resting her head against Jade's chest and could hear the rapid pounding of the taller girl's heart, she managed to emanate a calm, steady expression on her face.

Cat only nodded. She was too afraid that any words she might say may force Jade's defensive walls to snap back up just as Cat was starting to get a peek.

Jade bit on her bottom lip gently. Her right hand was wrapped tightly around the strap of her black leather bag, and her knuckles turned white. She takes a shuddering breath.

"This is really complicated," she finally offers. "I mean, I like you. I really like you. But I don't know if it's a good idea. You need to handle you before we even think about a relationship."

Cat shook her head. "No. Stop making this about me. This is about you." Her fingers itched to reach out and tangle themselves with the pale skin of Jade's hand.

"It's just… the moment that I say I'm with a girl, it's like there's no turning back," Jade admitted. "I guess I'm afraid."

Cat hoped her eyes didn't widen too visibly. To have Jade admit that she was afraid of something was a moment for the record books. Jade had always been seen as fearless. She stalks through the hallways, clad in the perfect image of the invincible, impenetrable, emotionless high school hierarchy.

Cat didn't know if she had ever seen Jade look this beautiful.

Jade felt an uncomfortable stinging behind her eyes that she desperately tried to hold back as she continued. "And, there's just so much going on with you right now. I mean, I think we should try to slay one dragon at a time, don't you think? You just got started on meds this morning. You're still having flashbacks and nightmares. You're healing, but you're not there yet. Do you really think this is a good time?"

As much as Jade fought, a single tear slid down her porcelain face before she could wipe it away and curse its existence. Why did her eyes need to betray her now?

But Cat was enamored with that very tear. This, standing before her, was Jade, completely open and letting her guard down. She was letting herself fall, hoping that Cat would be there to catch her. Cat was never the one in the protective position. Between her and Jade, she was the one who was being sheltered and cared for by the fierce force that was Jadelyn West. But the moment that Cat saw the pure vulnerability being reflected in Jade's tear, Cat's mama bear instincts came out, and she decided that she would be there to catch Jade when she fell.

"I don't know," Cat admitted. "I don't know if this is the right time. But it _feels_ right. Sometimes, your head and your heart get into an argument, and you have to decide which one is right. And right now, my heart is yelling so much louder than my head that it doesn't matter if I _think_ it feels right. My heart is winning. Don't you want to give this a try? Don't you think it's worth it to give _us_ a try?"

"Yeah," Jade whispered. Tears pooled in her eyes more now, threatening to fall with just one wrong move. But she held them in as she looked up at Cat.

The little red head's whole face lit up at Jade's words. Not just her eyes. They lit up too, but it was her cheeks, and her smile and her chin and even her nose. Her skin seemed to glow differently at Jade's admission.

Jade thought that they were worth it.

"I'm scared," Jade admitted. And then, the dam broke loose. Hot tears were rolling down her cheeks and she tried to shake her head, apologizing for the act of weakness, but Cat was already pulling the girl into her arms. Jade buried her face into Cat's hair, grabbing desperately at Cat, trying to hold herself up.

For the first time in a very long time, Jade just sobbed openly onto someone's shoulder.

And Cat felt honored.

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**Jade is trying to heal Cat at the same time that she's dealing with her own feelings. Cat is trying to free herself from the shackles of her past while at the same time, making Jade learn to actually _feel_. It's complicated, but i'm loving it. How bout you?**

**Reviews make me happy :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**I would like to take this time to appologize in advance to all Robbie fans. If i haven't made it clear enough, i very much do not like him, and that fact will be clearly evident in this chapter.**

**Dude is annoying and i don't like him. **

**I've also noticed that in my story, there's no Rex. Oops. oh well.**

**Enjoy :)**

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For the entire rest of the day, Cat felt as if she was flying.

When she told this to Jade, Jade laughed and said it was probably the new drugs. But in truth, Jade was feeling it too. The relationship was far from public, but at least Jade was calling it a _relationship_.

It felt different than anything she had ever known before. She spent pretty much all of high school with Beck. He was her first everything. First kiss, first boyfriend, first love, first time. It seemed like with every first she experienced, he was standing directly beside her, holding her hand and placing gentle kisses on her head.

Cat was different. Everything that Jade ever felt with Beck was exaggerated by a thousand. It wasn't just a butterfly in her stomach. It was a massive herd of elephants with fuzzy legs causing nerves whenever she caught a glimpse of Cat's dimples. It wasn't just the desire to hold his hand. This was like an overpowering magnetism that would compel her body forward until she was in some way touching Cat.

Jade didn't hate the feeling as much as she thought she would.

Her mind was elsewhere. Jade and Cat were paired up for a project in their world history class and they sat together in a corner of the carpeted room. Jade's mind registered the faint buzz of talking all around her, but she wasn't focused on any of it in particular. All of her attention was on the notebook in her lap, writing away.

It was only when a thin finger tapped her lightly on the nose that Jade looked up in confusion and saw Cat looking at her, grinning lightly as she swayed from side to side to a melody heard in her head only. Jade noticed how the florescent lighting of this room made Cat's hair exceptionally red and seemed to highlight the natural pink glow she had in her cheeks.

Jade furrowed her eyebrows, desperately fighting back the smile that was threatening to spill across her lips. "Did you just boop my nose?"

Cat shrugged. "You have a cute nose." Jade giggled. Honest to God _giggled. _Now it was Cat's turn to fight back a toothy grin.

"Whatdya wanna do for the project?" Cat asked, flipping idly through the textbook on the floor, doing nothing more than just scanning the pictures. "I don't know anything that happened in the 1950's."

Jade watched as Cat's delicate, child-like hands danced along the pages, flipping them between her tiny fingers when an image caught Jade's eye.

"Nonconformity," she said suddenly. Cat looked up in confusion at Jade, wordlessly asking for an explanation.

"The 1950's, especially at the end were basically a revolution for the art world. After the war, everyone wanted to be one huge group and act all unified, but not everyone was on board with that. There was a bunch of amazing artists who are known as the beat generation now who rebelled against all of those values."

"So what do you want to do?" Cat asked.

Jade shrugged. "This is the time of Jack Kerouac typing a novel on a roll of paper rather than in a book, and making up his own rules of writing. This was Elvis Presley bringing Rock and Roll to the spotlight and mainstream. This was Jackson Pollock laying out huge canvases on the floor and splashing paint and colored sand all over them and making art. The whole 1950's was about shocking the public and fighting against everything that was expected. Whatever it is that we do, it needs to be done with a bang. No poster board or slideshows. We need something creative."

Cat paused and bit her bottom lip, closing her eyes tightly.

"What are you doing?" Jade asked.

"Shh," Cat said softly. "I'm thinking."

Jade chuckled. "I thought I smelled something burning."

Cat didn't need to open her eyes to reach out and playfully smack Jade on the knee. Suddenly, her eyes flung open and met Jade's bright green.

"We could write and sing a song," Cat suggested.

Instantly, Jade's mouth formed into an uncharacteristic smile. "That's perfect," she said.

By the end of the period, most of the song was written out, alternating between Jade's sharp, angular penmanship and Cat's loopy squiggles of pink glitter gel pen. Jade was surprised at how well the two of them worked together on writing like that. They would have continued to sit there and write had it not been for the unusual bell signaling that they had one more period in the day.

"I'm excited," Cat said, slipping her backpack on her thin shoulders. "This song is really good."

"Yeah," Jade said with a smirk. "And when we go home, we'll work on figuring out the piano to go behind it. Have fun in your costume design class," Jade said.

"Kay kay." With a flip of her hair, Cat disappeared around the corner. She skipped down the halls on the way to her class when someone stepped in front of her. Cat skidded to a stop in order to not crash into him. Robbie stepped around so that Cat's back was against the locker and he stood in front of her.

"When it comes to Jade, I have no clue what could possibly be going on in that twisted head," he snapped. "She is a demented freak."

"She's not," Cat said weakly, trying to take a step further back. She wished that her back would just sink into the cold lockers behind her.

Robbie didn't seem to have heard her.

"With her, I can assume that this is all just a sick, convoluted plot to try to win Beck's heart through jealousy or something like that. What I don't understand is where you fit into all of this. I don't get why you're playing along with her game even though you know it's a game. Jade doesn't actually have feelings for you, and you don't for her either. She's impossible to love."

He was partially right about Jade, but he had mistaken her motives. Jade was being anything but selfish. It was apparent to Cat that her actions were entirely selfless. But, she knew that she couldn't just explain that to Robbie.

"I should really get to class," she whispered.

Jade was sitting in her psychology class, scribbling in her notebook and barely even paying attention to the teacher when the phone rang. Mr. Meyers walked over and answered it. When he hung up, he turned to the class.

"West, Oliver and Vega," he said, and Jade groaned aloud at the unfortunate grouping of people. "Can you run down to Lane's office for me, please? There's some things that I need brought here."

The three of them stood and began to walk through the halls. It was silent. The three of them weren't exactly the best bunch to stick together. Jade and Beck hadn't spoken much since their breakup, and Tori was the subject of the argument that led to the ultimate demise of their relationship. Even though Jade and Tori did share their heart-to-heart, the situation wasn't any less uncomfortable.

"Hey look," Tori said suddenly. "It's Robbie and Cat."

Jade's head snapped up. Robbie was standing tall in front of Cat, who seemed to be trying her hardest to shrink into the locker and run away. Jade didn't know what Robbie was saying to her. Jade didn't need to know. All she needed to see was that terrified expression in Cat's face and her tiny hands shaking at her sides.

Tori and Beck barely had time to react before Jade was gone from their side and storming down the hall. Cat's eyes shifted to Jade in just enough time to see the taller girl grab Robbie by the shoulders and throw him down to the ground. Cat took the opportunity to crawl away and sit in the corner, disappearing into the walls. Beck and Tori arrived at the very moment that Jade swooped down, grabbed Robbie by his shirt and lifted him up, pinning the now horrified looking boy against the locker. Without thinking, she reached one hand up and brought it hard against his face with the slap echoing through the otherwise empty halls.

"Jade!" Beck yelled. Jade quickly let go of Robbie and took a step back, chest heaving as she watched the boy lift his hand up to cup his burning cheek.

"What was that for?!" Robbie yelled.

"You were threatening Cat!"

"You don't know what I was saying to her!" He defended. "Besides. What's it to you? It's not like you actually care about her."

Jade's glare hardened and a sound similar to a growl seemed to emanate deep from her gut. Beck instinctively took a step back from her. After years of the two of them dating, he wasn't afraid of Jade. However, the experience made him smart enough to know to step away from her when she was mad.

"Don't you fucking _dare_ try to tell me what I feel about Cat," she snarled. The venom dripped from her tongue.

"Cold hearted snakes like you don't have feelings," he said with a smirk. Instantly, Jade stepped forward and placed a strong punch to his gut.

Cat felt her vision starting to go blurry and her breathing start to hitch in her throat.

_"Dumb bitch," Cat's father said. Her mother lifted her hands up to protect her face as Mr. Valentine punched her sharply in her stomach. The small woman doubled over in pain. From her spot under the dining room table, Cat could see tears falling from her mother's cheek._

_"I'm sorry," the woman sobbed. "It was a mistake."_

_"Yeah it was a fucking mistake," he seethed. "And this is me making sure that you never make that same fucking mistake again."_

Jade's ears pick up the sound of Cat's heavy breathing and quickened heartbeat, and she turns her head to check on the smaller girl. The clawing sensation returns to her gut at the very sight of Cat's glossy eyes. It was as if Jade was starting to feel the same things that Cat was feeling, but to a lesser degree.

As she watched Cat's fingers turn white as they gripped tightly around the strap of the bag on her shoulder, Jade wished that she couldn't feel the panic Cat was feeling. Jade saw the war raging behind Cat's watery eyes as memories of a painful past clashed with the present moment. Jade knew that she was the one causing Cat this distress, and the weight of the guilt was pressing down on her chest, leaving her dizzy and struggling for breath.

She pushed Robbie hard against the locker. His head collided with the metal and he collapsed to the ground. But Jade didn't watch that. Her eyes were fixed on Cat.

Beck followed Jade's gaze until he too noticed Cat, curled up in a ball on the floor, rocking back and forth with her eyes tightly shut. Her lips were moving as if she was mumbling words, but nothing could be heard.

"Cat," he said, eyes opening wide. "Are you okay?"

He moved to kneel down to her when Jade snapped. "No!"

Beck almost fell over at the sound of her voice, looking up at her in fear.

"Don't touch her," Jade exclaimed. "You're a guy."

He frowned. "Yeah," he stated. "I am. So?"

Jade shook her head and walked closer to Cat, slowly bringing herself to the ground and taking the smaller girl into her lap, holding her until she calmed.

"Tori," Jade called. "Grab me my bag?" Tori walked over to where Jade had tossed her black messenger bag and brought it to the two girls. Jade had both arms wrapped protectively around Cat.

"Open the top pocket," she instructed, and Tori did as she was told. "There's a little orange pill container and a water bottle somewhere in there. Take out a pill and put it in Cat's mouth, then give her a sip of the water."

"But-" Tori started, but Jade cut her off.

"Just do it." She didn't want to raise her voice with Cat in her arms like that, but she didn't need volume to convey the emotion behind it. Tori complied. She brought the pill up to Cat's lips, followed by the water bottle. With her eyes still shut, the two girls could see that Cat swallowed anyway and relaxed further into Jade's warm embrace.

Tori lifted up the pill bottle and examined the label. "Klonopin?" she asked.

"It's an anxiety med." Jade didn't say much more. They sat until Robbie started to stir in his spot on the floor.

"I'll take him to the nurse," Beck offered. He helped Robbie onto his feet and guided him down the hall.

Another 10 minutes or so later, Cat began to move slightly in Jade's arms. "Jadey," Cat mumbled. "M'tummy hurts. N'ts like th'worlds spinnin."

"It's the pills, Cat," Jade said softly.

Using all of the muscles in her body, and some help from Tori, Jade managed to lift both herself and Cat up off the floor.

"I think we're just gonna go home," she decided, putting her arm around Cat's waist for stability. Cat could walk, but not very well in a straight line.

"Is she going to be okay?" Tori asked, eyeing Cat with concern etched over her features.

"Yeah," Jade sighed. "It's just the pills. They're fast acting and super strong, meant for panic attacks like this. And it was her first time taking them. She'll be fine."

Tori paused before nodding slowly. "Okay.." she said. "Just, get her home safely. I'll go grab those things for Mr. Meyers."

Jade had completely forgotten about them. Tori had started to walk away when Jade called out, "Vega." Tori turned around to look at her. "Thanks," Jade said. Tori nodded in acknowledgement before walking away.

Cat wasn't entirely even sure how she got to Jade's car and then to the house and up into Jade's bed, because she felt as if her legs were not even legs anymore. But, she knew that she would be safe and that she would not fall to the floor because even in her drug induced haze, she could feel Jade's arms wrapped comfortably around her waist all the way until Cat's body met the soft comfort of Jade's bed.

Jade headed downstairs and poured herself a large cup of coffee before sitting down on the couch and sinking into the red plush fabric. Her PearPhone vibrated against the glass coffee table in front of her and she saw Tori's face flashing on the front screen.

Jade unlocked the phone and read the text.

_You know I need an explanation, right?_

Jade sighed before writing back.

_I know. Come over._

She sent Tori a message with her address and poured herself another mug of coffee as she waited. Twenty minutes later, there was a knock on her door. Jade opened it to find a very nervous looking Tori standing on her front step. After a few moments of pure silence, Jade spoke.

"You gonna come in?" she asked sharply, "or would you rather I slam this door in your face?"

Tori took a step into the foyer and Jade shut the door behind her. "Sorry," Tori said. "It's just that this is the first time I've ever been at your house."

"And?"

Tori shrugged. "It's different than I was expecting. Part of me thought I'd see a shrine or skulls and weird things in jars."

Jade grinned. "Nah. That's just my bedroom."

Tori nodded nervously and headed towards the kitchen after Jade.

"Coffee?" Jade asked over her shoulder, pouring herself a third mug.

"Yeah," Tori said. "Coffee is good. Milk and one sugar."

Nothing at all was said until Jade placed Tori's coffee in front of her and watched the other girl take her first sip.

"I can't tell you everything," Jade said. "Actually, I can't tell you most things. I can tell you as much as I can tell you, but it's really not my story to tell."

Tori nodded slowly, taking in the girl's unusual rambling. Cat's the one who rambles on. Jade is direct and to the point.

"So what can you tell me?" Tori asked.

Jade took a long sip of coffee and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before speaking. "Cat was taken from a shitty home when she was 15. Her parents were horrible. And the stuff they did to her seriously screwed with her brain. Now she has post-traumatic stress. Like, majorly. You've seen her have the panic attacks, but she also had horrible nightmares. And she's on meds as of yesterday, so they've not completely started working yet. It'll be a couple weeks until we see clear results."

"But that pill in the hallway calmed her down."

"That one is for emergencies only," Jade explained. "It's the super-fast acting one that is only to be used when she's having a panic attack. The other one she takes every morning."

"Is she okay?" Tori asked.

"Better. But not perfect. I really can't tell you more. That's Cat's story."

Tori nodded. "I understand."

A silence fell over the two girls and it became more than painfully obvious that they weren't exactly what one would ever call friends.

"You uhh… wanna watch a movie or something?" Jade asked.

Tori got up from the kitchen table and smiled. "That depends. You have movies other than The Scissoring."

"I do. Just not ones that are as good."

When Cat woke up an hour later, the two girls were halfway through watching Pulp Fiction. Despite Tori's protests, Jade had insisted that this was a classic, and they would either end up watching this, The Scissoring, or Tori could just go home.

"Hi hi," Cat said, straightening out her outfit as she walked into the living room. "I'm hungry," she said. As if on cue, her stomach growled.

Jade laughed. "You wanna make some sushi?"

Cat nodded and sleepily walked towards the kitchen, leaving Tori and Jade to follow.

"Homemade sushi?" Tori asked. "I tried that once. It didn't work out too well for me."

"Yeah? Well I'm not you," Jade snapped. "I'm more than competent at making sushi." She put of a bag of instant steam rice into the microwave and placed a cutting board in front of Tori, handing her a knife.

"But I thought you were a vegetarian," Cat said, watching as Jade dug through the fridge to grab the right ingredients.

"You are?" Tori asked.

"Glad to know you pay attention to me Vega," Jade chuckled. "Yes I am. And these will be vegetarian. Unless you want to put some fish in yours."

"No," Tori said. "It's okay."

Jade handed Tori a mushroom, avocado, and a bell pepper. "Cut these into long, thin strips," Jade instructed. The microwave beeped and Jade took out the hot bag, quickly placing it into the sink and pouring it into the colander, rinsing it.

"Here," She said to Cat. She reached over and grabbed a bowl of some funky liquid and handed it to Cat. "Mix this in with the rice. It's what makes it sticky."

Tori watched as Jade stepped behind Cat, both of them holding onto the same wooden spoon as they stirred. She could see a faint smile playing at Jade's lips, and it made Cat smile too.

To be honest, Tori never quite understood these two. From that first day where she met Cat, she thought that Jade would eat her for lunch. Cat had this level of happiness and energy that Tori was sure would have pissed off Jade to no end, and she thought that Cat would have been terrified of the fierce force that was Miss Jadelyn West.

But Tori learned that that was not the case at all.

They were adorable together as Jade unrolled the seaweed and the two of them spread the rice out on it in a thick sticky layer.

Tori turned her attention back to the vegetables in front of her.

"I'm sorry," Jade said. It was such a soft mumble that Tori knew that it wasn't meant for her to hear. She fought back the urge to snap her head up at Jade's apology, because she honestly never heard Jade say those words with that much sincerity before.

"For what?" Cat asked, voice equally as quiet. Tori knew that she was invading on a very personal moment.

"The only reason why you had a panic attack in school like that was because you saw me and Robbie. It was my fault."

"No it wasn't," Cat said, turning around. Jade had both of her arms on the table on either side of Cat, locking her in place. Their faces were just inches apart. "You were protecting me. You shouldn't feel guilty."

"But I do," Jade said. "I feel guilty because my actions are what triggered a memory in you. That's what made you freak out like that."

"But you didn't do anything wrong."

"Sure feels like I did," Jade mumbled. Cat turned back around and finished spreading the rice out on the seaweed and Jade swept Cat's long red hair off to one side so that she could place a soft kiss to Cat's bare shoulder.

"Finished with the veggies," Tori announced. Jade looked up quickly and Tori saw the blush on Jade's cheeks. It was strange to see her with the pinkness in her face, because Tori was certain that she had never seen Jade blush before. Or apologize. Or act sweet and caring.

Cat was definitely making a mark on Jade, and Tori liked the result.

Jade placed the veggies in the middle of the rice before rolling it up into one long piece of sushi, and then cut it up into smaller bite-sized pieces and set it up on a plate.

They ate the sushi and watched another movie before Tori left, and the sun was beginning to set. Cat got herself ready for bed and went into her room to grab her favorite stuffed giraffe. When she walked across the hall and into Jade's room, she smiled.

Jade was lying down on her side of the bed with the covers brought up to her shoulder, but the blanket was folded over like an open invitation on the side that Cat usually sleeps on. Cat jumped up onto the bed and in an instant, Jade turned around and wrapped her arms securely around Cat's tiny waist.

"G'night," Jade mumbled, and Cat wiggled herself so that her back was flush against Jade's front and she could feel the taller girl's breath tickling the tiny hairs on the back of her neck.

"Jadey," she whispered, clutching her stuffed giraffe tightly against her chest.

"Mmhmm?" Cat could feel the vibration of the sound through Jade's body and into her own.

"We never wrote the piano piece for that history assignment.

"Tomorrow," Jade said. Her arm wrapped just a little bit tighter, pulling Cat just a little bit closer, and Cat could feel the steady beating of Jade's heart. "Now sleep."

* * *

**I wasn't quite sure what to call that. You know how the corner of the comforter could be folded over like that? Is it that the covers are thrown open... or... i don't know. Either way, you guys get the mental image i was going for haha.**

**I also noticed that of my stories, i've yet to cross over the 14 chapter line. Both of my multi chapter fics were 14 chapters. This right here was chapter 12. i don't quite know how much longer i'm going to make it. I'm not good at planning in advance. so, it all depends on how i write the next couple chapters. maybe i'll reach a point where i feel like that's the perfect closing for my story. i don't know. but, if there's anything you guys were hoping to happen in this story that you didn't see, let me know.**

**Reviews make me happy :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Oh my goodness. I know that it has been _way_ too long since i last updated and i am sincerily sorry. School and life just have completly gotten in the way, and i know that that is absolutly no excuse for the fact that you've been waiting patiently for my next chapter and i've just never had the opporitunity to get around to it. i apologize profusly.**

**I really hope that i can make it up to you guys with this chapter, which i actually like very much. I hope you guys all like it too and find it in your hearts to forgive me for how freakishly long it has taken me to update this thing.**

**And i believe that this is the longest chapter i've posted for this story so far.**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

Next Saturday morning, Jade was awake much earlier than she would have liked to have been. Jade wasn't the type to sleep in until past noon, but the idea of waking up at seven in the morning on a Saturday after a long week of school and everything else that had been going on was absolute blasphamy. And yet, she had promised Cat that she would drive her to her next appointment with Dr. Lovely, so Jade found herself sitting at her kitchen table, drinking coffee.

Cat, however, seemed unfazed by the early hour. She's was a natural morning person. And, as if that wasn't enough, she was always ready to bounce off the walls with levels of excitement and energy that Jade couldn't possible match even if she was hooked up to an IV with black coffee. That's why Jade was awoken, not by her alarm clock, but by Cat pouncing on her exactly five minutes before the alarm clock was about to ring, singing a song about how it's not okay to be late.

From her spot at the kitchen table, she heard Cat's beautifully melodic voice floating through the house from where she was getting dressed up stairs. Jade found herself smiling.

"Good morning," her mother said, walking into the kitchen. Jade always hated it when she was told that she was simply a younger version of her mother. They both had naturally dark hair, but Mrs. West's was streaked with the occasional glimmer of silver. They both had naturally pale skin, but Mrs. West's eyes were outlined with wrinkles. And both her eyes and Jades were a similar shade of bright green.

"Hey," Jade said softly. Her mother poured herself a cup of Jade's coffee and sat down at the table opposite your daughter.

"So, you and Cat have been getting along really well," Mrs. West observed. "More so than I've ever seen you with anyone else who has ever stayed with us."

Jade shrugged. "Yeah. So?"

"Nothing. I was just curious. You see, last night I was up until very late doing some laundry, and I wanted to put the basket of Cat's clothes into her room, but she wasn't in her bed. It didn't even look slept in. So I was going to go to your room to ask you if you knew where Cat was, and then I saw the two of you cuddling in your bed."

Jade said nothing.

"I never knew you to be one to cuddle," Mrs. West said.

"She's been sleeping in my bed with me." Jade hoped that her voice didn't convey any of the nerves she felt bubbling up in her gut and did a mental thank-you to Sikowitz's acting classes.

"Often?"

Jade thought for a moment. "I don't think she's slept in her own bed, yet."

Mrs. West took a sip, and Jade could see the gears turning behind her mother's eyes as the older woman thought of how to phrase her next question. "How much do you know about Cat's past?"

Jade knew that her mother was informed of some of the details of Cat's past. But, the foster system was a tricky thing. Foster families aren't told a lot. State laws prohibit the social worker to tell the family anything beyond the "need to know" information. But, the families are told of important things that will come up.

Mrs. West was told of the fact that Cat came from an abusive household, and that the girl needed to attend therapy twice a week. And, from watching Cat interact with the family and from having a few conversations with her, Mrs. West could infer a few more things, but she didn't know everything.

"I know more than you do," Jade said, finishing her coffee with a long sip.

"So you understand why it may not be a good idea for the two of you to get involved."

Jade looked up curiously at her mother. "What are you talking about?"

"Jade. You don't share. Ever. Never your time, and especially not your bed. Do you have feeling for Cat?"

Jade fought her body as she tried desperately to push the blush from rising to her face. "Just because we're sleeping in the same bed doesn't mean that we're sleeping together like that."

"I never said you were. I'm just telling you that I don't think any of this is a very good idea right now."

Before Jade could answer back, Cat's soft footsteps could be heard from the staircase and she soon skipped into the kitchen.

"Morning," she sang, grabbing an orange from the fruit bowl. She poured herself a small cup of orange juice. "What time are we leaving?"

Cat was completely oblivious to the accusatory look Mrs. West was giving Jade before the older woman stood up and walked into the living room.

Jade turned her head and smiled at Cat, hoping the smaller girl didn't sense the tension in the room. "As soon as you finish eating," Jade said.

Cat smiled and sat down, eating her orange.

Jade dutifully sat beside a Miss Catarina Valentine in the waiting room of her psychiatrist's office, waiting patiently for the girl's name to be called. Cat was playing an intense game of Temple Run on Jade's phone while the taller girl wrote away in her notebook.

When she wrote, it was as if the world disappeared. She was no more than a connection between her fluid thought and the written word. She was just the device used for those thoughts to inscribe themselves on paper. Jade was her writing, and the world around her erased completely. She was so engulfed in her writing that she didn't hear the nurse call Cat's name.

It wasn't until a hand reached out and fingered a lock of Jade's dark hair that her green eyes snapped up and met Cat's. "What? Huh? Sorry." Cat giggled.

"You went into your head again."

"Happens."

"I wonder where you go when you do that."

Jade fought hard to keep the silly smile off her face. "You going in?" she asked.

"Actually, I wanted to know if you'd come in with me."

Jade frowned. "Into the shrink's office?" she asked. "Why?"

Cat shrugged and held out her hand. "Because it'd make me happy?"

Jade sat there for a moment, staring at the tanned hand out in front of her and realized that she couldn't come up with an argument against that.

Jade took Cat's hand and stood up from her seat, never releasing her grasp on the small hand enveloped within her own milky white skin. They walked in through a door into a room that looked like a living room with a woman sitting behind a desk. At the sound of the door, she looked up and smiled.

"Nice to see you, Cat," she said, standing up from the desk and walking over to them. "And I'm going to assume that you are Jade?" she held her hand out to Jade.

Reluctantly, she released Cat's hand so that she could shake the woman's. "Yeah," Jade said. "And you're Dr. Lovely?"

"So I'm told," she said with a laugh. "So how can I help you, Jade?"

"Well," Cat started, "I was wondering is Jade could stay with me for this session?"

"But I don't have to," Jade said with a shrug. "I mean, I don't really know what the protocol for this type of stuff and if people really have friends sitting in on their sessions. They seem sorta private."

"If Cat wants you to sit in, I'm not opposed to it," the Dr. said. "It's not typical, but not unheard of." She turned to Cat. "Are you sure you want Jade to listen to the things we're going to talk about?"

Cat nodded quickly. "Totally."

Dr. Lovely chuckled and motioned to the couch. "Okay. So have a seat, girls."

Cat plopped herself down in the large, soft couch while Jade perched herself precariously on the edge of the seat, ready to flee if need be.

"How have you been feeling on the new medication?" Dr. Lovely asked.

"Fine," Cat replied. "I've been more tired lately, but that's not a big deal."

Jade turned her head to look at her. She didn't know that Cat was experiencing any side effects.

Dr. Lovely nodded. "Drowsiness is extremely common with antianxiety medications. But you're not exhibiting any slurred speech, so the drowsiness isn't too extreme."

Jade's eyes snapped to the doctor. Slurred speech? This is the type of medication they're putting little Cat on?

"And what about school?" she asked. "Anything new?"

Cat shrugged. "Jade and I are working on a history project together about the 1950's. But we're making the presentation into a rock song, since it's about the pop culture change of the time."

Dr. Lovely smiled. "That sounds wonderful. You two musical?"

"Very. We both sing, and Jade plays piano and I play guitar."

Jade quickly turned back to Cat. "You play guitar?" she asked. Jade had no idea that Cat played any instrument. She knew that Hollywood Arts had a policy that every student must play a musical instrument, but she had just assumed Cat would go with something similar to the flute and just leave it at that.

"Yeah," Cat said with a smile. "I saved up my birthday money on my tenth birthday and bought myself a guitar and an instruction book and taught myself how to play."

"But I've never seen your guitar. Is it in your room?"

Jade watched as Cat's expression darkened, and it immediately awoke the clawing sensation deep within Jade's gut.

"My parents got rid of mine two years ago. Daddy got mad and threw it in the fire place. But I used to practice on my friend's guitar like once a week anyways."

"Do you remember the night he burned your guitar?" Dr. Lovely interjected.

"Yeah," Cat nodded. "I was really sad."

"I want to try a new method with you," Dr. Lovely said. "I want you to close your eyes for me."

Jade watched as Cat's long eyelashes fluttered down and her lids shut.

"Picture the scene. Tell me what happened. I want you to play it in your mind like a movie, and for you to tell me what is going on in that movie. Do you understand?"

Cat's eyes didn't open as she spoke, but Jade could see the fear splayed across her features. "But what if I have a panic attack again?"

"You're in a safe place," Dr. Lovely replied. "If you start having a panic attack, I'm right here to calm you down. It's okay. You're safe."

Cat nodded once and took a shaky breath.

"I was sitting in the living room practicing the guitar," Cat said. "I really wanted to learn how to play this one song so that I could sing along with it, so I was practicing for hours and hours. I was getting really tired, so I went to the kitchen to grab a glass of soda."

_Cat opened the fridge and went to pour the Pepsi into a tall glass with ice and took a long sip, feeling the carbonated bubbles against her tongue and the coolness of the liquid slipping down her throat. She swallowed and sighed, instantly feeling just a bit more energized._

_She turned around to head back into the living room and continue playing when she hit her foot on the edge of the counter and stumbled forward. The glass fell from her hand and shattered loudly against the tiled floor._

_"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?" her father's voice boomed throughout the house, and Cat heard his footsteps upstairs as he began to descend the staircase._

_Every nerve in Cat's brain was telling her to hurry and grab the roll of paper towels to try to gather some of the mess, but her body wouldn't move. She found herself standing, frozen in fear. She felt her heart beating in her ears as his footsteps grew louder._

"Then the footsteps stopped," Cat said. Her eyes remained tightly shut and Jade could detect a tiny twitch in the muscles on the left side of her mouth. Jade's heart beat wildly at Cat's story.

Cat took another deep breath before continuing, and her words were delivered in a soft, eerie whisper that caused a chill to run down Jade's spine. "I didn't need to turn around to know that he was in the kitchen. I could feel it."

_"LOOK at the fucking MESS you made!" he boomed. Cat's whole body jerked at the sudden sound, but feet remained glued to the floor._

_"I'll clean it up," she whispered. "It was an accident."_

_"Damn straight you're gonna clean that shit up." Cat finally managed to take one step forward to go get the paper towels when a rough hand wrapped itself around her ponytail and yanked back sharply. Cat gasped as she was pulled onto the floor, landing in the mess of Pepsi and broken glass. She could feel her body stinging in places where she recognized the glass had cut her._

_"You're so stupid!" he spat. He kicked her once in the leg, hard, and Cat bit her tongue to stop herself from yelling out. "All you've ever done was disappoint me. You can't do math well. You can barely read. Hell, you have no _common sense_. You're such a retard. You're a failure at life and everything you do."_

_"That's not true," Cat whispered._

Jade felt her breathing speeding up and her eyes beginning to fill with tears. She wasn't an emotional person. Not in the slightest. But this was Cat.

Jade had never truly gotten a glimpse into the life Cat lived before the faithful day she showed up at the West's doorstep. Jade only knew bits and pieces. She knew of the abuse. She knew of the rape. But she never knew any details. Cat didn't give them out randomly and Jade wasn't going to push the obviously sensitive topic. But now that she was actually hearing Cat's recollection of a single event, Jade's body was radiating with both despair for Cat and pure loathing for the monster that was Mr. Valentine.

"I remember being really surprised that I had said anything," Cat said. "I never talked back to him. And I guess he noticed."

_Mr. Valentine's face contorted in pure disgust. "Don't you DARE ever fucking talk back to me you filthy little bitch. He gave another swift kick to Cat's leg. "And you're wrong. You suck at everything you do. Name one thing you're good at."_

_For a moment, Cat didn't know if she should answer. She wasn't exactly a professional at detecting what was and what wasn't a rhetorical question, but she saw this as her father giving her permission to speak._

_"I can sing," she said. "I can play guitar."_

_Her father scoffed, and the venom in him was evident. "If I could rip out your vocal chords, I would. And as for the stupid guitar..."_

_Cat watched as her father walked out of the kitchen without saying another word. She sat there, motionless on the floor._

_"GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!" he screamed. Cat placed her hands on the ground to help herself stand up, feeling the sharp splinters of glass embedding themselves deeper and deeper into the palms of her hands. She saw tiny red trickles of blood coming down her leg and seeping through her shirt. _

_She fought against the pain and quickly headed towards the living room. Inside, she saw her father standing with her guitar in his hand._

_Cat loved that guitar. After she bought it with her own money, she went out to a craft store and purchased rhinestones and special appliques to decorate the whole thing. She had spent three days decorating the body of the guitar, and it was a work of physical art that she used to create musical art._

_Cat didn't say a word as she watched her father cross the living room, holding her most prized possession in his hand._

_"This guitar is pointless filth," he spat. "You don't need music. It's frivolous. It's pointless. Air pollution. Garbage."_

_Cat watched as he approached the far wall, beside the burning fireplace._

_"You'll be much better without it," he said. "Consider this me doing you a favor. Maybe now that you stop paying so much attention to your fucking music and art and whatever pointless shit you're into, you can finally figure out how to add like a normal person and actually be a human being. You're too retarded for life."_

_It was that moment that it clicked in Cat's head. She understood what her father's intentions were. He lifted the guitar and began moving towards the fire. His motions seemed so slow to Cat that it was as if a painful torture was being dragged out in front of her, causing her to endure it for as long as possible._

_"No," she whimpered. "Please."_

_Her cries fell upon deaf ears as her father didn't hesitate for a moment before throwing the instrument into the fiery inferno. The fire place cracked and popped louder at the addition of new kindling._

_Her father glanced at Cat for just a moment with a smug look on his face. He turned and headed out of the living room, passing by Cat and saying, "Don't forget to clean up that fucking mess in the kitchen."_

"I went through a whole box of Band-Aids trying to cover up the cuts all over my body from falling into that glass," Cat said.

A tense moment of silence fell over the room. Cat continued to sit there with her eyes tightly closed. Dr. Lovely was writing things quickly in the notepad on her lap. Jade stared at Cat, willing the tears in her eyes to not fall down her cheeks.

"Can I open my eyes now?" Cat whispered.

"Yes. You may," Dr. Lovely answered.

Cat did, and the first sight she saw were Jade's emerald orbs staring deep into her. Cat didn't need to hear any words to feel every ounce of emotion flowing through her.

"The hour is up," Dr. Lovely said. "Thank you for feeling safe enough to open up with me today. I'd really like to talk about this more at our next session."

Cat nodded once and stood up on shaky legs. Jade instantly felt herself standing up too.

"Can I ask you a question?" she said to the doctor. "In private?"

"Of course," Dr. Lovely said with a warm smile.

Cat nodded once more. "I'll be in the waiting room," she whispered.

When the door was shut, Jade sat back down on the couch. "How could someone do that?" she asked. "How could someone do _that_ to their own child?"

Dr. Lovely pursed her lips as if she was trying to think of exactly the right thing to say to Jade.

"I know it's a hard thing to wrap your head around. Gut reactions to their actions force people to form preconceived notions that an abuser is a monster."

"That man _is_ a monster!" Jade insisted. "Cat is the sweetest, most innocent person I've ever met in my life. She didn't deserve to live through such a hell."

Dr. Lovely shook her head. "No. She didn't. No one deserves to ever have to experience that pain. But he's not a monster. He's sick. No one is abusive without reason. Abusers are not prompted by their children's behavior but rather by their own psychological problems. They are usually people who received inadequate love and nurturing from their own parents."

"So you're saying that this asshole did these things to Cat because his own parents didn't hug him enough?"

Something in Dr. Lovely's facial expression changed. It was almost like she wanted to laugh but was quick enough to stop herself from doing so.

"Well, the psych books aren't quite as…. eloquent as you are, but basically yes. The abuse he learned from his parents is abuse he passed on to his own child."

"So what about Cat?" Jade asked. "How is this going to affect her in her adult life?"

Dr. Lovely shook her head. "There's no equation I can use to answer that for you. Each individual obviously responds in different ways. But if there is one thing I can say about Cat, it's that she doesn't let her past affect her that much. Many children from abusive situations such as the one she was in are emotionally withdrawn and find themselves unable to form a bond with other people. As a child, they formed an insecure attachment and that mentality continues with them through their entire lives. They find relationships of any sort challenging. But Cat is nothing like that. I think you know that better than anyone."

"Yeah," Jade said, nodding once. "I do. Thank you."

Dr. Lovely's warm smile was starting to irritate Jade less than it had in the beginning. "Anytime. If you ever want to stop in for a chat, just give me a call."

Jade nodded again before stepping out of the office and finding Cat twiddling her thumbs in the waiting room.

Neither girl mentioned anything of what was revealed for the rest of the day. Cat spent the entire time worrying about what Jade's reaction would be to hear all that she had heard. Jade was afraid of upsetting Cat by asking questions and accidentally saying the wrong thing. So, nothing was said.

They drove home in silence and went to the couch to watch a movie until lunch time. They went out for sushi at Nozu, talking about nothing more than their assignment for school. By the end of their lunch, the had an entire melody planned out and it was just a matter of getting home and writing it down on sheet music. That took them all the way until dinner time, at which point neither girl needed to say much because Mr. and Mrs. West carried most of the conversation.

After another movie, both girls found themselves getting dressed and ready for bed. As Jade was stepping out of the shower, wrapped up in her deep red towel, her mother passed her in the hallway and through Jade a knowing look. No words were needed for Jade to know that her mother was trying to convey something of a disapproval of Jade and Cat hooking up.

But it wasn't like that. It wasn't like that at all. They hadn't had sex, and there was no pressure for that either. Jade liked spending time with Cat. She liked the feeling of Cat's body in the bed with her and having someone to snuggle with. She liked hearing to Cat's breathing turn into tiny and incredibly adorable snores.

Nothing about the two of them sleeping in the same bed was about sex.

Jade got dressed in her pajamas and crawled into bed, and a short ten minutes later was joined by her tiny redhead.

After a few moments of silence, Cat turned around and faced her roommate. "Jadey," she said. Her voice was soft like a lullaby and had Jade's heart melting. "Will you tell me a story?"

Jade chuckled, dark and bitter, and Cat felt the bed shake slightly with the movement of Jade's body. "I'm not exactly good at bedtime stories, Cat."

"Try?"

Jade sighed and leaned back into her black pillows, mind racing as she tried to come up with a story.

She was a playwright. This is what she did. She came up with stories all the time. But nothing seemed right to tell to Cat right now. Her mind kept racing to the pure vulnerability she had seen from Cat earlier in the day. It was only fair that Cat get to see such a deep side of Jade as well.

"There was a girl," she said. "A stunningly beautiful girl who had raven black hair and skin as white as snow."

"Snow White?" Cat asked.

"No," Jade said. "Now shut up and listen to my story."

Cat said nothing and Jade continued.

"Her parents were perfect angels. They opened their hearts up to everyone who needed it. This girl knew that she would never be able to be half the angel that her parents were, so she became the opposite."

"The devil?" Cat interrupted.

"Hush," Jade chided again. "You want a story or not?

Cat lifted her hand to run an imaginary zipper across her lips.

"Not like the devil, no. But she wasn't as sweet as she could be. She was harsh and brutally honest, and not everyone liked her because of it. But she wasn't just different from her parents. She knew that she was different from other girls her age. When she was younger, she didn't want to play with dolls or wear pretty pink dresses or sparkly shoes. She wore jeans and t-shirts. One time, she had a dream where she was dressed like that and looked like a boy, and she was kissing this beautiful girl with long blonde hair who was in her class. In her dream, she was happy. But when she woke up, she was scared."

Cat watched as Jade's eyes fluttered shut and she continued with her story.

"In elementary school, she was only friends with the boys. She and the boys would roughhouse constantly, and they saw her as just one of the guys. She had cuts and scrapes on her white skin, and she was proud of them, just like all the boys were. In middle school, she realized that the girl characters on TV were always her favorite. She dressed like a girl, acted like a girl and felt like a girl, but she liked girls too."

Cat fought to urge to reach out and wipe away the stray tear that escaped Jade's closed eye.

"It was too much for her, so she ignored it," Jade said. "She buried it deep inside her."

"And then what?" Cat asked.

"And then the girl met a beautiful princess with hair like fire and eyes like the hot coffee that the girl always loved. This princess was different. At first, the girl thought that she needed to help the princess. The princess was lost and she had seen a huge war breakout in the kingdom where she was from, and she was still hurt from the war. But soon, the girl realized that she was wrong. It wasn't her job to help the princess. The princess's destiny was to help the girl."

"And did she help?"

"She did. She taught the girl how to love again. She melted the ice that the girl had covered her heart in. And though the girl knew that she would never in her life be the angel that her parents were, she knew that as long as she had the princess beside her, she would never turn into a monster. The princess taught her how to love. And so, in thanks, the girl kissed the princess, and the princess told her that she was perfect in her eyes."

"They fell in love?"

"They did. They fell in love. And the princess taught the girl to be comfortable in who she loved and who she was, and the girl was happier than she ever thought she could ever be in her life. And the two got married at a huge, wonderful wedding, and they lived happily ever after. The end."

Cat giggled. "You said you were bad at stories. I liked it."

Jade rolled her eyes and groaned. "That was the most sickly sweet thing I've ever said in my life. I think I got cavities from just saying it out loud."

"It was the best story ever." Cat pressed a kiss to Jade's jaw and snuggled her face in the crook of the taller girl's neck.

"Goodnight Jade," she mumbled.

Jade reached over and tapped on the light beside her bed to throw the room into complete darkness. "Goodnight princess."

* * *

**So, i thought that after such a heavy chapter, i needed to add that bit of fluffy fluff at the end to lighten to mood.**

**No promises as to my updating again before the next weekend, because all this week i'm being swamped with AP tests (why couldn't i just have been a normal senior and have not taken any real classes? No, i needed to be an over acheiver and now i have to do four AP tests). But either next weekend or around monday/tuesday, i will try to have an update for you guys. i promise.**

**Reviews make me happy :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**ugh all of my testing is finally done. it was a long and terrible process. on the plus side, i'm basically done with school for the year and can just chill for the next month or so until graduation.**

**And, i get to focus more on this story :)**

**this is chapter 14. normally, this would be my last chapter. I rarely go on past fourteen chapters, but there are just so many additional things that i want to happen, so i can't bring this story to a close just yet. However, i do not see this exceeding 20 chapters. **

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

Sunday Morning, Jade was up again, but this time by her own choice. At four in the morning, she carefully detached herself from Cat's sleepy grasp and dressed herself in a pair of black shorts, her favorite sweatshirt and her only pair of sneakers. Without even a cup of coffee, Jade grabbed her cell phone and headed out the door.

She wasn't the type to jog. Not really. She couldn't imagine taking part in a cross country team or anything like that, but the jogging gave her room to think and be by herself. Her feet hit the pavement harder with every step, and her jaw clenched tightly as she tried to focus on her breathing. She took a deep breath of the chilly LA air into her lungs.

After a while, the air stung her throat and she tried to focus on breathing through her nose like her Phys Ed teacher told her to do. The muscles in her calves burned, but she only slowed slightly. The street lights started to turn off and the sun began to rise above the houses, turning the dark blue sky into shades of pink and orange.

It was a beautiful sunrise.

But sunrises are a funny thing. Jade remembered something her science teacher told her years ago that always stuck with her.

Sunrises are always colors that seem to be scattered across the sky in breath taking colors. Artists paint them and authors write about how captivating they can be. Directors and poets use them to convey a mood or set a scene. But they don't know the science behind it.

The reason that they sky turns colors is because there are so many particles in the air. The more particles, the more vibrant the hues. Its pollution, basically.

Jade always thought it was funny how the beauty of a sunset can come from a polluted sky. But that seemed to be the way that a lot of the world worked. The reason why you ever got to experience anything good was because there was a whole lot of bad behind it.

One cannot experience happy if they never know the sad.

Jade stopped at the end of a street, panting. She had been running for hours.

She knew exactly where she was. She was not too far from Robbie's house.

Robbie.

Jade was never a huge fan of the kid, but everything that happened since Cat came into Jade's life has caused Jade to want to be the leader of a Robbie hate-group. He couldn't seem to take no for an answer. Cat didn't want him. Cat wanted Jade.

That in and of itself was a funny statement.

Jade wasn't a stranger to people being attracted to her. But it was always on a physical level. They thought she was hot, which was understandable. But her personality always threw them off. She was sadistic and mean, and she scared people. But not Cat.

They were an interesting combination. Cat's sweeter-than-sugar personality and Jade's spicy and bitter brashness should have never worked.

But it always had.

By the time Jade got home, her cell phone showed it was after eight. She barely made it through the front door before a very excited head of red hair zoomed over to her and began jumping up and down.

"Can we do something today?" she asked.

Jade took her time taking off her sneakers. The top was rubbing against her ankle and she was certain she would develop a blister. She cursed herself for not thinking about wearing higher socks.

"Like what?" she asked.

"We could go to the beach," Cat suggested with a shrug.

Jade groaned. "I hate the beach. I'm too pale for the beach. I burn."

Cat pouted out her lower lip and fluttered her eyelashes gently. "Please?" she asked.

Jade found herself staring. She hated the inner turmoil going on within her head. She was to choose between Cat's happiness and the health of her own skin.

"The beach?" she asked. "Seriously?"

"What about Santa Monica pier?" Cat asked with a smile. "I love it there. There's all the lights, and the rides, and the games, and the ferris wheel, and the yummy cotton candy. I love cotton candy. But only the pink kind. I know that it's basically the same thing, but the blue kind just doesn't taste right to me. Its sacrilegious."

She continued to smile at Jade, who was mildly surprised at Cat's use of the word sacrilegious.

"Sure." Jade had no idea why, but she was pretty sure that she would have said yes to anything Cat had asked. The thought of that kinda freaked her out.

Cat bounced up and down on her toes. "Yay!" she said, turning around to head up the stairs. "I'm gonna wear my pretty pink bikini!"

The hour long car ride from Hollywood to Santa Monica was filled with music. Cat and Jade had what one could only call a full blown jam out session. Jade loved how well their voices meshed together. She had this gravelly soul to her while Cat's voice was lilting lullabies. When they sang, it was the perfect collaboration of Jade's raw emotion and Cat's strong power.

Even though Cat's mouth was singing, her mind was elsewhere. Her mind was focused on the girl sitting beside her. It was weird that Jade knew so much about Cat and her family, but Jade rarely spoke of her own. Then again, Cat was living with the Wests. But Jade never volunteered any additional information, except for when Cat asked invasive questions that Jade sometimes chose not to answer.

But Cat gave. She gave more information than sometimes she thought even she could handle. She told Jade her biggest secrets and shared her darkest fears. Right now, she and Jade were driving to the very place where Cat spent so much time as a child when she was trying to escape her parents. She would hop on her pink bicycle and ride it all the way down to the pier, hoping to evade the yelling and the screaming and instead surround herself with the joy that was the pier.

Jade realized that Cat's melodic voice was suddenly subtracted from the confined space of the car and looked over at her. They were finally driving right along the water, making their way closer to the pier so they wouldn't have too far of a walk. Cat's eyes were glued to the window.

Jade knew that Cat was from Santa Monica. She wasn't entirely sure where, but Santa Monica wasn't exactly a huge city. It couldn't have been more than ten square miles, so it was safe to say that Cat wasn't from too far away.

Jade could only imagine the memories. Cat had flashbacks when even just the tiniest thing happened. Sometimes, Jade didn't even know what it was exactly that would trigger her. She was sure that being literally surrounded in her past couldn't possibly be the ideal situation for someone dealing with post-traumatic stress. But, this is what Cat wanted. She wanted to come here, and so Jade drove her.

Jade turned down the volume on the radio. "You okay?" she asked.

Cat's head snapped around, looking into Jade's eyes with a startled expression. "I'm good," she said. "You could probably park in one of those streets over there," she said, pointing slightly more inland. "I think I remember there being a big parking lot about two blocks down."

Jade nodded and steered not questioning it anymore.

She wanted Cat to be okay. She wanted for Cat to not have to suffer through the panic attacks she so regularly experienced. She wanted for Cat to not have been taken away from her home and thrown into the houses of strangers. She wanted for Cat to have been born into a normal family who loved and cared for their amazing daughter. But if that had happened, Jade would have never met Cat.

Jade parked the car and the two of them went towards the trunk to grab their tote bags. Jade placed her large black hat on her head, protecting her almost translucent skin from the hot Santa Monica sun. Cat on the other hand, with her naturally tanned Italian skin, wore just the flimsiest of yellow shirts and a pair of what could have been denim underwear over a bright pink bikini. Before they left the house, Jade had told her to put on some sunscreen as she rubbed her SPF 100 all over her exposed skin, but Cat just giggled, insisting that she had never been sunburned in her life.

The little redhead all but skipped a few steps in front of Jade as they walked towards the shore.

Cat plopped her bag down on the sand and instantly stripped herself of her shorts. Jade couldn't seem to keep her eyes of Cat's toned stomach as she stretched her arms up over her head to take off her shirt. Jade's eyes followed her and she giggled and ran down the beach towards the water.

Jade lay her deep red towel down on the sand and took a seat, feeling the salty air flow through her hair and ruffling the edges of the black dress she wore over her bikini. Her gaze remained in the other girl, jumping through the low waves by herself. In the crowd of dozens of people frolicking in the water, Cat stood out.

Cat turned around and looked over at Jade, smiling and waving her over. Jade shook her head, and so Cat ran up the sand towards her.

"Come on Jadey," Cat said, bouncing on her toes in excitement. "The water is fun!"

"I'm not really a beach person," Jade admitted. "I'm more of a city girl. The sand always gets in uncomfortable places and the water makes your hair and frizzy and gross. And there are fish and sharks and octopi in the water. And little kids pee in there. And there is a whole bunch of crap because people just throw their garbage-"

Cat completely ignored everything she said and grabbed Jade by the arm, pulling her quickly up to her feet. "Come on," she whined. "I want to go in the water, but I want to go in the water with _you_."

Jade looked down into Cat's eyes. The sun was shining on them in just the right way to make her normal deep chocolate to look like liquid gold.

Jade sighed and freed her arm from Cat's grasp and pulled down the straps of her dress, letting it fall to the sand before she stepped out of it. She kicked off her flip-flops and felt the warmth of the sand between her toes. She felt Cat's gaze on her body the entire time. Jade tried her hardest not to think about it at all or else a blush would find its way to her cheeks.

Cat smiled widely and grabbed her by the hand, weaving their fingers together while Jade let Cat guide her through the maze of towels and umbrellas as they made their way towards the water.

The moment the edge of a wave tickled against Jade's toes, she jumped back.

"Fuck that's cold," she hissed. She dropped Cat's hand and took a few steps back.

"You get used to it," Cat said with a shrug. She turned around and began walking deeper into the water, stopping when it hit her knees.

Jade took a tentative step closer, letting the chilly water run over her feet and up to her ankles. She looked up to glance at Cat when the sight of something caught her eye.

With Cat's back to her, Jade saw her body unobstructed by anything other than the flimsy string tied at the back of her bikini. White and pink lines stood out in stark contrast against her beautifully tanned skin. Some of the lines where no thicker than a strand of hair and were only seen as a sliver of silver when the sun shone of them in the right way. Others were as thick as Jade's finger. The largest one ran diagonally across her back from her left shoulder blade down to the right side of her waist.

Jade found her feet pulling her forward, ignoring what felt like a thousand little icicles stabbing through her skin as she inched her way towards Cat. With an extended arm, she placed her feather-like fingers on the scar on her shoulder bade, slowly running her fingers down its length to the waist. Cat's motions stilled as she anticipated Jade's next move.

Cat knew exactly where Jade's fingertips were. She could feel the ghostly sensation of her touch trailing across physical memories. Cat felt her heart beating in her throat. She wasn't one to get nervous, but she knew what Jade was seeing.

Jade hadn't really _seen_ Cat before this. Not really. Other than the line on her forearm, Jade hadn't seen any of the physical reminders of Cat's past. No, Cat was pretty good about that. Over the years, makeup had become her best friend.

Cat didn't have a problem with her scars. They didn't bother her. They bothered other people. When she didn't need to, she didn't worry about covering things up. But she knew that instantly, other people had ideas of where they came from. Cat didn't need to speculate. She knew the story behind every single one of them, and the sight brought the memories forward.

She remembered where she was and what was happening when she got the cut on her forearm, the lashes on her back, the cigarette burns on her upper arm, the thin lines of a kitchen knife on her thighs, the pale white line along her left cheek bone.

Nothing a little makeup couldn't fix.

But this was Jade. Jade was seeing all of Cat. She had her fingertips running up and down the largest scar on Cat's body; one that extended nearly the full length of her back. Cat found herself struggling to stay upright on her feet. It was as if only the steady pressure of Jade's fingers on her back were keeping Cat grounded with the real world.

Even though she was surrounded by the voices of dozens of people, the constant sound of seagulls and water crashing at her feet, the sudden sound of Jade's voice made Cat jump.

"I'm not gonna freak out," Jade said. "If that's what you're worried about."

Cat didn't say anything. She knew from years with her father that silence is the best way to keep someone talking. And sure enough, after a beat Jade continued.

"I know you're worried about something, so there's really no point in you trying to deny that bit. I just want you to know that _this_," she said, running her hand down Cat's back one more time, making the smaller girl shiver at her touch even in the hot California sun, "doesn't bother me. It doesn't, and it never will."

At that, Cat turned around. "You don't think they're ugly?" her voice cracked and she dipped her chin down to her chest.

Jade didn't hesitate for a moment before reaching out and delicately cupping Cat's chin within her own pale fingers, lifting her head up to meet her eyes.

"Don't you _ever_ think that," Jade ordered. "It is impossible for _any_ part of you to be ugly."

With Jade's hand under her chin, Cat couldn't look away. Instead, she shut her eyes as she said, "They're not the only ones."

Cat didn't need to be looking at Jade to sense the shift in the girl's demeanor. Jade felt a pang in her gut at the thought that Cat has more marks on her body to remind her of the hell she used to live.

A tear began to escape from under Cat's shut eyelid.

"Listen to me," Jade said. "You are sweet, and funny, and talented, and absolutely beautiful. A couple scars doesn't change that at all." She let go of Cat's chin and let her hand slide down Cat's arm until she could lace their fingers together. "Come on," she said. "Lets go sit on the towel."

They make their way over to where Jade's dark red towel is laid out beside Cat's pink unicorn one, and they take a seat as Jade opens up her bag to take out water bottles. Cat quickly drinks half of her bottle before taking it away from her lips with a satisfied sigh.

Jade was saying nothing. She was sitting on the towel, leaning back on her arms with her knees bent loosely in front of her. Her toes played with the warm sand and she looked forward out at the crashing water, tasting the salt on her lips.

Cat thought _she_ looked beautiful. It was impossible for Jade to _not_ look beautiful. She was like the hypnotic version of snow white, with her pale white skin and raven black hair. The hair fell in loose waves down past her shoulders, flowing ever so gently in the warm breeze coming off the shore. The brim of her wide hat danced atop her head delicately.

"Beauty is a funny thing," Jade declared, not turning her gaze away from the ocean in front of her. Cat curled her knees up to her chest and crossed her arms around her legs, resting her chin on the top of her knee so she could look at Jade as she spoke.

"They say it's in the eyes of the beholder," she continued. "They say a lot of bullshit about it. They say all this stuff about how everyone is beautiful in their own way and how looks don't really matter. That's entirely false. Looks do matter. Magazine covers are depicting what they think society views as beautiful. Thin waists, big boobs and pretty faces. They want flawless perfection."

Cat watched as Jade's face remained perfectly stoic. Her eyes were locked onto the deep water before her, shining in that same shade of deep green.

"I don't see beauty that way," Jade said. "Maybe it's because I'm dark and a little twisted, but I see beauty in the lives we lived. Its poetic to think about that space between the shadows of tragedy and the light of happiness. That's what your scars are. We all have scars. Both inside and out. Freckles from the sun, bad memories, broken bones and broken hearts. It's beautiful to have lived, really lived, and to have marks to prove it. Scars are a testament to our inner strength, and I couldn't think of anything any more beautiful."

Cat's eye remained locked on Jade's profile. "You're a really good writer," she said, and she watched the corner of Jade's lip curl up into just the tiniest of smiles.

She shrugged. "It's what I do. But everything I said is completely true."

Cat turned her head away from Jade and faced the ocean as well. The last thing she was expecting was for someone to ever tell her that her scars were beautiful. Cat never thought _any_ part of her was beautiful, let alone the marks that marred her otherwise flawless skin.

For as long as she could remember, her father never missed an opportunity to tell her that she was ugly. He would tell her every day, every time he glanced at her. He would tell her that she was fat and worthless and how no one would ever want to date someone as hideous as her.

After a while, she started to believe him.

Her mother started to join in with him. It was nothing like the monstrosities that he would throw her way, but she would always compare Cat to herself. She would tell Cat that she doesn't understand how Cat could look like that with such a beautiful mother. She started buying Cat makeup when she was in the fifth grade and forced her to use it.

_"Ow!" Cat exclaimed, tightly shutting her eye and moving her head back. "You poked my eyeball!"_

_Her mother sighed and grabbed the sharpener to give the eyeliner a thinner point. "Well if you just stopped fucking moving then we wouldn't have this problem."_

_"But it's scary! You're moving that pencil right up to my eye. I can't help but move. Besides, why do I have to wear this stuff anyway? None of the other girls in school wear makeup yet."_

_Her mother snorted and grabbed Cat's chin harshly, setting it into place. "None of the other girls are as ugly as you."_

Jade's heart broke as she watched tears fall from Cat's eyes. She knew that expression. Cat was retreating onto herself and having a flashback.

"Cat," Jade said softly. She slowly reached her hand out to touch Cat's forearm. The moment she made contact with Cat's skin, brown eyes snapped up to hers and tears fell harder. Without warning, Cat threw herself at Jade and sobbed.

Jade was slightly taken aback. Not because of the sobbing, but because Cat was sobbing on her shoulder. No one would ever have dared to embrace Jade West, of all people, in such a way. They would fear that she would bite them and rip their heads off the moment their skin touched hers. And, she doesn't think that's too much of a stretch. She always made it a very public fact that she does not like being touched by anyone under any circumstance, unless she gives them permission.

And yet, here was Cat, the epitome of sweet innocence trying to find comfort in the cold hearted snake that was Jadelyn West.

Jade reached her arms around Cat to envelop her in her arms.

Cat pulled away from Jade and wiped at her tear stained face. "Sorry I'm so needy and crying." Jade shook her head.

"No, it's okay. That's what I'm here for," Jade declared, and Cat did her best to give Jade a little smile. "Even if that mean you're getting your snot all over me."

Cat laughed at that, which was exactly what Jade was hoping for.

"You wanna get out of here?" Jade asked. "I know our beach trip is a little shorter than what we were expecting it to be, but I have a surprise for you."

Instantly, Cat's face lit up. "A surprise?" It was as if her tears were forgotten and a smile was plastered on her face.

Jade chuckled. "Yeah. We'll go grab something to eat and then we'll go check out your surprise."

Jade sat back with a grin on her face when Cat quickly jumped up and began folding up her towel, throwing her shirt back over her bikini and picking up her sandals.

"Let's go eat!" she declared. Her voice was urging Jade to hurry up. "I'm starving."

After a quick run to a little vegan restaurant Jade found on her phone, she and Cat hopped back into the car. Jade quickly realized that driving an excited Cat was similar to driving with an impatient eight year old.

"Are we there yet?" Cat asked for the fifth time. Jade sighed and ever so slightly turned the radio on a little bit louder. She thought Cat was absolutely adorable, but there was only so much adorableness that Jade could take at once.

"Twenty more minutes, Cat."

Cat's face was basically plastered to the window. She knew that they had driven away from Santa Monica and were heading back to Los Angeles, but not towards Hollywood, where Jade lived. No, they were driving towards East LA; more east than Cat had ever gone before.

"Can you tell me where we're going?"

"By the very definition of the word "surprise", no, I cannot tell you where we're going," Jade said. She had stopped turning towards Cat to answer her and instead kept her gaze forward. She didn't need to be looking at Cat to hear her grumble and cross her arms across her chest.

Jade fought back a grin.

They pulled up to the curb on a city street that was one of the less busy ones. It didn't quite look so wonderfully pristine as the other parts of LA. Some of the buildings had crumbling bricks, and many were covered in graffiti. There was a huge mural on the side of what looked to be a convenience store. A group of five guys were standing on a street corner the next block over drumming wildly on a group of garbage cans while another sang. It wasn't a song Cat had ever heard before, but it sounded amazing to her.

"Where are we?" Cat asked. Jade said nothing. She simply took Cat by the hand and just barely glanced in either direction before crossing the street with Cat in tow. Jade reached her hand out towards the door of a building that was completely covered in graffiti. Cat looked up at it skeptically. It didn't seem entirely… safe.

"You coming?" Jade asked, pushing the door open. The sound of a melodic piano instantly filled Cat's ears and she found her feet walking her forward towards the open door, trusting in Jade and the sound of music.

The walls were painted a deep red and the floor was covered in a black shag carpet. Guitars of all shapes, colors and sizes hung from the ceiling in two neat rows, and the entire far wall of the building was covered in them. There were rows upon rows of sheet music in shelves similar to that of a library. Electric keyboards and drum sets where everywhere. There was a portion of the left wall that was entirely covered in cymbals.

"OZ!" Jade called. Her naturally gravelly voice rose to a comfortable yell, and instantly the piano ceased to play with an ending bam of clashing notes.

A guy's voice sounded from somewhere within the building. "Do my ears deceive me?" A man with a top hat on his shaggy black hair and a thin beard on his face rounded the corner. "Is a Miss Jadelyn August West actually gracing me with her presence?"

Jade smiled widely at the man. He was dressed in a pair of black skinny jeans tucked into a pair of dark grey high tops and a black blazer with leather piping atop plain white t-shirt. He had on more eyeliner than Jade did, a hoop in his lower lip and small gauges in both of his ear lobes.

"Oz my man. It's been too long," she said walking up to him and giving him a hug. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and squeezed, causing Jade to laugh.

When he let go, he turned towards Cat and tipped his hat with a curtsy. "And who is this lovely lady?"

"This is Cat," Jade said, walking over to her and taking her by the hand. Cat felt the coolness of Jade's fingers laced between her own. "We're here to get her a little something."

Cat looked up at Jade quizzically. "We are?"

"Yes." Jade pulled Cat along to the far side of the building where Cat found herself staring up at a wall of guitars.

Jade let go of Cat's hand and gave her just the tiniest little nudge towards the wall. "Take your pick."

Cat's eyes opened wide and she turned around completely to look at Jade, who was wearing a smug grin on her lips. "Whaat?!"

Jade cocked an eyebrow and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "You heard me. Any one you want."

Cat shook her head. "Jadey. They're expensive."

Jade shrugged. "I have a credit card. And you're worth it."

Cat heard Oz whistle from over by the counter. "Well hot damn. Looks like Jade has found herself smitten with a cute little lady."

"Shut up," she called over her shoulder, and Cat could see a tiny blush creeping up to her cheeks, causing Cat to giggle.

"Are you sure?" Cat asked.

"Positive. Now pick one. The prettiest one you see."

Cat turned around and faced the wall, clasping her hands behind her back and swinging from side to side as she looked intently at all her choices. There were probably a hundred in the room in front of her, and Jade wanted her to pick? She didn't want something too extravagant, knowing that Jade was going to be paying for it. But she knew that if she picked the cheapest one she could find, Jade would insist she pick another.

"See anything you like?" Jade asked.

"A lot. But I can't pick."

Jade nodded and took a step towards Cat. "Close your eyes," she instructed, and Cat did as she was told. "Electric or acoustic?"

"Acoustic."

"Dreadnaught or parlor?"

"Dreadnaught." Cat sensed Jade walk away from her side and her voice sounded farther away.

"Cutaway?"

"Yes," Cat said with a nod.

"Color?"

"Dark."

Cat heard a slight clanging against the wall and guessed that Jade was taking a guitar off the wall.

"Open your eyes," Jade's voice was very close, and when Cat opened her eyes, she saw Jade standing there with the most beautiful guitar Cat had ever seen in her life. The center was a paler brown, but it turned into a dark black as it edged towards the edges. There was a white swirled design cascading down from the corner of the cutaway and a red rose in the middle of the pick guard.

"It's beautiful," Cat gasped.

Jade got down on one knee and presented the guitar to Cat. "Your instrument m'lady," she said. Cat took the guitar from her hands and Jade quickly got up to grab a pale pink strap and hooked it to the guitar and watched as Cat put it around her neck.

It was the perfect size.

Oz came over with a stool and placed it down beside Cat. "You gonna play us a tune little lady?"

Cat sat down on the stool and thought for a moment, gently strumming her fingers over the strings. It was perfectly in tune. She tried thinking of a song to play, but only one came to mind. And so, she closed her eyes and began to play, gently plucking at strings in a slow melody before singing.

_Every time I see your smile it makes my heart beat fast._

_And though it's much too soon to tell, I'm hoping this will last._

_I just always wanna have you right here by my side._

_The future's clear but never certain, but please stay here for just tonight._

_I musta done something right to deserve you in my life_

_I musta done something right along the way._

Jade watched as Cat sang with her eyes closed, naturally swaying along with the music as her tiny hands expertly played the guitar. Oz stood beside her and gave her a gently nudge with his hip, smiling knowingly. Jade rolled her eyes and looked back at Cat when she started singing the second verse.

_I just can't get you off my mind and why would I even try?_

_'Cause even when I close my eyes I dream about you all the time. _

_I just always wanna have you right here by my side. _

_The future's near but never certain. At least stay here for just tonight._

The sweet tones of Cat's voice dropped to a soulful rhythm as she hit the lowest notes of the song. The very sound it of it sent child down Jade's spine.

_And even if the moon fell down tonight, _

_There'd be nothing to worry about at all because you make the whole world shine._

_As long as you're here everything will be alright._

_I musta done something right to deserve you in my life._

_I musta done something right along the way._

Her voice trailed off and the last notes of the guitar echoed throughout the room before Cat opened her eyes sheepishly and locked them straight onto Jade's.

"Well well _well_!" Oz said with a wide grin. "Looks like our little lady is quite the talented songbird. If I'm not mistaken, this guitar seems to be the perfect fit. Do we agree?"

Cat looked up at Jade, who nodded. "Sure is. Ring it up, please?"

Oz took the guitar from Cat. "Go pick out a set of picks if you'd like. And complimentary book of some sheet music."

Cat grinned and skipped away. Jade followed him over to the counter and whipped out her credit card.

"She really is something," Oz said, typing in the 25% employee discount that he gets and giving it to Jade.

She grinned and swiped the black piece of plastic through the machine, not wanting to look at the price. "You have no idea."

Oz chuckled. "Well, I gotta have some idea since she's the only person in the world with the power to tame this savage beast."

Jade chuckled and rolled her eyes. "Shut the fuck up."

"When'd you and Beck split?"

Jade sighed. "Officially, a couple weeks ago. But I think he and I both sensed that it was over between us way before it was actually _over_. You know?"

Oz nodded as he put the guitar in a black case with bright pink pinstripes. "I do. But she makes you happy. Happier than I've ever seen you with Beck."

"Yeah," Jade admitted, watching as Cat skipped back over to them. "She does."

Cat grinned obliviously as she placed the folder of sheet music and the set of picks in the zippered pocket in the front of the case.

"Thanks so much Jade," she said, standing up on her tiptoes to give Jade a kiss on the cheek. Jade couldn't bring herself to meet Oz's eyes.

"Have fun with your strings little lady," he said. "And I better be getting tickets to your first concert. You're amazing."

Cat grinned, showing off her adorable dimple. "Thanks."

"Yeah, thanks Oz," Jade said. "But we've gotta get going. See you later."

"Later darling."

Cat and Jade walked out the door and crossed the street to hop into Jade's car quickly. "He seems nice," Cat said as Jade started the car.

"He's awesome. I've known him for years. This is where I bought my piano, and keyboard, and every piece of official sheet music I've ever purchased. And he's taught me how to play drums right there in the back room. I've known him for years."

A song played on the radio and Jade turned it up, singing loudly. Cat didn't know the words, so she just sat back and watched as Jade gave herself away to the music. She looked more at peace than Cat had ever seen her before.

Cat waited until the song ended and she suddenly reached out and pressed the power button on the entire dashboard.

"Hey!" Jade exclaimed, glancing over at Cat for just a moment. "What up with that?"

"I like you," Cat said suddenly. "Like a lot. Like, a lot a lot. And I know you like me too. And I just need to know, are we dating? Is this dating? It seriously feels like dating. We laugh and go out to eat together, and we both like each other, and you buy me things and you're nice to me and it's just like dating except with less kissing. But I don't mind the fact that there's less kissing. It's just different. And you're the first girl that I've been in this situation with, so I don't really know how this is supposed to work and-"

"God BREATHE Cat!," Jade laughed. "You're gonna turn blue in the face and pass out right there in the passenger seat."

Cat took a deep breath and sank deeper into the seat. "So, are we dating? Like, are you my girlfriend?"

Jade paused for a moment and kept her eyes forward. Her heart was beating erratically. She was certain that this is what having a heart attack felt like, but she kept her face composed and stoic.

"Do you want me to be your girlfriend?" she asked, surprising even herself at how calm her voice was.

"Yeah," Cat whispered, turning herself around completely in the seat so that she was facing Jade. "I do. If you do."

Jade risked a look to the right and bit her lower lip. "Of course I do," she said. "I would be honored to call you my girlfriend."

Cat reached over and grabbed Jade's hand, linking their fingers together and smiling down at the alternating tan and pale. She could feel Jade's heart beating through her palm and gave her hand just the tiniest of squeezes before reaching back over and turning the radio on, never letting go of Jade's hand.

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**The song is "If the Moon Fell Down" by Chase Coy**

** I would like to take this time to say that the greater majority of this chapter, about two thirds of it actually, were typed into my calculator. Yes, you read that correctly. Yesterday, i had my AP Statistics exams, and i finished both of the sections with like, 40 minutes to spare (each was an hour and a half) and so i spent that time typing my story into the notes section of my snazy pink graphing calculator. It took me way too long to retype all of that into Microsoft Word so i could upload it on here haha**

**Reviews make me happy :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**I'm sorry i'm sorry i'm so incredibly sorry. There are absoltuly no excuses for why on earth it has taken me this incredibly long to write this chapter. i knew what i wanted to happen, but i couldn't visualize everything in a cohesive peice. then, by the time i did (with a little help from a friend ;) ) i just couldn't find the time to honestly sit down in front of my computer and just _write_. Damn life and it constantly getting in my way.**

**Regardless, this chapter is a bit more tense than the one prior (gotta balance the happy touchy feely with the angsty drama), so i hope this satisfies your appetite for that.**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

Jade's fingers played the last few notes on the piano as Cat's final guitar chord echoed in the classroom. The room erupted in a chorus of cheers and whistles and both girls were beaming.

Mrs. Curto stood up and smiled widely. "That was amazing. One of the best presentations I've seen on the topic in all my years here at Hollywood Arts. You girls both get A's. Well done."

The bell rang and the two started packing up their instruments. When Jade's keyboard was folded up, she took it in her hand and walked over to Cat, nudging her with her hip. "Wanna get out of here?" she asked.

Cat zipped up her guitar case and squinted up at Jade. "You mean ditch class?"

Jade shrugged. "Yeah. We can go walk this stuff out to my car and go grab lunch or something."

"Kay," Cat said slowly. She looked around to make sure no one was looking, but it seemed like everyone else had already left the room. She swung her backpack over her shoulder and followed Jade out of the classroom and through the halls, making sure no teachers were watching. Cat's eyes scanned the ceiling to see if there were any cameras pointed at them.

Jade opened the front door and held it open for Cat. That was when she saw the panic in Cat's eyes and her lower lip between her teeth.

"Relax," Jade said, letting the door fall shut behind them. "No one's gonna say anything. You're not gonna get in trouble."

She opened the trunk of her car and placed the keyboard inside. Cat had to lay her guitar across the back seats. "You sure?" Cat asked.

"Positive."

Jade drove to a little pizzeria down the block and they each had a slice of a salad pizza filled with all their favorite veggies.

"Did you talk to Tori today?" Cat asked as she finished her slice.

Jade took a long sip of her lemonade. "No. Why?"

"She's having a party tonight at her house and we're invited."

"Of course we are," Jade said with a chuckle. "We're the only interesting people she knows."

Cat looked up at her with wide eyes. "That's not very nice, Jade."

"I'm not very nice."

Cat took a sip of her iced tea. "So we're going, right?"

Jade thought for a moment. "Sure. I can't possibly think of any worse way to spend my time."

"Yay! I love parties!" Jade bit the inside of her cheek to fight the smile tugging at her lips over the redhead's voice.

A long day of school tired both girls out and by the time 6pm rolled around, both were looking forward to the party. Cat ran into Jade's room with her arms full of clothes, showing her every outfit option. The pile of clothes on Jade's bedspread looked like a rainbow blew up.

Jade barely thought twice about her own outfit of a black ruffled skirt atop a pair of ripped lace tights that tucked into her favorite pair of studded combat boots. She threw on a deep royal purple blouse and her scissor necklace long before Cat even decided that she wanted to wear a skirt. It took them at least twenty minutes for Jade to convince Cat to just put on a blue and red floral skirt with a lime green tank top under a blue cardigan. She strapped up a pair of bright pink sandals and ran her fingers through her hair before turning to Jade and announcing she was finally ready.

"We're going out," Cat called to Mrs. West, bouncing down the stairs with Jade following close behind. "We'll be home later."

Mrs. West came out of the kitchen, drying her hands with a dish towel. "Where are you going?"

"Out," Jade said coldly, slipping on her black jacket and taking her keys out of the pocket.

"To Tori's house!" Cat chirped. She reached over and laced her fingers through Jade's and smiled up at Mrs. West. Jade watched as her mother's gaze fell down to their interlocked fingers and something shifted within her. It was a level of possessiveness that she didn't know she could feel. Her hand moved within Cat's to envelop it completely within her own and her back straightened, lengthening her already tall frame.

"Well you two are awfully smitten," Mrs. West observed. "Are you two a thing now?"

Cat looked up at Jade and saw rage in the girl's eyes. It was like Jade was challenging her mother. "Yes, Mom," she said. "We are. Cat is my girlfriend."

Cat could feel there was something threatening in Jade's tone. There was no word for what it was exactly, but it resonated through the room and latched itself deep within Cat's mind. It was a cross of fear and venom.

Cat never understood the relationship between Jade and her mother. There were times when the two seemed to get along well, but they were just so different. It was as if Jade's mother was trying desperately to form a bond with her daughter, but she didn't quite understand Jade's eccentricity. At the same time, Jade tried to find ways to relate to her mother, but she was fed up with her mother's attitude about her.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" The tone of Mrs. West's voice was even and her natural chipper was gone.

"Do you have a problem with me dating a girl?"

Mrs. West hesitated for a moment. "Jadelyn, you know very well I have nothing against gay people and their life styles. "

Jade's shoulders lifted just a touch, as if her body was making itself larger and more menacing. At five foot eight, she was tall enough to begin with. "That doesn't answer my question," she challenged.

"You've always been very outspoken," her mother said. "You've always been an intelligent child and I've always had respect for your…creativity. I'm your only mother. I love you unconditionally. But it's because of this love that I have concerns. Don't you want to be married and have children and live a normal life?"

Cat's gaze fell to the floor and her hand became sweaty within Jade's grasp. She never was one to do well with confrontation, and here she was in the middle of an uncomfortable situation between Jade and her mother where she herself was the topic of discussion.

"Married? I don't know. Kids? I don't know. Normal? Definitely not," Jade said firmly. "But whatever it is I do end up doing with my life, will it really be such a fucking big deal if Cat is my girlfriend?"

Jade's mother's eyes hardened to a deeper green than Cat had ever seen them before. "Language," she reprimanded. "But this is just a phase, Jade. You're not… a lesbian."

Jade released Cat's hand from her own and brought them up in a dramatic shrug. "I don't know," she said honestly. "Maybe I'm gay. Maybe I'm bi. Who knows right now? But the question is, does the label really matter? Can't the feelings be enough?"

"But what about Beck?"

"So, I dated Beck. Does it matter? Can't I just be myself and not worry about it?"

Mrs. West eyed Cat for just a moment. "But you know of her past," she said.

"And? Everyone has a past. Everyone has skeletons in their closet. Some are just worse than other people's. But does that mean that they're unworthy of life? Having a painful past doesn't make someone damaged beyond the point of repair."

Jade's mother said nothing, and a few tense seconds passed between them before Jade took Cat's hand within her own again.

"Come on, Cat," she mumbled. "Let's go to the party."

They were almost out the door before Mrs. West's voice reached their ears. "I still think you're making a mistake."

Jade turned around and faced her mother. This was her _mom_. This was the woman who conceived, birthed and raised her. This is the woman who essentially taught Jade to be herself no matter what and to never let other people change her values. This is the woman who taught her how to be herself whether she wanted to or not.

"Maybe," Jade said honestly. "And maybe it'll be the best mistake of my life."

Mrs. West had nothing more to say as she watched Jade and Cat get in the car and drive away.

"I'm sorry," Jade said once she rounded the corner at the end of her street. "I wish you didn't have to see that."

"Don't worry about it," Cat said weakly. "Are you okay?"

"Yupp." Jade's voice was cold as she stared straight ahead. Cat tried to think of something to say, but nothing seemed appropriate. She reached out and turned on the music, letting the soft strumming of guitars fill the tiny car before reaching out to the steering wheel to pry Jade's fingers from around it and envelop them within her own tiny grasp.

Jade had nothing to say. Of course she wasn't fine, but it wasn't even an option to admit that out loud. She didn't have an answer for Cat. She didn't want to talk about it. She had finally gotten that whole conversation with her mother off her chest and now it was out in the open, but she didn't want to have to dissect the whole thing. So rather than talk, she just let Cat play with her fingers until the pulled up to Vega's driveway.

Cat bounced up to the doorway and rang the bell multiple times before a smiling Tori Vega greeted them just as Jade made her way up to the front porch.

"Hey guys," Tori said, "Come on in." Cat quickly grabbed Jade's hand within her own again and pulled her into the living room where music was playing and the gang was hanging out around the bright red couches. Andre and Beck were having a serious game of Dance Dance Revolution. Jade could see how Robbie's eyes moved from watching their game to trailing after her and Cat as they made their way towards the kitchen.

"Wow," Jade said with a chuckle, examining one of the bottles on the table. "Vega is treating us all with beer?"

Tori shrugged and walked over to them taking a seat in one of the bar stools at the table and handed Jade a bottle opener. "Why not? May make the party just a bit more exciting."

Jade chuckled again and brought the glass bottle up to her full lips and took a long swig. She looked down and saw Cat twisting back and  
forth on her feet, looking up at Jade.

"You want one?" Jade asked carefully, knowing very well that Cat's father was an alcoholic. Cat shook her head and looked down at the ground. Jade wrapped her arm around the smaller girl's waist, pulling her in close against her side. She didn't miss the way Tori smiled at them.

"So are you two finally a thing?" she asked.

Cat's face broke into a smile and leaned against Jade's lion like frame, listening as Jade spoke.

"Yupp," she said. "I guess we are. Can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I've got you to thank, Vega."

Tori furrowed her eyebrows. "Me? How?"

"Because Beck and I broke up because of a fight about you. Because you were the first person I opened up to about my feelings for Cat. Because even though I think you're an annoying, whiny little bitch, you're still okay."

Tori smiled. "I take that as a compliment."

Jade lifted her beer up to her lips and spoke around the rim of the glass bottle. "Yeah, you really shouldn't," she mumbled before taking a sip.

"Yo tori!" Andre called from over by the couch. "Chips bowl empty. Got more?"

Tori rummaged through her kitchen cupboards and frowned. "Don't think so, sorry."

Andre shrugged. "It's cool. I'll just hop out and go grab some more."

"No no no. You've been drinking for the past two and a half hours. You're not driving."

"Well so have you," he pointed out. "And I wants me some salty goodness."

Tori turned around and looked at Jade with a sweet smile. "Jade. You haven't been here quite as long and haven't had nearly as much to drink. You think you could hop out to the grocery store and buy a couple bags of chips? I'll totally pay you back."

Jade waved the now nearly empty bottle in her hand in front of Tori's face. "I've been drinking too. What? You don't care about whether or not I get into an accident?"

Tori was about to answer when Cat's hand slowly rose. "I could drive," she offered, shifting back and forth on her feet.

Jade looked down towards her. "You don't have a license."

Cat shrugged. "Doesn't mean I don't know how to drive."

Jade thought about it for a moment before turning back to Tori with a smirk. "Good enough for me." She reached into her pocket and handed the little redhead her keys.

Cat's eyes lit up and she skipped towards the door. "Come on, Jadey!" she called over her shoulder. Jade walked towards her voice and she heard Tori making a whipping noise behind her. Jade's head spun back quickly and shot a deadly glare in Tori's direction, but the Latina only smirked as she walked over to the couch and plopped down on the seat beside Beck.

"Totally whipped for your girl," she said. Robbie's head snapped up and he looked at Jade.

"You guys are together?" he asked. "Like, _together_ together?"

Jade raised a brow. "Yupp," she announced simply. "You got a prob, Bob?"

She didn't give Robbie the chance to answer before walking out the door and towards her car where Cat was already sitting, waiting.

As soon as Jade's door shut behind her, Cat had the car moving down the road. Jade smiled at the level of obvious concentration Cat was putting into this. She kept both hands up on the steering wheel and was perched slightly forward in her seat, looking straight out the window.

"So if you don't have your license, where'd you learn to drive?" Jade asked.

"A friend taught me last year. And I don't have my license because I couldn't pass the written portion of the test." She looked over at Jade for just a fraction of a second and frowned slightly. "I'm not a good test taker."

The two pulled into the parking lot outside the nearest grocery store and hopped out. "But you know all the answers? Like, you know how to drive?" Jade asked as she opened the door for Cat and a little bell rang over their heads.

"Yeah. I mean, I can get from place to place when I need to. But I don't have a car of my own. Or a license, so I need to try really hard to not do anything to make me get pulled over or that'd be bad."

They rounded the corner around an isle and Jade turned to Cat to say something when she saw a drop in Cat's smile and her eyes grow wide. She took in the sudden darkness of the redhead's earlier bright eyes and followed Cat's gaze and sees her looking at a woman with light brown hair who was reading through the nutritional facts on the back of a bag of pretzels.

"Who's that?" Jade asked. "You know her?"

Cat felt her hands beginning to shake and a lump rising in her throat, but she tried to speak around it. "Mom," she whispered. "That's my mother."

The words were possibly the hardest she ever had to speak. They felt like vomit rising in her throat.

"Your mother?" Jade whispered, eyeing the brunette. "Why would she be here, Cat? She lives in Santa Monica. Are you sure it's her? It could just be a woman who looks like her."

Cat's head shook just as her legs began to quiver. "No, that's her," she said. "I don't know why she's here, but I'm positive that's her."

Cat watched her mother's motions. She watched how her hands elegantly danced through the air as they dropped the bag into her shopping cart. She watched as dainty fingers dripped the bar of the cart and began to turn it around. She watched as her mother turned to face the two girls and a spark of recognition ignited within the woman's eye.

Her hair was lighter. Her skin was tanner. Her lips a shade of red Cat had never seen her wear before. Her cheekbones were more prominent than Cat ever saw them being. Alarmingly so. She looked nothing like the woman Cat once knew. And yet, this was her mother. There was no doubt in her mind that the woman before her, dressed in a pair of off-white slacks and a pastel top. The woman with a necklace of pearls and a designer bag hanging from her shoulder. The woman whose eyes bore deep into those of the girl who she never treated like a daughter though she was biologically hers… this woman was her mother.

"Catarina?" she asked, abandoning the cart and taking a step towards them. Jade instinctually stepped in front of Cat, watching as this stranger's eyes roamed over Cat's body.

Cat felt a lump rising in her throat but tried to speak around it. "Mother." Her heart began pounding and her vision was getting blurry. She tried to fight it. She knew what was happening. She was having a panic attack. But she didn't want to. Not here. Not in front of her mother. She didn't want her mother to see that she was weak. She didn't want this woman to see that all of the things she permitted to occur in her house had damaged Cat. She wanted to cry and claw at herself or…_something_. But she didn't. Instead, she stood perfectly still.

"And who are you?" Ms. Valentine asked, setting her eyes on Jade. Cat looked up and was surprised at what she saw. Jade's plump lips had thinned and were pulled tightly against her teeth in a menacing snarl. Her eyes hardened and her eyebrows pulled together, causing her forehead to crease. It was scary.

"Jade," she said. "What are you doing here?"

Ms. Valentine laughed, airy and light. It traveled down the aisle and like a ghostly touch, caressed the contours of Cat's face. She wanted to run away. She wanted to crawl into a dark corner away from the people and the noises and the sight of her mother.

"Same as you, I guess," the woman said. "Food shopping."

"But why here?" Jade asked. "You're supposed to be in Santa Monica." After a beat she added, "Or prison."

Ms. Valentine's eyes hardened and images flashed through Cat's mind. Her mother's disappointed glare whenever Cat's grades at school weren't perfect. Her mom's icy stare when Cat expressed any desire to do something artsy or musical. Her angry eyes every Saturday morning when she would wake Cat up and force her to stand on a scale, chiding her if Cat gained even a fraction of a pound. Her mother never once lay a hand on her daughter. But, she didn't need to. Sometimes the words she said and the look in her eyes stung more than any slap of Mr. Valentine's hand on Cat's delicate skin.

"I am not to go to prison," Her mother spat. "I am not a criminal. And neither is my husband, however he is wrongly incarcerated for the next three years for _disciplining_ his child. I wasn't aware that was illegal."

Jade felt venom rising within her. She glanced down at Cat and the venom only rose more. Cat's eyes were wide and filled with terror. Her body quivered with panic. Jade could only imagine what Cat was feeling. Cat was staring straight into the eyes of the monster of her nightmares.

"You're fucking _kidding _me," Jade spat. She made sure to keep her voice quiet as to not attract attention in such a public space. Luckily, she didn't need volume to be menacing.

Jade could see something click within Ms. Valentine's eyes. Jade wanted to say that it was fear, but she wasn't sure if the monster was even capable of feeling such an instinctual emotion.

At her side, Cat was fighting a huge panic attack. The medication was helping, sure, but it wasn't foolproof. Her body was vibrating with uncontrollable nerves. Her heart was beating erratically. Her breathing was coming and going in short little bursts. Tears welled up in her eyes.

But the physical had nothing on the mental. Visions of her parents flashed through her head quickly. Scene after scene of the life she lived. Eveything from as young as Cat could remember.

Little five year old Cat hiding under the bed, trying to cry quietly so her father didn't hear her.

Six years old and cleaning the house from top to bottom while her drunken father spat disgusting profanities at her.

Eight year old Cat being told by her mother that she's fat and disgusting.

Nine years old and trying to surround herself in music to forget her father's touch.

Every year of her life popped into her mind, one right after the other. It was like a video montage of the terror. The voices filled her head. Her father's cussing. Her mother's bullying. Her father's raspy yell. Her mother's high pitched scream. It all grew to be too much and Cat found herself falling slowly.

Jade saw the movement and quickly, she caught Cat within her arms.

"Don't worry," she whispered, feeling as all of Cat's muscles twitched within her comforting grasp. "You're safe with me. I'll keep you safe."

Ms. Valentine eyed them curiously. "What's wrong with her?"

"You," Jade spat. "You did this to her. You and your monster of a husband. You ever think of what it'd do to a child to grow up in a hellhole like your house?"

"We were raising our daughter."

"No," Jade said sharply. "You were torturing her. Physically and mentally."

Ms. Valentine snorted. "It just goes to show that she's weak and disgusting and _broken_. I can't imagine how much of a mess she would be if she didn't have parents like us to discipline her."

Jade wanted to take a step forward towards this woman, but Cat was resting all of her weight against the taller girl. Her eyes were still tightly shut and Jade could see her chest rising and falling quickly and unevenly.

"You're not her parents," Jade said, shaking her head. "You may be biologically her mother, but to be a parent implies a level of care that honestly, you can't possibly possess. Secondly, she is not _broken_. She is stronger than you could ever imagine her to be. She is the strongest person I've ever met in my life. And you know what, I pity you."

Ms. Valentine's eyebrows rose. Jade hated how beautiful the woman was. Even though she was thin and frail, her features spoke of a natural beauty. Her hair shone naturally and delicately danced against her shoulders. Her lips were plump and red. Her large brown eyes sparkled.

Cat needed to have gotten her beauty from someone, but Jade hates the fact that it was from this monster of a woman.

"_Pity_ me?" she asked. "Why on earth would _you_ pity someone like _me_?"

"Because you're never going to get the chance to really get to know Cat and see what an amazingly wonderful person she is."

Jade grabbed three bags of chips and wrapped her arm comfortably around Cat's waist and braced her up as they walked down the aisle and towards the register. By the time they got to the car, Cat's breathing had slowed down a bit and she wasn't shaking nearly as much, but ghosts of the visions still lingered in her mind. Jade decided she would drive and just let Cat relax in the passenger seat.

"I'm sorry," she said softly. Her voice was hoarse and broken. Jade learned that these panic attacks often drained the small girl of energy.

"Never apologize to me," Jade said. "Never for something like this. You did nothing wrong."

Cat nodded and just watched the expressions on Jade's face as they drove back to Tori's. Jade put the car into park and turned to Cat.

"How about we hand Vega the chips and just call it a night?" Cat nodded and stayed in the car as Jade ran inside really quickly. By the time she got back, Cat was sound asleep. Then and only then did Jade let a single tear slide down her cheek as she put the car in drive and wove in and out of the streets on the way to her own home.

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**If you can all find it within your hearts to forgive me for how long this has taken me,**

**Reviews make me smile :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**it had taken me so incredibly long to write the last chapter that I honestly felt guilty for making you wait . I was going to put more into this chapter and make it maybe double the length of what it is now by combining this and the next chapter into one mega chapter. But as I got to writing this, words kinda flowed out of me and I really like the spot where this ended and decided to seperate the two. It also helps that I get to post this now for all of you rather than make you wait again because I haven't written that next part out in full yet. It is still a mix of a small synopsis paragraph on a word document and a slew of ideas dancing in my head.**

**Enjoy :)**

Jade parked the car in the driveway and got out, walking around to the passenger side. She opened the door and just looked at Cat for a moment.

Her knees were brought up to her chest and her feet were up on the seat. Her arms were crossed atop her knees and she was resting her head in the crook of her arms. The tiniest little snores were being emitted from her mouth. All in all, she looked so small she was almost childlike. Combine that with Jade knowing of her bubblegum smile, adorable dimples and love for all things pink… and Cat was the most innocent, childish person Jade had ever seen in her life.

Jade hated the fact that someone so eternally innocent and kind was forced to battle these terrible inner demons. Nobody ever deserves to live in fear of the very people who are supposed to protect you. But Cat deserved it least of all.

Jade swooped in and enveloped the redhead's tiny body within her strong arms and shut the car door with her hip and carried her up to the door. She knew there was no way she'd be able to open the door, so she repeatedly jabbed at the doorbell with her elbow. After a few moments, the porch light turns on and Mrs. West opens the door, holding a mug of what Jade knows to be warm milk in her hand. She pushed right past her mother and headed up the stairs, laying Cat down in her bed.

Cat still had never slept a single night in her own bed since the night she came to stay with the Wests. Jade carefully unhooked Cat's bra under her shirt and slipped it out through an arm hole. She wiggled Cat's skirt off and left her in her underwear, covering her in Jade's black bedspread and tossing the clothes into the hamper before she made her way down to the kitchen for a well-deserved cup of coffee.

Her mother was sitting at the kitchen table, sipping her warm milk. Jade went over to the coffee maker and got it started, trying to ignore the almost palpable stare she knew she was receiving from her mother.

"You're home earlier than I was expecting," Mrs. West said. "I thought you were going to a party."

"We did go," Jade said coldly. "Something came up."

"She okay?" Mrs. West nodded in the direction of the staircase. The coffeemaker beeped that it was done and Jade quickly snatched the mug into her hands and took a long sip of the near-scalding liquid, feeling a calm almost immediately.

"Do you even care?" she snapped, not lifting her eyes from the pool of blackness within her hands.

"Of course I do."

"You sure? Because it totally didn't seem like it when you basically told me to stay away from her before. You basically called her a damaged wreak who was undeserving of love, while she was standing right there. It's not exactly what you do when you care about someone."

Mrs. West sighed and extended her arm towards the vacant stool across the table from her. Jade stared at it blankly. Mrs. West rose her eyebrows expectantly and waited until Jade sighed in defeat and took a seat.

"You're making me out to be the bad guy," Mrs. West said. "I'm definitely not that. I opened up my home to that young girl because I knew that she needed one. She's welcome to stay for as long as she needs. I will pay for a roof over her head, the food in her mouth, and the clothes on her back for as long as she needs me to. So don't you dare tell me that I don't care about her."

"So what's your problem with me dating her?"

"I want to make sure you know what you're getting yourself in to."

"Because she's a girl."

"No," Mrs. West argued. "Well, that too, but that's not what I'm talking about. You've spent time with her. You know her well. Heck, you probably know more about her past than I do because she's opened up to you and told you her story. So you need to realize that she comes with a lot of emotional baggage. I'm not saying that she's damaged to the point of not deserving of love. She does deserve it, and she _needs_ it. But I'm worried about whether you're really the right person to give her what she needs."

Jade furrowed her brow. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Mrs. West scoffed. "You're my daughter, Jadelyn. I think I know you well enough. You're not exactly the epitome of kindness and care. You're harsh and opinionated. Cat needs someone who's patient and understanding."

Jade shook her head. "But with Cat I am. She's different."

"Why? What makes her so different than anyone else you've encountered in your life? You've never given anyone else the time of day before."

Jade shrugged. "She deserves it more than anyone else ever deserved it before. Isn't that enough."

Mrs. West paused for a moment and looked at her daughter. "I know you may not think so, but I do admire you, Jade. I know that you think that you're everything we didn't want in a daughter, but that's not true. Yes, maybe we don't understand your creativity. We don't understand your art. But I admire the things behind that."

Jade fought the urge to roll her eyes and instead just took another sip of her coffee. "Mmhhmm," she hummed, knowing very well that her parents never once approved of a single thing that she did. "Like what?"

"You care about things. Maybe not things like poverty and world hunger, but you care. You care about your writing and your music, and you'll fiercely defend it if you need to. You're creative and don't let other people's opinions alter your views of the world. You're not afraid to say what's on your mind, regardless of the hot water it might land you in. You're tenacious and determined. And that's why, I think, if you really want to, you'll get the girl."

Jade furrowed her brow. "Okay. I'm not following."

Her mother's lip lifted in what could barely be considered a smile. "If you really want to, you'll find a way for you and Cat to be together. Because you're determined, and you've never let the things I've said alter your decisions before. You've ignored my opinion for the past seventeen years. Why on earth would you start listening to me now?"

Her mother stood from the table and Jade chuckled quietly to herself as her mother walked towards the stairs.

"Goodnight Jadelyn," she called over her shoulder.

"It's Jade," she said defiantly. It was as if Jade could hear the sound of her mother's smile.

Jade listened to the sound of her mother's footsteps ascend the stairs and turn into muffled thuds over Jade's head before she heard the sound of the bedroom door shutting. Jade sat alone in the silence of her kitchen, sipping her coffee.

Her mother's words confused her. On one hand, her mother is against the relationship. She thinks that Jade's attitude was detrimental to Cat's healing process. She thought that Jade was mean and angry and all it would do would be disrupt Cat's mental state even more.

But at the same time, her mother admired her?

She knew that she and her mother had a weird relationship. They didn't exactly always see eye to eye. They argued and they bickered. Jade's mother thought her daughter was a she-witch and Jade believed her mother's sole purpose in life was to make Jade miserable. But behind that, there was a motherly love that Jade couldn't ignore.

Mrs. West loved her daughter, but that didn't mean that she was automatically a good mother.

Jade couldn't help but wonder how exactly that translated in regards to Cat and her mother. From only the things Jade had heard from Cat, the taller girl was able to paint a mental image of the woman. She had envisioned a horrible monster of a woman with beady eyes and tattered hair. Maybe her voice would be low and smoky. Maybe she would have a snag in her smile. There would be only the slightest of resemblances to the beautiful daughter she bore.

But that wasn't the case. Jade didn't imagine that someone who would so willingly condone her husband to torture their child would be elegant and poised. She never thought that someone who constantly tore her own flesh and blood down to a tattered shell of broken emotions would have the face of a beauty queen.

She never would have imagined that the monster she had painted in her mind would in turn be so…normal.

Jade downed the rest of her coffee and placed the empty mug in the sink, listening as the clang of porcelain in the metal sink seemed to echo throughout the empty house. She shut off the single light switch and was instantly enveloped in darkness. She walked through the rooms and towards the stairs entirely through memory, counting as she went up (16 steps in all) and how many to get to her bedroom down the hall (another 22). She blindly reached out for the doorknob, grasping the cold metal in her hand and turning, smiling at the sight of a bundle of bedspread with Cat's red hair shining even in the darkness.

Jade tore off her clothes and reached for an oversized t-shirt and pair of boxers before she tiptoed over to the bed, gently lifting the covers enough for her to slip in. She was surprised to see Cat's eyes looking straight up at her.

"Hey," she whispered. "Why aren't you asleep?"

When Cat sniffled, Jade noticed the reflection of her tears on her cheeks shining in the moonlight that managed to spill between Jade's blinds. "Can't. When I'm asleep, I have bad dreams. When I'm awake, I'm living them."

Jade sunk down deeper into the bed, holding Cat within her arms. "You wanna talk about it?" she mumbled, resting her lips against the smooth skin of Cat's shoulder. The words came out like tingling vibrations against Cat's skin.

Cat gently shook her head. "Not now. My head still hurts from everything."

Jade nodded sympathetically and began running her hands through Cat's hair, feeling the silky redness slip between her fingers. A long moment of silence fell over them and Jade was almost certain that Cat had fallen asleep before her high pitched whisper reached Jade's ears.

"Jadey?"

Jade's eyes were closed as she rested her face in the crook of Cat's neck. "Mmhhm?"

"Will you tell me a story? Or a poem? Or sing me a song? Something?"

"Why?" Jade mumbled, snuggling herself closer to Cat and feeling the girl's warmth through her clothes and to her skin.

"I wanna hear your voice. Its so pretty when you say pretty things to me."

Jade focused on her breathing, waiting for words to come to her.

"_Let me not to the marriage of true minds_

_Admit impediments, love is not love_

_Which alters when it alteration finds,_

_Or bends with the remover to remove._

_O no, it is an ever fixed mark_

_That looks on tempests and is never shaken;_

_It is the star to every wandr'ring bark,_

_Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken._

_Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks_

_Within his bending sickle's compass come,_

_Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,_

_But it bears it out even to the edge of doom:_

_If this be error and upon me proved,_

_I never writ, nor no man ever loved."_

Another moment of silence fell over them as Cat waited to make sure that Jade was finished. "See?" Cat giggled. "I told you your voice was pretty when you said pretty things. Did you write that?"

Cat felt Jade's body shake as she chuckled. "No," she said. "That's Shakespeare. Sonnet 116."

"Oh," Cat said. After a beat, she added, "Jadey?"

"Mmhhmm?"

"What does it mean?"

Jade smiled and turned over onto her side, facing Cat. Cat mirrored her position and the two were only inches apart. Jade could feel Cat's breathing tickling her lips.

"Its kinda saying that love will never change with circumstance. It's permanent. When bad stuff happens, it'll bend, but it'll fall right back to place. It's what guides people. It can never be calculated. Love never changes. Once you love, you'll love forever. And if what Shakespeare says love is turns out to be wrong, then he'll say that he's never written anything and no man has ever truly loved."

Cat smiled in the darkness. "It's just as pretty as when you said it the first time in words I didn't understand."

Cat lifted her hand and placed it on Jade's waist. She ran her small hand up and down slowly, feeling the dip of her waist before her firm hip, and then back up to her ribs, gently pulling up the hem of her shirt along with it, feeling the silky ice of Jade's porcelain skin.

Jade was glad that Cat couldn't see in the dark or else she would have seen Jade's cheeks turn a bright pink. Her heart was pounding in her chest and her throat felt dry.

"You never touch me," Cat observed, tracing idle circles against Jade's hip.

"That's not true. We cuddle every night. We hug and hold hands."

"But you don't _touch_ me," Cat argued. "Not really."

Jade felt something flare up inside of her. Similar to the clawing sensation, but this she could identify. The clawing was like an emotion she had never experienced before, but this she lived on many occasions. It was defense.

Why would she touch Cat? She would never dream of pushing her further than what the girl was comfortable. But then again, she and Jade had never even spoken of what was comfortable between the two of them.

Jade frowned. "Do you want me to touch you?"

She could feel Cat's shrug against the mattress. "It'd be nice. But it's more of like, why don't you? It's like I'm the first for everything."

"What do you mean?"

"I kissed you first. I reached for your hand. I climb into your bed. I told you I liked you. I asked you to be my girlfriend. You never… what's the word?"

"Initiate?" Jade offered.

"Yes," Cat decided with a nod. "You never do. It's like that's my job. Why?"

In her head, Jade could decipher the answer to Cat's question. She knew exactly why.

She didn't want to hurt Cat. She didn't want to push. She didn't want to stir up memories that she knew Cat had bubbling within her mind. She had witnessed flashbacks, nightmares and full-on breakdowns. The last thing Jade would ever want was to be the cause of one of those episodes.

"I just want to make sure you're always ready for whatever it is I do. And so, I let you make the first move. I can't read your mind. What if I do something wrong."

Cat's voice fell to a whisper. "You don't have to protect me, if that's what you're saying. I'm not a delicate little flower that's going to shatter and fall to pieces if you push too hard."

"I.." Jade's mouth fell open and closed like that of a fish, not knowing what exactly to say. The words Cat said were perfectly right. But, Jade never thought that she would feel guilty for protecting someone and wanting to do the best for them. She never thought Cat could make what Jade thought to be an act of kindness sound malicious.

But what was Jade to say? Was she to tell Cat what exactly it was on her mind? Which was, she didn't want Cat to look up at Jade and see her own father, violating his little girl. Jade doesn't want to be the monster of Cat's nightmares.

"Is something wrong?" Cat asked. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No," Jade said. She looked up and met Cat's eyes through the veil of darkness in the room. "You've done absolutely nothing wrong."

Cat's eyes didn't move from Jade's. "Your my girlfriend," Cat stated. "We don't keep secrets."

Jade closed her eyes and sighed. "And your mine. I know. I would never keep a secret from you. I'm just… I don't know. Not ready for all of this yet." She was surprised at how easily the words fell from her tongue. The truth was pushed back into her head with the things she couldn't bring herself to admit to Cat.

Cat looked at Jade. She had been in the dark long enough to have had her eyes adjust so she could see clearly in the blackened shadows. She could see Jade laying in front of her with her eyes closed and her mouth silent.

"I know you worry about me," Cat said, watching intently as Jade's left eye twitched, but didn't open. "But you don't have to. I mean, I know I seem like I'm far from perfect, but I'm getting there. You mean a lot to me Jade. Probably more than you even realize that you do. And I know that you love me just as much, and that you don't want to do anything that might hurt me, but I'm stronger than you realize. I can handle more than you think I can."

Jade said nothing. She kept her eyes closed and did the smartest thing Jade had ever done in her life; kept her mouth shut in fear of saying something wrong. She knew herself. She knew exactly what she was doing. In her mind, she was protecting Cat. But was she going too far? She couldn't admit her intentions to Cat. She would never want Cat to think that Jade saw her as damaged goods. That isn't the case at all. Jade sees Cat as being incredibly strong and an amazing person. But she wants to make sure that Cat was ready for whatever the relationship would bring.

Her mother's voice echoed through her mind.

"_I'm worried about whether you're really the right person to give her what she needs."_

"_Cat needs someone who is patient and understanding."_

"_You've never given anyone else the time of day before."_

It is in this very way that Jade was setting herself up for failure. By trying to be loving and caring and everything that is the opposite of what her mother had told her, she was instead fulfilling the prophecy. By wanting to give Cat space to heal, she made her feel unloved and unwanted. By wanting to be patient and understanding of Cat's needs, she made Cat feel like Jade wanted to distance herself.

She was letting a past that couldn't be changed get in the way of what could be something amazing. Maybe the most amazing thing in Jade's life.

She couldn't let that happen.

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**See? Totally the perfect set up for whats to come. Anyone wanna makr a prediction?**

**Reviews make me smile:)**


	17. Chapter 17

**Heyy! I'm so incredibly sorry. I wanted nothing more than to finish this story for you guys, but it seems like the universe just didn't want me to haha. First I had a ton of things to do for the end of the school year. Then I graduated. Then I needed to get a whole bunch of papers to get ready for college. Then I had a personal thing. Then I went on vacation for a bit. Then my internet stopped working. Somewhere along the line, I got writer's block.**

**You see what I go through for you? haha**

**regardless, this is it. The final chapter of this story. Longest chap I've written for it to make up for how long it has taken me to put up.**

**enjoy my loves :)**

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Cat would be lying if she said that nothing had changed after that conversation. It was the opposite. It seemed as though those words had put a wedge between her and Jade, and she felt guilty. All she did was tell the truth. But now, because she did so, things were drastically different.

Yes, she and Jade still kissed and held hands and cuddled on the couch, but Jade was more closed off. It was as though she was slowly building a wall around herself and was refusing to let Cat in. There were times when Jade would mysteriously leave the house without telling Cat where she was going, and she would be gone for hours on end. Or when Cat would walk past her bedroom and hear Jade's hushed voice talking over the phone with someone in secret.

Cat didn't know what was happening in Jade's life anymore. She was being shut out. And it pained her. She was torn. On one hand, she wished she could just go back and suck those words back up so they it never happened. And at the same time, she doesn't regret telling the truth. She was still sleeping in Jade's bed at night, and she still called Jade her girlfriend, so she had hope.

The next Saturday, Cat woke up alone in Jade's bed with the delicious smell of coffee and pancakes invading her senses. She smiled and clutched Mr. Purple close to her chest before untangling her legs from the black comforter. Even with…_this_ going on between Jade and her, Saturday morning pancakes were still happening, and that was a good sign. With a quick stop to pee, she made her way down the stairs. The closer she got to the kitchen, the more intoxicating the smell became.

Cat knew that she would never get tired of the sight of Jade, hard at work in the kitchen. Her very short black shorts hung low on her hips, and a single strap of her black tank top was sliding down her pale, porcelain shoulder. Her black hair with green streaks looked immaculately disheveled as it cascaded down her white back in stark contrast. Cat smiled. Jade looked like a real-life version of Snow White.

Jade had heard Cat's footsteps as she entered the kitchen, but didn't turn around. Every muscle in her body stiffened as she became acutely aware of the near-silent footsteps drawing closer and closer to her, but Jade continued to flip pancakes in the pan. It wasn't until a small pair of tanned arms wrapped themselves around her stomach that Jade acknowledged the redhead, feeling the heat of her body against her own.

"You want some pancakes?" she asked. She felt Cat nod her head against the thin material of her shirt. "Good," Jade added.

"So what are we doing today?" Cat spoke with a wide smile and happy bliss, hoping the dark shadow that was cast on their relationship would dissipate. Cat may not be the smartest person in the world, but she was smart when it came to people. She didn't need to be a genius to know that Jade was upset before they went to bed.

Nothing of what she said was in any way a lie. She didn't need to be cuddled and protected. After a life of pain, she knew how to take care of herself. She knew that Jade had all the best intentions, but that doesn't mean that she was doing everything right.

"I can't tell you," Jade said nonchalantly, pouring more batter into the sizzling pan without even so much as looking in the other girl's direction.

Cat let go of Jade and spun around so that she was leaning her back on the black granite countertop beside the tall brunette. "You can't _tell_ me?" Cat asked. Jade tried to ignore how adorable she looked with her eyebrows furrowed together and her mouth forming a perfect 'oh' in confusion. "Why not?"

Jade shrugged.

"Is it a surprise?" Cat questioned.

"Might be," she answered, biting down on the insides of her cheeks to keep herself from grinning.

Jade almost jumped out of her skin at the sound of Cat's excited squeal. "Yay!" she said, clapping her hands as she jumped up and down. "I absolutely _love_ surprises!"

Jade chuckled. "Go get dressed. The pancakes should be done by then. Your ride will be here at eleven."

Cat looked up at the clock on the microwave and Jade could almost see the gears turning in her head as she tried to do the math. "But that's in an hour and a half," Cat stated.

Jade shrugged. "Then you better go get dressed."

Cat frowned. "But… in what? Heels? Sneakers? Can I wear a dress, or should I wear pants?" Her voice began rising in a panic and she wove her tanned fingers through bright red locks of hair. Jade fought back a smile. She hated the fact that Cat did this to her. Only Catarina Valentine had the ability to make Jade grin like a fool.

"You can wear a dress if you'd like. Whatever. It really doesn't matter what you wear."

Cat gave Jade a serious expression and brought her lips into a straight pensive line as deep brown eyes bore straight into playful green. "Okay," Cat said with a firm voice, and she turned around to head up the stairs.

By the time Jade was taking the last pancake off the pan and starting to clean up, Cat's footsteps echoed throughout the house as she ran down the stairs.

"I'm dressed!" she sang, and flung herself down onto a chair at the kitchen table. Jade placed a plate down in front of her and Cat stacked three pancakes on top of each other, humming along to a song Jade didn't recognize, and reached for the maple syrup. Jade took a long sip of her coffee (black, two sugars) as she watched the syrup slide down the mountain of pancakes in a sickly sweet river and pool around it on the plate. The syrup was so deep that it almost completely covered the bottom-most pancake in the stack.

"You want some more pancakes with your syrup?" Jade joked.

"No," Cat said, taking a knife to cut into the stack. "Three should be good. I really don't eat much."

Jade laughed into her coffee mug.

"So, what else will you tell me about the surprise?" Cat asked in between bites. "Is my ride a limo? A horse-drawn carriage?" The excitement in her voice rose as ideas sprung to her head of what Jade could have planned for her.

Jade lifted a pierced brow. "Nothing nearly as exciting as that," she stated. "More like just Andre coming by in his car to take you somewhere."

"Where's he taking me?"

Jade shrugged and gave Cat a smirk. That smirk defined her perfectly. One could never be too sure of what was going on within Jade's head when she had that look on her face. All it meant was that she was up to something. Cat knew that Jade wouldn't be giving up the secret that easily and so she sighed in exasperation and took another big bite of syrupy pancake, and breakfast continued as usual.

Jade kept trying to stealthily look past Cat's head towards the clock to make sure Andre wasn't going to be late. She knew that Cat would never be able to detect this, (thank God for Sikowitz's acting classes) but Jade was nervous. Honest to God _nervous_. She needed this whole day to run smoothly. She had planned everything to the minute. The entire last week, she barely spent a moment of time to herself. She was constantly on the phone with people or out driving to go set things up. The tiniest of glitches would ruin everything that was to follow. Her leg was bouncing erratically beneath the table and her heart was hammering in her chest. She could feel her temples throbbing with pure stress. She sat perched on the very edge of her chair, ready to rise to her feet at any moment.

Jade hated being nervous.

Just as Cat was taking the last chunk of sugary goodness into her mouth, the doorbell rang. Jade instantly sprang into action and sprinted to the door.

Cat leaned back in her seat so that she could see just a sliver of the front foyer through the doorway to the kitchen. She saw Jade and Andre, talking, but their words were too hushed for her to hear. She saw the frantic movement of Jade's hands and the wide smile on Andre's face. Jade reached into her bra and pulled out a folded envelope and handed it to Andre, who nodded and stuck it in his pocket before the two of them walked through the house and into the kitchen.

"Hey there Lil' Red," he said. His voice floated through the room. "You ready for this chiz?"

Cat stood up and put her plate down in the sink. "I'd be more ready if I knew that was supposed to be ready for," she said, "But, since me not knowing what I'm ready for is part of me being ready, then I guess I'm ready enough."

Andre stared at her blankly and Jade's lips twitched into the tiniest of smiles. "Alrighty then," he said uncertainly. "Let's get a move on. We've got places to be."

Cat skipped towards the door and Andre and Jade followed after her, her pink skirt twirling with every jump-step she took. She and Andre walked halfway down the path to his cat before Jade's voice rang out behind them in a song that Cat instantly recognized, and she spun around in her tracks to meet Jade's emerald eyes.

"_We can stand right here, or go, go go._

_We can take things fast, or take it slow._

_We can spend our lives oceanside,_

_Or count the stars in the desert on a magic night."_

Cat opened her mouth to say something, but the front door was already shutting with a final click of the lock. Cat stared at its blankness for just a moment longer before turning around and hopping into the passenger seat.

Her ears were listening to the hushed sound of the music playing on the radio. She heard the soft hum of the engine and Andre's quiet singing. Her eyes saw the blackness of the dashboard and the brightness of the sun. She saw the trees whiz by and the children playing on the streets. Cat was so very obviously there in the car with Andre, but her mind wasn't. Her mind was on Jade and her voice and that song.

Jade had a funny way of doing things. In the simplest of words, Jade was a puzzle. On most days, Cat thought she had Jade basically figured out. She knew that her interests were, and Cat could usually predict her reactions to things (usually. Not always). And then, from time to time, Jade would throw her a complete curveball.

Jade was a line of poetry that needed to be understood. She was a verse in a song with a secret meaning. She was a rubix cube with a hidden message in every word that flew from her lips.

There were times when Cat didn't understand the puzzle that was Jade. Jade was complex. Cat was simple minded. Jade was a deep piece of art work that some people didn't know the meaning of. Cat knew that Jade could sense it. And then, there were other times when Cat knew _exactly_ what Jade meant. In those moments, if felt like their relationship was built in a different language; one more eloquent than any other words imaginable.

It was because of that connection that Cat knew that somewhere within Jade's words was a clue. Somewhere in that song, there was something that was specifically to make Cat's brain work on hyper drive to try to figure out this piece of the puzzle. Cat needed to solve this rubix cube.

"Do you know what my surprise is?" she asked Andre. He took his eyes off the road for just a second to glance at her.

"I know parts of it," he said with a nod. "But don't you think I'm gonna be tellin you any of it. I'm sure you can understand why. Jade's one lady whose plans I'd rather not ruin. I'd like to live," he laughed.

Andre pulled his car into the parking lot of a posh little boutique that Cat had once heard of. Through the window, she saw white and silver walls staring back at her, and rows upon rows of fabulous gowns. The mannequins wore more expensive clothing than Cat had ever seen in her life.

"For you," Andre said, handing her a black envelope. Across the front in a silver marker was written the number "1". Cat looked at him in confusion and he just shrugged. "It's from Jade."

Cat ripped through the red wax seal and pulled out a deep red piece of paper. In Jade's distinctly sharp handwriting, Cat read:

"_**Go inside, walk up to the woman behind the counter, and request a pick up. First name Catarina, last name West. Pay with this."**_

Attached to the bottom was Jade's credit card.

Cat felt her insides flip flop at the words. Catarina West. She glanced at Andre for a brief second before reaching for the handle and heading out of the car and up towards the shop. A soft bell rang above her head as the glass door opened. It smelled like clothes. It was indescribable, but one of Cat's favorite scents.

She approached a blonde woman sitting at a tall white desk, typing away at her computer. "Excuse me," Cat said softly. The woman looked up at Cat with her dark blue eyes over her thick framed glasses. "I'm here to pick something up?"

The woman nodded. "Name?"

The words got stuck in her throat before she could find it within herself to say them out loud. "West," she said, her voice shaking ever so slightly. "Catarina West."

The woman got up out of her chair and walked through a door behind the desk. Within moments, she came out holding a black garment bag. "Follow me, please," she said. "We'll make sure it fits correctly, considering we only had a list of your measurements rather than you actually being here for us to measure you ourselves."

Cat furrowed her brows and followed the woman around a corner and down a hallway to a row of fitting rooms. The woman pushed aside a curtain and hung the garment bag up on a golden hook on the far wall. "Go ahead. I'll be out here if you need help getting zipped."

Cat nodded slowly and shut the deep plum curtain behind her. She unzipped the garment bag and pulled out a dress, slowly stepping into the pinkness and zipping it up herself. She opened the curtain and gasped when she saw her reflection in the mirror in front of her.

The strapless dress was Cat's favorite shade of bubblegum pink with a sweetheart neckline. Everything above the waist was covered in mirrored beads that reflected the light every time she moved and sparkled in brilliant rainbows. A thick, dark pink satin band ran cross her waist, from which beautiful feathers in pale pink, baby blue, and light yellow pushed out into a full skirt that hit her just above the knee. She looked stunning.

"It fits beautifully," the woman remarked with a grin, walking over to Cat and eyeing the dress carefully. "Seems like her measurements of you were completely accurate. Go ahead and take it off and I'll meet you over by the register."

Cat slipped the dress off and carefully put it back in the bag and went back to the register. The woman typed some things into the computer.

"Credit, I assume?" she asked.

Cat held out her (Jade's) credit card to the woman, which she took and swiped. "How much is it?" Cat asked.

The woman shook her head. "I've been told that I'm not allowed to tell you," she said as she put a receipt in the bag. "The woman who was here about the dress was adamant about that. She also insisted that I give you this."

Cat took the bag from the woman's hands along with familiar black envelope with a silver 2 on it.

"Thanks," Cat said, and headed out the door. She plopped the dress in the backseat of Andre's car and sat in the passenger seat. She glanced at the clock on the dashboard. It was already 12:30.

"Where to Lil' Red?"

Cat carefully opened the black envelope and pulled out another piece of red paper and red the single word.

"_**Vega"**_

Cat frowned. "Does this mean we're going to Tori's?" she asked, showing Andre the note. He nodded and started the car. "Indeed it does."

They drove to Tori's and pulled up in front of her house. Cat got out of the car and began to walk up to the front door when Andre called out to her. "Yo chica!"

Cat stopped in her tracks and turned around. Andre was still sitting in the car. "You're not coming?" she asked.

"Afraid not," he said. "This is where I leave you be. Don't want you forgettin bout your dress though."

Cat nodded and ran over to the car to grab the dress from the backseat and continued her walk up to the house. She was about to ring the bell when a smiling Tori opened the door, startling her.

"Hey Cat!" Tori chirped, holding her arms out to take the bag from her arms. "Come on in."

"You knew I was coming," Cat stated. It was more of an observation than a question. She followed Tori into the house and watched as the Latina carefully placed the dress on the house and headed in towards the kitchen.

"Yupp. I know all about Jade's plan."

"You wanna tell me about it?" Cat questioned, poking Tori gently in the stomach with her elbow and winking.

"Nope," Tori said with a smirk. "Can't do that. It'd ruin everything."

Cat looked at the things set up at the Vega's kitchen table. An electric mixer, icing, flour, eggs, and other baking goods.

"Are we baking a cake?" Cat questioned.

"Indeed we are. I just set the oven to preheat. Let's do this."

And so Tori read aloud from a recipe book as Cat began pouring things into a blender. Tori took it upon herself to measure out the oil and water when it became evident that Cat didn't measure anything properly. And, after Cat got pieces of eggshells into the batter, Tori fished those out too.

When Cat had the cake all ready and in the oven, she sat down on the Vega's couch with a pack of cookies. "So why are we baking a cake?" she asked.

"I don't know why," Tori admitted. "You know Jade's pretty darn good at keeping secrets."

Cat rolled her eyes and put a cookie in her mouth. "You have no idea," she mumbled.

"So what's up with you two anyways?" Tori asked, reaching over to grab a cookie from Cat. "Jade was straight out bugging about this whole thing, trying to make sure that everything was perfect and that no one screws it up for her. She apologizing for something?"

Cat shrugged. "I don't know. She doesn't have anything to apologize for. I'm the one who messed up."

Tori frowned. "What happened?"

Cat shut her eyes tightly as the feeling of her heart beating echoed through her head. Her breathing became heavy and she felt as though she was spinning. "I told Jade she was being too over protective."

Tori paused for a second and looked at Cat. She could see the little redhead's body shaking ever so slightly and a thin layer of sweat forming on her brow. Unobstructed tears fell from her closed eyes. "Relax Cat," Tori said, trying to make her voice as soothing as possible. She knew that Cat had random panic attacks. She knew that sometimes, they could be bad. And she knew that Jade knew way better than she did how to help Cat get through it. But Jade wasn't here right now. It was just the two of them.

Cat felt as though she was swimming in her own head, in an ocean of thought. She had no control over what she was doing. From the tips of her toes, she felt pure, liquefied panic rising up within her.

And then, Jade's velvet voice sounded in her head like a guardian angel. "_**Breathe, Baby Girl. Just breathe.**_"

Cat took a deep shaky breath and the panic slowly dissolved. She carefully opened her eyes and saw the concern written in Tori's face.

"I know it's not a big deal," Cat said softly. Her voice rose in pitch and she nervously toyed with the hem of her skirt. "Jade is just being Jade. She always took care of me. She promised."

"She promised?" Tori asked. The Jade she knew made a lot of promises. She promised to rip Rex's head off. She promised to make Sinjin's life hell. She promised to scare the pee out of anyone who crossed her. But, Tori never knew Jade to promise to take care of someone.

"Yeah," Cat said, smiling ever so slightly. "The first day we met. Jade promised me that she'd keep me safe."

Tori tried thinking of something to say, but no words came to mind. She always knew that even someone as purely evil as Jade must have it somewhere within her deep, twisted soul to show an ounce of kindness to another living thing. But Tori never thought that Jade would take it to the extreme. Rather than an ounce of kindness, Jade had given her entire being and her entire heart to a quiet, scared little redheaded girl who happened to walk into her life one day.

The two girls sat in silence, enjoying each other's company until the oven dinged, signaling that the cake was ready. Tori skipped over to the kitchen and pulled it out, setting it on the table to cool.

"What color do you want to make the icing?" she asked, pulling out the large tub of white icing and an array of food colorings.

Cat took her bottom lip between her teeth and scanned the colors. "Uhh… indigo," she decided with a nod.

"Alright then," Tori laughed, and reached for the blue and purple. "Have at it."

Cat became a scientist and tried to figure out the perfect ratio of blue to purple to make the shade of indigo she had in mind. Once she was finally satisfied with the color, she and Tori covered the cake and put it in a box.

"And this," Tori said, reaching into her pocket, "is for you."

Cat took the black envelope with the silver 3 from Tori's hands and opened it, pulling out the red paper.

"_**Lips as red as roses."**_

Cat frowned. "Do you know what this is supposed to mean?" she asked, turning the note around for Tori to read. She nodded and grabbed her mom's keys.

"Grab the cake," Tori said, picking up Cat's dress of the couch. "We've got some place to be. It's already past three."

Cat giggled. "You rhymed." She picked up the box and followed Tori out to the driveway and into Ms. Vega's car.

Cat reached towards the stereo and picked out a station and began bopping her head to the beat. "Where are we going?" she asked.

"Exactly where Jade told me to take you next."

"But..But…" Cat stammered and pouted her lips. She huffed and crossed her arms in front of her chest. She knew that Tori wasn't going to give up any more information and so she accepted her fate of ignorance and leaned back in the seat to prepare for her drive.

What she wasn't expecting, however, was how long of a drive it was going to be. After an hour, Cat finally turned to Tori.

"Are we almost there?" she asked with an exasperated sigh. "It's been forever like, three times already."

"Two more minutes, Cat," Tori laughed. "Patience."

Cat giggled and leaned back once again. Just as Tori promised, within a few minutes they pulled into a small parking lot. Cat read the sign above the door. "Roots of Love?" she asked. "What is this place?"

Tori said nothing. She reached into her pocket and pulled out yet another black envelope that Cat wasted no time in opening.

"_**Go inside. Tell the woman behind the counter that you're picking up an order. Last name West. It's already paid for. Put it on along with the dress."**_

Cat gave up on trying to understand Jade's cryptic messages. Without a word, she grabbed the garment bag from the back seat and walked up to the white door and opened it. Her senses were flooded with the smell of flowers. Hundreds of thousands of beautiful flowers of every shape and size surrounded her from every side.

"May I help you?" A little old woman with white curls atop her head and bright red glasses poked her head out from behind a large bouquet of daffodils and smiled brightly in Cat's direction.

"Yeah I need to pick up an order?" Cat said. "I'm not sure what it is exactly, but the last name is West."

The woman's eyes seemed to sparkle. "Oh right. Yes. I was expecting you. Let me go get it from the back." She disappeared in the rows of flowers, and Cat took her time examining all the pretty colors.

Mrs. Valentine had always loved flowers. The front and back yard were always immaculately landscaped by a group of men she had hired. When Cat was little, she would go outside and explore the flowers, playing with the butterflies and the lady bugs. Early spring when the flowers were first blooming was always Cat's favorite time of the year. Just the smell of this shop brought Cat back to all the wonderful memories of summers spent out in the garden.

The sound of the woman's footsteps grabbed Cat's attention and she turned and noticed that the woman had a small box in her hands.

"Is there anywhere I can go to change?" Cat asked, motioning to the garment bag.

"Yes of course," the woman said. "Let me show you to the bathroom."

Cat followed the woman and quickly slipped on the dress and zipped it up before heading out of the bathroom and over to the front desk.

"Let me help you put it on," the woman said. "It's delicate." She opened the box and pulled out a large round ring of beautiful red and pink flowers. It took her a moment to realize that this was meant to go around her head. She took a step towards the older woman and allowed her shaky hands to secure the flowers.

"You look beautiful," the woman gushed. "Your girlfriend has a very good eye. I can tell from meeting her that this," she said, motioning to Cat's outfit, "isn't exactly her taste. But I couldn't have chosen anything better for you myself."

Cat found herself at a loss of words for a moment. Of course Jade was her girlfriend. She didn't know why the idea of the words coming from this woman's mouth was such a big surprise to her.

"Jade hates the color pink," Cat admitted with a giggle and a tiny twirl of her skirt.

The woman's smile turned into a knowing smirk. "But you don't, and so she did this for you. Everything is paid for, so you're free to go. Have fun darling."

Cat smiled and turned back to head out to Tori in the parking lot when the woman's voice called out once again.

"I almost forgot," she said, causing Cat to turn around. "Tell your friend in the car that it's time."

"Time for what?"

"She'll know," the woman said, and returned to work.

When Cat got back into the car, Tori simply extended her hand and held out another envelope. Cat rolled her eyes and opened it. "Gosh," she mumbled. "So many envelopes."

"_**Last stop**_".

Cat glanced at the clock on the dashboard. It was already nearing 5:00. "This is the longest surprise _ever_," Cat told Tori very matter-of-factly.

Tori laughed. "It's still not over yet," and put the car in drive.

Cat watched the mile markers on the highway fly past her. Soon, the amount of palm trees began to dwindle. Grass and trees turned into sand. Cactuses began to appear. Time seemed to drag on forever. The sun was beginning to set in the horizon and there was nothing in sight on the open desert other than rocks. The clock read 6:53.

"We almost there?" Cat complained.

"What mile marker are we at?" Tori asked, squinting to try to read the little green sign.

"162," Cat answered. "Why does it matter?"

Tori kept driving. When they neared mile marker 165, she took a sharp turn onto the dirt on the side of the road.

"What are you doing?" Cat questioned. "It's getting dark. Are we lost?"

Tori handed Cat the cake. "Okay. Look out there," she said, pointing straight into the desert in front of them. "You see those lights?"

Just barely, Cat could make out about a dozen small lights out in front of them. It seemed like a bit of a walk. "Yeah?" she said skeptically.

Tori gave Cat a flashlight. "That's where you're going?"

Cat's eyes opened wide. "Alone?!"

Tori shrugged. "Sorry. Jade's orders. I'll sit here for a bit and watch you until you're out of sight. Once you get to those lights, you'll be safe. I promise."

Quickly, images flashed in Cat's mind of that first day she met Jade. They were standing up in her room. Jade looked annoyed that Cat was there, and Cat was horrified of the fact that she was standing in this stranger's house. And then, Jade promised that she'd take care of Cat, and all her fears and worries seemed to melt away.

"Okay," Cat said with a shaky voice, and opened the car door, putting all of her faith and trust into Jade's plans. She turned on the flashlight and shut the car door behind her as she shined the light on the ground to avoid tripping over any rocks or shrubs.

It wasn't that long of a walk. She noticed once she was moving that she was nearing the lights rather quickly. Soon, she could tell that the lights were scattered on the ground around a large shape. Then, she noticed that she shape resembled a car. Then, she saw that it was Jade's car. She felt her heartbeat quicken along with her steps. She was glad that she lived in California. Even in the darkness of the night, the air was rather warm. Only the occasional chilly breeze would ruffle her skirt and send a piece of stray hair across her face.

As she neared the car, Jade got up off the hood and smiled. Between the moonlight and the candles Jade had light to surround the car, the lighting made her look strikingly beautiful. Her eyes glowed a brilliant green and her smile twisted into the faintest of smiles. Her hair shone in the moonlight that reflected against the dark raven locks. Cat thought Jade was always beautiful, but there was something about the way she looked at that very moment that made her look absolutely ethereal.

And that didn't even include the dress she was wearing. It was skin tight black jersey. A scoop-neck that showed off her pale collar bones. A skirt that reached to just above the knee. Long sleeves. The dress was covered in bronze studs and hugged her in all the right places. The dress couldn't possibly be any more _Jade_.

"You made it," she said. Cat knew Jade. She knew her voice. She knew that it was soft and seductive and had the tiniest of rasps to it. But now, it caught her by surprise so much that a chill ran down her spine and a blush to rise to her cheeks.

"This whole day was… wow," Cat said, setting the cake down on the hood of the car. "And you look just… wow. And the dress you bought me and the flowers and everything is so…wow."

Jade chuckled deeply and it gave cat goosebumps. "Great adjectives."

"So what is this?" Cat asked, gesturing to the car.

Jade turned around and opened the passenger's seat and pulled out a blanket and laid it across the hood. Then, she grabbed a basket and hopped up onto the hood. "This is dinner," she explained as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. "Come on and sit down. I got us the best seats in the house."

Cat smiled and climbed up beside Jade who was pouring them two glasses of red wine that looked black in the night. "What makes these seats any better than any other?" Cat asked after delicately taking a sip. She always thought wine was bitter and had to drink it slowly.

Jade smiled. "Close your eyes," she said. Cat paused for a moment and then obeyed. "Okay," Jade said. "Now lean back against the windshield." Again. Cat waited. She felt the gentle pressure of Jade's hand on her shoulder as she guided her backwards until she was partially lying down. After a moment, the warmth of Jade's arm brushed up against hers and she knew that Jade was lying beside her.

"Okay," Jade whispered. "Open your eyes."

And Cat did.

And there in front of her were stars. Thousands. More than Cat could ever count up to. And more than she had ever seen all at once. There in front of her was the world. There was the universe. There was everything that existed beyond the life she lived.

In front of her was everything.

Jade's song from this morning played in her mind.

"_We can spend our lives ocean side_

_Or count the stars in the desert on a magic night_"

"Wow," she gasped. "It's beautiful."

Jade knew of the beauty that was above her head, but she couldn't stop looking at the beauty lying beside her. "Yeah," she said. "It is."

Cat could feel Jade's eyes on her and smiled as nervous butterflies filled her stomach. "Jadelyn August West," she chided playfully. "I never knew you to be a sappy romantic."

Jade faked shock and put her hand to her chest dramatically. "Me?" she questioned with just the tiniest of smiles tugging at the corners of her lips. "I don't think _anyone_ would ever _dare_ call me sappy. The word doesn't fit me."

"But it does," Cat sang, and turned so that she was laying down facing the taller girl. Jade moved her arm so that she encircled Cat's waist. "You just don't want to show anyone. You think you're too cool."

"Because I am," she scoffed. "But I'll let the fact that you called me sappy slide this time."

Cat smiled and snuggled in closer to Jade, who wrapped her arm around her tighter and brought her flush against her own body. They could feel the thumping of each other's heart beats as they sat like that in silence, enjoying each other's company.

After a few long minutes passed, Jade's whispered voice broke through the quiet. "I fucked up."

When Cat didn't answer, Jade tilted her head to look down so she could meet her eyes. It felt as though she was being pulled into them.

Jade took a deep breath and continued. "I was so afraid of moving forward too fast that I started going backwards instead. Honestly, you scare me. You're so cute and adorable with your bright fuchsia hair and your bubblegum smile and those dimples, but you scare the crap out of me. I'm scared of how much I like you. I'm scared of the fact that you're a _girl_ and I like you. I'm scared of you being scared of me."

Cat frowned. "Why would I ever be scared of you?"

Jade laughed, dark and bitter, and ran her hand through her raven tresses. "Because I'm pretty fucking scary," she admitted. "I have no filter. I push too hard. I don't think before I act. I'm vulgar. I'm dark. I don't usually do commitment. I have a twisted sense of humor. I'm controlling. The list goes on and on."

"But I'm not scared of you."

"Well maybe you should be." Jade's voice changed ever so slightly in Cat's mind. Gone was the brassiness and the attitude. Now, a hint of vulnerability shone through. More vulnerability than Cat had ever heard Jade's voice hold. The sound of it broke her heart.

"I'd be afraid of me if I were you," Jade said. "Given what you've been through and the type of person that I know I am deep down. I guess… maybe that's why I was so careful with you. Too careful. I was afraid of saying the wrong thing or making the wrong move and pushing you. I stopped taking careful steps closer to you and instead began to tiptoe around you. I was afraid that…you'd see the horrible qualities your parents had in me. I didn't want you to see me as the same breed of monster that they were."

Cat nodded. "I get it," she whispered with a broken shrug. "I'm messed up." She saw Jade beginning to open her mouth in protest and stopped her. "There's no lying about it. I know it's true. I've always known it. Normal people aren't forced to see a specialist once a week. Normal people don't have paralyzing panic attacks. Normal people don't live the types of lives that I've lived."

Jade shook her head. "You say that like it's an excuse for the fact that I've babied you and sheltered you."

"It's not an excuse. But I _understand_. That's different. Jade, nothing you could do would ever make me love you any less. No stupid thing you say or do. You're you. That's enough for me. Even if I'm putting on a mask every day for the rest of my life and fight these panic attacks. Even if I'm never truly okay, it won't make me not love you."

Jade lifted a hand and brushed it against Cat's cheek, pushing a strand of bright red behind her ear. "But you will be. You'll be okay."

Cat smiled weakly. She didn't even realize that tears were beginning to fall until she felt the wetness gather between her cheek and Jade's hand. "You think I'll be okay?"

Jade nodded firmly. Her eyes were beginning to match Cat's glassy ones. "I do. Maybe you won't _feel _okay all of the time. But there's nothing wrong with that. No one feels okay 100% of the time. But I know that you will someday. And it won't be with masks and fake smiles."

"Promise?" Cat whispered.

Jade pulled in Cat even closer so that her lips were mere millimeters away from the smaller girl. She could smell the sweetness of Cat's breath and the warmth of it on her face. "I promise. I will always promise. Always and forever after."

Cat made the move to put her lips on Jade's firmly and wrapped her tanned fingers in Jade's black hair. Cat moved so that she was partially lying on top of Jade, holding herself up on her elbows as Jade's hands ran up and down her back slowly. Cat extended her leg and both girls came to an abrupt stop at the sound of a crash.

"Oopsies," Cat giggled. "I think I knocked over your picnic basket."

Jade chuckled. "As long as you weren't looking forward to dinner too much, I don't really care."

In an answer, Cat kissed Jade firmly once again. She put her hand between their two bodies and danced her fingers across Jade's toned stomach. Jade's hand touched the top of the zipper of Cat's dress and pulled it down ever so slightly.

"Is this okay?" she asked with a shaky voice. Cat kissed Jade's jaw and bit at it gently, causing Jade to moan in response. She pulled the zipper down.

The coolness of the desert air at night nipped at Cat's bare back contrasted with the warmth of Jade's hand as it ran down Cat's spine down to her tailbone where the zipper ended. Cat's entire body erupted in goosebumps

"You too," she panted, pulling at the neckline of Jade's dress. Jade laughed and got onto her knees, hitching her dress all the way up her thighs.

"Doesn't have a zipper," she said with a smirk. Grabbing onto the hem, she pulled it over in one quick swoop. Cat's eyes roamed Jade's body. Living together, she's seen her in various states of undress before, but nothing like this. Jade was in a matching black and red lace bra and panty set. The pale white skin of her breasts deliciously spilling over the material of her bra. Cat couldn't take her eyes off of her. She slowly slipped her own dress down her body, leaving herself equally as naked as Jade out in the open air of the desert.

Jade reached out and put her hand on the small of Cat's back and pulled her in close to her. The skin on skin warmth caused a chill to travel through Jade's body. "You okay with this Baby Girl?" she whispered.

Cat nodded and pressed her lips against Jade's. Hard.

When the girls awoke with the rising sun the next morning, they were huddled beneath the blanket on the hood of the car, soaking in the warmth of their naked embrace. Jade yawned widely and Cat snuggled in closer to her.

The smaller girl cleared her throat and giggled. "Morning," she said.

"Good morning." Jade's morning voice was scratchier than usual. She looked at Cat and smiled.

Cat kissed the crook of Jade's neck and breathed in that smell that was so perfectly Jade. "I love you," she whispered. Jade felt the tingle of Cat's words against her bare skin. "I love you so much that I can't explain how much."

Jade laughed. "I love you too. More than either of us could ever imagine. And as much as I love being here like this with you, we should probably get dressed."

Cat untangled herself from Jade and stretched her arms above her head, unabashedly allowing the blanket to fall to her lap and leaving her nude from the waist up. "Already?"

Jade nodded and got up to pick her dress up off the sandy ground. "I needs me my morning coffee."

Cat smiled and put on her own dress. "Can I have some pancakes?" she asked, zipping it up.

"Yes," Jade said. "We can have pancakes."

They got in the car and Jade started the engine. "With strawberry syrup?"

"Anything for you, Cat," Jade laughed, and the two drove into the blissful nothingness of the Los Angeles desert.

* * *

**I'll be honest. This isn't the way I pictured it ending in my head. Maybe i'm just too much of a perfectionist. But I liked this story. It meant a lot to me for it to be written this way. And, I have a little something more for you guys...**

**Reviews make me smile :)**

**AlwaysAndForeverAfter**


	18. An Epilogue of sorts

And so, I know that this ending does leave out a few details from the story. However, I feel like, short of continuing with this story until the girls are both in their late 60's, there's no way that I could bring the story to a sense of _complete_ closure. There's a part of the reader's job where they just need to take the author's word and accept the story as it is. Unlike _Those Green Eyes_, which I have seriously considered writing a sequel to (which has like, a 60% chance of happening, actually), this will be the end for this story. But for those readers who wanted a bit more closure out of this, and because I've received a plethora of questions that I know I didn't fully resolve in here, I wanted to give you that bit.

Firstly, just because Cat was brought into the West's home does not mean that Mrs. West is going to adopt her. It's the opposite. Cat is a foster child. She went into the foster system because she was 17 and would only need to be in the system for a short while before she could be out in the world on her own. So, she is not in any way, shape or form "sisters" with Jade.

The way I see it, after Cat and Jade both graduate, they attend college together. Jade goes on to study psychology. It helps her with her passion for film and screenwriting because she gets to learn more about the way people's minds work. Cat studies theatre and finds herself in her passion for music even more so than she already knew that she belonged in a musical career.

Cat does still struggle with her panic attacks. The history of her life with her parents haunts her. Jade is there for her in whatever way possible. Cat sees her therapist as often as she needs to and is on anxiety medication, but is learning techniques to cope with the nerves and the panic.

And from there, it's up to you to decide. At that point, the story is not mine any more. I only captured a fictional snippet in the lives of equally as fictional characters. Their lives can go in whichever direction you choose for them to go, whether they get married or have a huge fight and never speak to each other again. Your imagination is as good as mine.

But my story ends here. Again, thank you for coming on this ride with me. The story was actually very hard for me to write the more I got into it. As with most everything that I write, parts of my real life began to appear in this story. And as events in my life unraveled, there came the huge pause in my writing this chapter. Without going into too much detail, I related with Cat extremely. For those of you who may know me personally, then maybe you understand what I mean.

I cannot wait until I start writing my next story. I have tons of partial ideas floating around in my head. It's all a matter of when I find the time to sit down and put these thoughts into coherent words and sentences.

And so, I bid thee all farewell. For now, at least. I start college in exactly two weeks from today (the excitement is unbelievable) so I know that it will be a while before I get to writing again. But I will. I promise.

I love all my readers and I will AlwaysAndForeverAfter 3

Sincerely yours,

Anita


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